The Body of a Complete Soul
by Mei-chiri
Summary: Evelyn and Solas are together now, but they both still have a lot to learn and to discover as a couple. (Including world-building and character development. Sequel of "This Was My Heart". Due to Semi-PWP, this is the censored ver.; full Ver. on A03) (Part of "This Bond of Red" series)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Just like I mentioned in the summary, the original version of this story is porn-with-plot. I didn't want to break the rules here so innitially, I didn't plan to upload if on FF.

But now I decided to post a censored version on this site since as I continue to write, quite a few important plot elements for the next story keep popping up. I figured I better post the important non-explicit parts here for those who don't want to read smut but still want to follow the plot.

If anyone wants to read the full non-censored version, you can find it with the same title on Ao3. On this site, I've replaced the smutty part with the (ao3) mark.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

She overwhelms all his senses.

Her voice, her flesh, her warmth, her scent, her taste, her pleasure—all he can think about is her.

Evelyn trembles beneath his fingers, but as usual, she fights against any reflex that urge her to close her legs or wiggle away from him. All she does is reaching down for his hand to weave their fingers together.

 **(Ao3)**

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Following her hand, he leaves his spot between her legs to crawl up and kiss her, sharing her flavor between their lips.

Pulling back to give Evelyn a chance to catch her breath, Solas takes a moment to observe her, pride surges in his chest at what he had done to her.

Rosy cheeks, heaving chest, tousled hair, swollen red lips. Unable to contain himself, Solas reaches up to caress her lips with his thumb.

What would it be like to have them wrap around his cock? How heavenly would it feel to have her tongue caress him? To look into her eyes as she is bringing him—

No, he has already taken enough from her. There is no need for Evelyn to bring herself down and please him like a slave. He had had plenty of oral sex during his younger days back in Arlathan, but those women were either just want to please him due to his position, want to feel a sense of power and control over him or because they wanted him to repay the favor later so they just treated it as a chore.

The very few ones that actually enjoyed the act were his friends but his bonds with them were different from what he has now with his bondmate. And it is likely that what his friends feel about certain sex acts with him were different from what Evelyn may feel. After all, his love was raised in a completely different environment from the magical and sexually-liberated Arlathan.

And in the end, Evelyn is not like any of those women. As her happiness and comfort are more important than his pleasure, just having her accept him like this is enough for Solas.

He stops thinking to focus back on his lovely soulmate. She still has that exhausted but happy look and he concludes that he certainly should not demand more from her.

Solas nuzzles against Evelyn's face and neck until his bride, still smiling shyly, pushes him back to give her space. She folds her legs until her thighs are pressed against her front, spreading herself wide open for him.

"Come, Solas," Evelyn whispers and there is no choice for him but to obey.

xxXxx

"You really love to do it." Evelyn comments sometime later while they are lying against each other, sweat is still covering their bodies as his hand strokes along her upper arm.

"Do what?"

"T-tasting me, I mean." Evelyn blushes so adorably while murmuring, "Is it fun? You always so focuses on doing it that, sometimes, you don't even care about releasing yourself."

"How could I not enjoy myself when I get to see you like that?" Solas replies, moving his strokes to her cheek. "You are so beautiful, and I love to see you enjoy yourself. Seeing you writhed in pleasure like that and knowing that I am the one who did it—what kind of man would not love that?"

"I see…" Evelyn's blush deepens before she hides her face into his chest. "I love having you do that to me too…"

Chuckling at her reaction, Solas tightens his hold on her.

Evelyn is still quite shy when it comes to talking about sex but she _is_ gradually coming out of her shell each day, at least in her actions. One day, after she has gotten used to freely expressing her desires, he will probably miss her adorable blush a lot.

And since he will miss it, he better enjoys it now.

Thinking just like that, Solas flips both of them over so Evelyn is lying beneath him.

"Since you love it, let me give you more." He licks his lips but before he can crawl down, Evelyn stops him.

"Do you… want me to do the same for you?"

Solas stops to look at her. "Do what?"

"Oral sex. You were looking at my mouth before and seemed to think really hard."

Mentally scolding himself for being so obvious, he smiles and shakes his head. "There is no need for you to do so. Let me handle everything for you. Just lie back and enjoy."

Before Evelyn can protest, Solas quickly kisses her to stop his bondmate from thinking any further. Perhaps this time he should try to test how long she could endure before he pushes her over the edge.

xxXxx

Evelyn is hiding something from him. Solas is sure of it.

For the past few days, she did not come to him in the evening to help him paint the murals or to discuss Veil activities. They only meet at night or when his presence is needed for a meeting with the advisors.

She also burnt her cooking thrice. Evelyn does not burn her cooking, _ever_. Not unless she is extremely sick and Solas has already secretly checked, she is quite healthy—not counting the Anchor's activities, of course.

The only times Evelyn is not acting absentminded is when she is working with the Inquisition's business but that is normal for her. Not to mention since she still has time to cook for him, her workload is probably still at their normal level, so Solas can guess that whatever is bothering his soulmate probably isn't duty-related or at least not serious enough to affect her work performance.

But he is not quite sure if her trouble has anything to do with him either. Their love-making is still amazing, she is very affectionate with him every time she has the chance to do so.

He does not want to open their link to check on her soul—since they had agreed before to learn and develop their relationship like a normal couple—but at this rate, he may need to do so soon.

Grumpily, Solas reaches for another one of the meat pies that Evelyn has left for him. These ones only slightly charred and still taste delicious but he would prefer to have her eat them together with him—they always share a meal together either in this rotunda or in their chambers, now it's just him here.

Having her by his side has really spoilt him rotten. In the past, he could ignore a lover for years or even decades without missing that person or feeling a shred of guilt; but now, just a couple of days without her attending just a portion of their daily routine is enough to leave him in a sour mood.

How the mighty has fallen…

"My friend, for someone who's as lucky as you, you look really miserable." Dorian suddenly appears at the bottom of the stair.

"Pardon?"

"You are a respected member of the Inquisition. Your lover is the Inquisitor and she absolutely adores you. You're now sitting in what's basically your own office with all the research you would ever want… and good food, too." Dorian explains before snatching a small pie for himself. "So, do forgive me but I can't image what could possibly make you so gloomy like that."

Solas lets out a sigh before replying, "Evelyn has been avoiding me in the evening for this whole past week. I just do not understand, everything else between us is still normal, but something is distracting her enough that she actually burnt her cooking."

"Oh, that…?" the younger man slowly chews on his pie while glancing aside.

"You know something, _master Pavus_?" Solas narrowed his eyes at the Atlus.

"Well, I can say I do, but I don't think it's something I should not disclose to you without her consent." Dorian holds up his hands in a placating gesture. "But… how should I put it? You do know about her past, right? It'd be strange if I know more than you."

"I do." Solas's frown deepens, remembering Evelyn's memories that he has seen in the Fade—a little girl with sad eyes who read alone in an empty room. "What of it?"

"Because of how she was raised, there're a lot of things Evelyn doesn't have much experience with compared to normal people; namely, her ability to communicate on a personal level with others," Dorian explains in a serious tone. "She is extremely good at playing the roles other people give her. But when she has to be herself and express her feeling to others and vice versa, Evelyn can be woefully inept. Unless you spell things out in a direct and straightforward manner, she will most likely misunderstand your intention."

Solas grimaces, now remembers how his courtship with Evelyn in the Fade has ended up with her thinking that Fen'Harel views her as a little sister instead—all because he was too much of a coward to say his feelings directly to her. For someone who had no troubles finding lovers and bedmates, Solas is a terrible suitor.

"Then, I _did_ do something wrong?" Solas finally asks.

"Technically, yes." Dorian scratches his perfect hair in frustration. "I did promise Evelyn to not say anything, but if this continues, you two will probably prolong this state for a while…"

The man trails off for a moment before giving up with a heavy exhale. "I think you should end your work early today and go to your chambers now. Evelyn is up there and most likely doing whatever she's doing."

"I do not understand."

"Just believe me and go. Let me deal with this for you." Dorian waves his hand before reaching for the Veil's activity reports Solas was working on. "And remember, talk to her clearly or she won't understand your true intent."

Not wanting to miss the chance to find out what is wrong with his bondmate, Solas leaves without much protest. Opening his sense to check on Evelyn, he confirms that what Dorian said is true—Evelyn is in their bedroom and whatever she is doing, she probably doesn't want anyone to know given how nervous and embarrassed she's feeling right now.

As he goes through the door of their bedroom, Solas deliberately doesn't say anything, only closing the door loud enough for Evelyn to know someone is coming.

Just as he guessed, immediately, there is a small gasp following by hurried rustling sounds. Whatever she was doing, Evelyn certainly does not want anyone to know.

"W-who's there?"

"It is me, vhenan," he answers with a casual voice, using his lightest steps while trying to reach the top of the stair quickly. He can hear her running from one spot to another.

"My Wolf, y-you're back early!" His soulmate says from her spot in the middle of the room—face all red and obviously trying to control her breath. "Finished work already?"

"No, not really." He smiles, suddenly feels the need to tease her despite his more serious intention to come here from the beginning. "I just suddenly wanted to see you so I figured there should be no harm to skip some works to spend more time with you."

"I-is that so?"

He can see Evelyn starts sweating furiously and making very ill-concealed attempts to glance at their bed. She looks like a child trying to not get caught for stealing cookies.

How adorable! Now he wants to tease her even more!

Feinting innocence, Solas walks over to the bed to sit down before holding out his hand to Evelyn. "Come now, vhenan. Won't you let me hold you?"

Evelyn looks apprehensive at first before stepping forward to take his hand and settle herself in his lap. He can see that she is still a bit nervous but eventually, Evelyn relaxes and wraps her arms around his neck, nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck.

"I've missed you these past evenings too, my Wolf," she mutters against his skin. Her small confession squeezes at his heart. Selfishly, he cannot help but feel a little joy knowing that the disruption in their routine does bother her, too.

For a while, Solas thinks that perhaps he should just delay his quest to find out Evelyn's secret and just enjoying his time with her. It is simply too hard to let go of her but when they adjust their positions to be more comfortable, his elf-ears catch a small rustling sound from between from pillows, forcing him to leave his little dream and back to reality.

If he stops his plan now, he may ruin a chance to understand and help Evelyn. Whatever problem his soulmate is having, it is obvious that she does not trust or comfortable with him enough to ask for help—and the thought that he is unreliable for her to depend on is unacceptable to him.

Now that he had confirmed that there is something being hidden on this bed, he needs to move Evelyn out of the way and get to them before her.

And so, he continues to hold her, both to enjoy their little moment of peace and to lull her into a false sense of security until he can find the right time to strike.

Eventually, Solas makes his move. "Do you have any of your sweet tea left? I suddenly feel a craving for it," he asks.

"More like you always drink it instead of my other teas. You are a wolf and yet you like sweet more than meat!" Evelyn huffs out a laugh but still gets up to get to the fireplace.

"There is nothing wrong with enjoying sweet and delicious things?" Solas retorts good-naturally, eyes trail on Evelyn while he carefully edges toward the pillows.

Evelyn turns around to reply, "But you did say that even my bitter teas taste good so—Solas, what are you doing!" and shrieks as she sees Solas dipping his hand into between the pillows.

Immediately, she rushes to him but it's already too late. By the time she has crossed the room to jump on Solas and pull him back, he has already dragged out several stashes of paper and two books.

"Nononono!Don'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlook!" Evelyn keeps yelling while struggling against Solas to snatch back her "secret"; but with her small stature and his strength, it is definitely a hopeless match for her. After a few moments, she finally manages to get a hold on the papers but by that point, the only reason she succeeds is because Solas's mind is basically a blank after he has read some of the titles and text:

 _Chapter 5: The Act of Love with a Woman's Mouth_

 _Basic Techniques of Oral Sex (Female to Male ver.)_

 _Chapter 14. As I learn to pleasure him_

 _How to Catch a Man with Your Tongue in Every Possible Way_

 _Tutorial on How to Leave a Man (and You) Speechless_

Knowing that she has failed, Evelyn screams in frustration before snatching all the documents to herself and turns away.

There is a long, awkward and uncomfortable silence between them until Solas finally snaps out of his shock and collects himself enough to turn to her.

"Ah—Evelyn, that was—"

"You weren't supposed to know until after I've learned it!" Evelyn moans, glancing over her shoulder at him while looking both furious and close to tears. "It was Dorian, wasn't it? I will kill him!"

"'Until after you've learned'? Have you been learning about oral sex? Why didn't you tell me?" Several times before, Evelyn has offered him but each and every time, he had declined and used something else to distract her. Eventually, she stopped asking altogether so he thought that he had finally succeeded in convincing her to abandon the topic—now it turns out he was wrong. Dead wrong.

"If I tell you, you will stop me," Evelyn replies plainly, eyes daring him to tell her the opposite. And truth be told, she is not wrong, he would definitely try to stop her.

"Look, I know that I don't have any experience in this, but I can practice," Evelyn continues while Solas is still debating about what he should say next. "I can try on toys until I'm sure that I won't accidentally bite you."

"What? No!" Solas exclaims. "It is not about whether you have experience or not. Nor do I care that if you could hurt me. I don't want you to do it because I do not want to make you uncomfortable."

Solas holds onto Evelyn's shoulders to turn her fully around to face him. Moving his hands to her cheeks, he gently stroke the skin below her eyes while explaining, "I don't want to force you to attend to my pleasure like a slave. Countless time in the past, I've seen with my own eyes how the masters in Arlathan forcing their slaves to serve them with such acts. It was absolutely humiliating and degrading for those victims. You are my bondmate—there is no way I could let you degrade yourself just for my own gain."

Evelyn looks at him like he is growing a second head before growling. "Solas, did you just seriously compare slavers raping their slaves to me making love with you? If you think that me giving you oral sex is degrading then what the hell did you do to me almost every night? Did you feel insulted when you did that to me too?"

"Never! How could I ever feel like that? I did not mean it like that." How could she ever think that he feels anything other than joy when he is with her. "I love you. Seeing you happy and knowing that I am the reason for it makes me proud of myself."

"Then can't you think for a moment that the same also applied to me? I am your bride! I'm also a grown woman but you didn't even give me a chance to decide for myself!" Evelyn snaps back before, much to his horror, tears start to quell up at the corner of her eyes. "You always make me feel so good so I also want to do the same for you… I want to make you feel happy. I just want to try but then you kept declining me even though it's obvious that you want it, too. I-I've thought there's something wrong with me so you don't want me—"

"No, no, no, Evelyn, please don't cry. I'm sorry! Please!" Frantically, Solas gathers his soulmate into his arms, kissing away her tears while stroking her hair. "There is nothing wrong with you. It is all my fault!"

It is true. Everything is all his doings. He was so arrogant that he thought he could decide what is good for her and what not—in the end, as always, he only ends up hurting her. He has already ruined enough of her life from the moment she was born and now…

He needs to do the right thing.

"Let's try again. Together," Solas says as he pulls Evelyn back to look clearly at her. "You can try it with me. Whenever you want."

"Really?" Evelyn asks before seemingly realizing something and shakes her head. "No, I'm not going to force you to do it just to please me. If you really don't want it then I understand."

She then tries to squirm away from his hold but he pulls her back.

"I do not suggest it just to please you. You know that I want this, don't you? To the point that I actually spaced out while touching your lips. It was why you try to learn from these papers so intently in the first place."

She nods, still half-turns away from him, but at least not fighting to get away anymore.

Gently, he guides her face back to look straight at her. "I think we both have our own flaw in the way we communicate with each other. I tend to assume and decide things for you, while you often try to deal with your trouble on your own instead of asking me directly until I take the initiative. I think we can both learn to help each other by being more open."

Evelyn still keeps silence but she is looking at him now while mulling over his words.

Solas takes a deep breath before asking in a clear and firm voice, "Vhenan, do you still want to try oral sex with me?"

Evelyn presses her lips together for a moment before she, too, answers firmly, "Yes, I do."

"Then let's do it tonight," Solas announces. His heart brightens at Evelyn's smile as she spreads out her arms to wrap them around his neck, pushing both of them to lie back with her on top him.

"Will you show me how?" whispers Evelyn. "The texts are quite details but I just cannot get into them..."

"Of course. To be honest, I was lying when I said I don't care if you could hurt me. I am actually very much concerned with keeping my important part intact," he says it with a straight face, and as expected, it makes Evelyn laugh.

"Good, good. Glad to know you're still very much a normal man with normal concerns then," she replies while wiping away the tears at the corner of her eye, mouth is still spreading ear-to-ear.

He loves her smile so much. Then, he remembers something. "Speaking of those papers, did you get them from Dorian and the Iron Bull?"

"Ah yes, most of the… more 'technical' ones, actually. I found the rest in the library, the romantic ones, you see…" Evelyn explains sheepishly, "I was trying to find more proper tutorials than just women novels when Dorian walked in on me. He and Bull offered to help but…"

"But?"

"I was so mortified when they discussed our sex life, and those two kept arguing with each other on how to teach me so, in the end, Bull found some materials for me to learn by myself." She signs and lets her head fall back onto his chest again. "But no amount of sucking on my fingers could actually show me what it would be like with the real thing. I was actually considering whether or not to ask Bull to get me one of those toys when you suddenly came back."

The thoughts about Evelyn "practicing" sends a flash of heat straight to Solas's groin but he pushes it away. Instead, he decides to just focus on talking with his soulmate, wanting to help her express herself more.

"Oral sex is something better to learn through hands-on practice, vhenan. You have to watch out for your partner's reaction to know what to do," says Solas.

"I know." She thinks for a bit before glaring at him. "But really? I had touched your private part so many times these past weeks ever since we finalized our bond, why did you think I would feel uncomfortable with licking it?"

"Well…" Solas coughs. "Aside from my experience with the slavers and their victims, many of my past bed partners didn't seem to like it that much either. And the very few ones that did were my friends, but I thought that perhaps since they were very different from you so you would not like it. I was wrong, obviously."

"Very obviously," Evelyn deadpans but then she smiles a little, drawing little circles on his chest with her finger. "That's why I'm glad we're talking right now. I've never done anything like this before… talking about feeling and what I like and want to try in such an intimate way, I mean…"

"So am I," Solas replies, turning both of them so they are now lying on their sides, still looking at each other. "All of these—having a serious courtship then a bondmate, talking heart-to-heart, learning about my partner's preferences—I've never thought that I would one day experience a true relationship."

"But didn't you say you have many lovers before?"

He laughs. "Oh, vhenan, having a lover does not necessary means having experience in the matter of the heart. I know how to make love to a woman, but I had never felt the need to try to understand a woman's heart or to please her purely for her happiness in a romantic way. You are the very first person that I care like this. I want to make you happy."

A rush of images flashes through the back of his mind…

 _She is crying under the moon again._

 _Even though she smiled at him so sweetly this afternoon, there is no trace of that happiness in her now._

 _What can he do to make that smile last forever?_

 _He just wants to make her happy._

The emotions come and go faster than even a blink of an eye, leaving barely a register in the elf's mind. Solas can only recognize a feeling of nostalgia but beyond that, it feels like nothing had happened, most of his attention is still on Evelyn, whose smile has widened at his revelation.

"I want to make you happy, too." Evelyn whispers, "Tonight, I want to learn more about you."

"So do I, vhenan." He presses their foreheads together. "So do I."

xxXxx

They spend the evening together, trying to finish her work of the day as soon as possible to leave more time for her to relax.

Eventually, night comes and before he knows it, Solas finds himself helping Evelyn to dry herself after their bed.

There are no needs to change into new clothes so he simply carries her straight from the bathroom to the bed. He sits down on the edge with her in his lap, feeling the pleasant heat and softness of her body.

Gently, she cups his cheek and gives him a reassuring smile. Even without their link, he knows what she wants to say.

 _I will be all right because you are here with me._

Pulling his head down, Evelyn captures his lips. Her kiss is strong, even eager, and Solas feels like he is being pulled along with her will.

Soon enough, their tongues engage in their familiar dance. Little nibbles, long strokes, short strokes, pulling and pushing, entwining and exploring, pleasure and shivers that run down his spine—it is an intoxicating thing that will never make him tired.

When Evelyn ends their kiss, Solas could see the usual flush she always has whenever she is aroused, but in her eyes, there is a keen focus and a little bit of nervousness.

"It will be all right. Go ahead, I will help you out when you need it," Solas reassures her.

She gives him a long look before nodding.

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"E-Evelyn—"

It feels like an eternity in which he is floating in ecstasy.

But it actually only lasts until Evelyn suddenly lets go of his cock and turns aside.

The moment Solas hears her coughing, panic sets through his whole mouth. Immediately, he jumps off the bed to take Evelyn into his arms.

"Vhenan, are you all right?" He frantically turns her around to look all over her.

Tears have gathered at the corner of her eyes, her nose and cheeks are red, and there are drips of liquid running from her mouth.

"I-it's all right—I'm o-okay," Evelyn answers between hacks and coughs. Solas does not dare to believe her but he restrains from saying anything until she calms down.

When she looks at him again, she is smiling.

"I didn't realize you have that much stored in there. Caught by surprise, really." She giggles, half-amused and half-embarrassed. "And keeping something that big in your mouth for that long really aches!"

"This is no laughing matter, Evelyn. You choked," Solas scolds her with a frown, yet cannot help but feel a little proud from her offhanded compliment. Sighing, he helps her up before returning to sit on the bed with her in his lap. "You shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard like that. It was your first time, not a competition."

"I'm an overachiever, and I like to do well even from my first start." Evelyn shrugs. "I'm sure now if I get to practice more with you, I can do better," she says confidently.

He sighs again, "Still…"

"But you liked it, did you not?" she cuts him off.

"Yes, it was incredible," Solas admits—he cannot lie to her, not after he has shown how much he enjoyed it and after he has seen her own happiness. "I love it."

His confession makes a brilliant smile bloom on Evelyn's face. Pride shines through her eyes. She wraps her arms around his neck and whispers into his neck, "I'm glad, my Wolf."

"So am I, vhenan," he murmurs, hands stroking her bare back and thighs. He turns her head to kiss her, but she stops him instead.

"Something wrong?" Solas frowns.

"There's still some… left in my mouth." Her cheeks redden as she covers her mouth with her hands.

Cannot help himself, Solas chuckles before pulling back Evelyn's hands.

"Oh, vhenan, how many times have I kissed you right after I used my tongue on you?" He taps her bottom lip.

"…Too many times to count?" Evelyn replies, avoiding his gaze.

"And do you hate it?" He smirks, already knowing her answer.

She looks at him shyly now. "N-no, I really love it."

"Then why do you think I would hate to kiss you after you have done the same to me?"

He does not wait for her answer this time and just leans down to kiss her. She does not shy away from him either, opening her mouth so willingly for his tongue to dart in and have a taste of himself.

When he leaves her mouth, Evelyn is smiling so tender at him.

"You haven't asked if I like to give you oral sex or not?" she tilts her head.

"Do you…?" hesitantly, Solas asks, a mixed feeling rises in his chest about the possibility that her answer will be "no".

Not answering him right away, Evelyn takes his hand and press his fingers against the junction between her thighs.

She is wet. Very much so. And it is obvious that it isn't just because of his kiss.

"I love it," she says simply, eyes twinkling as her tongue sticking out to wet the corner of her lips.

It is only then that Solas realizes there are still traces of his seed trailing down on her chin; and on her breasts, semi-translucent splatters of liquid decorating her skin.

He can feel his cock twitches. And so does Evelyn.

He was so wrong about this, and he is glad that Evelyn has proven him otherwise—Solas concludes as he quickly moves. In a blink of an eye, Evelyn is already lying in the middle of the bed with him hovering above her.

"We can practice more in the future. Remember back when I said that there are things I want to show you? I want to keep that promise with you now. No more hiding or assuming." Solas says in a low voice, his hand stroking tenderly against her cheek. "I want to learn more about you."

There are still a lot of things for them to learn as a couple, especially when they both have no experience in this matter. But while Solas has no doubt that they will argue and even fight one another many times more in the years to come, right now, nevermore that he has such a high hope in their future.

And with the light in her eyes as she looks up to him, Solas can tell that Evelyn is clearly thinking about the same thing.

"I cannot wait." She smiles, fingers gliding from between his shoulder blades to the top of his neck before pulling him down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

She looks at the stars and wonders what is it like to never have to concern yourself with mortal affairs—to not have to drench yourself in blood while covering your face with a beautiful mask and your mouth sprouting hollowed pretty words.

Evelyn has done her best tonight to gather power for her goal and what a great reward that she has been promised—the full support of Empress Celine herself in this war against Copheryus and beyond. But then again, that 'beyond' would only last until the day the truth comes out, Evelyn has no doubt that once Solas's—No, _their_ plan goes into motions, Celine, and perhaps even Briala, will regret deeply to ever associate themselves with the Inquisitor.

But it is not the thought about the fury the Empress of Orlais will one day give her that make Evelyn's heart full of heaviness, it is the memories of the burnt bodies in the slum and the cold stares of the dead servants that haunt her. Dead, lifeless, slaughtered like animals and their cries went unheard or just flat out ignored because they were born into a wrong life.

 _Just like the mages in the Circle back then._

It was the same, even the sticky feeling her feet had when she stepped into those puddles of blood was identical. Evelyn could kill Florianne, but that is just too quick for her. And even if she keeps the woman alive and humiliate her as a punishment, it still will not bring those innocent lives back. How many times more that has to happen before people can live the life that they deserve? How many times more does she has to contribute to the death of innocent people? How many times she had to play the Game until their dream could come true? How many times more could she bear to—

"There you are." His voice softly appears behind her back, prompting her to quickly turn around to see his face full of concern for her as he closes the only door leading to this balcony they are on.

Suddenly, the answer to the questions she had just now is so very clear as it should have been: As many times as it should take. And she will bear all the guilt she has to take along the way.

While Evelyn loses herself in her musing, Solas has come forward to cup her cheek before hugging her to himself. Something must have shown on her face because these days he does not check on her emotion as much as before in respect for her privacy.

"I'm all right," she whispers into his ear as her arms circling around him. "You are here, so I'm all right. I can get used to it."

"Just because you can do so does not mean it doesn't hurt."

Evelyn both cannot deny it and is also grateful for his presence, so she does not say anything else. Instead, she huddles closer into his embrace for a while before pulling back.

"Did you get anything else aside from the passcode?" Evelyn asks.

"I have managed to gather some decryptions to solve the main secret codes Briala often uses for her operations—This will help us greatly." Solas smirks in satisfaction.

"That was fast!" She honestly thought it would take them weeks after contacting with Briala to know more about how the woman works.

"Certain things have certain patterns, vhenan. Once you've lived long enough like me, you will know enough to see what normal people do not notice." Solas hummed. "Of course, this is just a small part of the whole puzzle, but it is a start."

"Even so, you have done a lot in such a short time." No matter how many times she witnesses it, her lover always surprises Evelyn with how fast and effective he could perform his tasks.

"Only because you kept my path clear," he gently corrects her, his fingers playing with the loose hair near her cheek. "You've done a terrific job tonight, Evelyn. Playing the Game and then finishing the physical work yourself—you wouldn't be out of place if this ball were to take place in Arlathan."

He stopped a bit before adding with a half-smirk, "It is a pity I did not get to see you tear off your previous dress though. It would have been quite a sight to see."

" _That_ again?" Evelyn scoffs. Suddenly, the mood between them changes. "Seriously, I think you should have been the one who wore that gown. You are so in love with it that it apparently hurts you more to see me rip it than myself." Evelyn huffs.

"I love seeing _you_ in that gown. It's not often that I get to see you in such lovely things outside the Fade and I think I deserve to enjoy it more." As he speaks, Solas quickly lifts her up to sit her on the stone rail of the balcony, making her let out a small squeak. "In fact, I am very enjoying myself right now to see you like this."

Evelyn blushes slightly but can't help feeling good about herself after his statement. Vivienne, ever the fashionable First Enchanter, has turned out to have been preparing some extra outfits for their group after their battle. In hindsight, it was a good idea of her to do so—no matter what achievement the Inquisition could make in regard to the throne, many of the Orlesian noblemen and women here are simply too obsessed with appearance to be properly interacted with unless one is dressing up to their idea of a standard.

But Vivienne has surprised Evelyn quite a bit when the woman gave her the gown to wear—the dress's design is indeed less practical than her old one with it thin light blue and silver color materials. It has cuts along the shoulders and upper arms to reveal her skin. The sleeves gather around her elbows before letting the lace flows to her mid-forearms. With all the seamlines decorated with delicate laces, this outfit should have made Evelyn look very fragile and innocent, but there is one detail on it that makes it go against the idea of a noble feminine outfit: The front opening of her high collar is big and deep enough that it completely exposes the large red, angry scar between her breasts.

For a lady to show scars in the court of the Empire is an unimaginable thing, that is the known rule for anyone with the faintest idea about noble fashion, but Vivienne had a different idea.

" _This is quite unexpected," Evelyn commented as she is looking down at her chest._

" _You don't like it?" asked Vivienne._

" _No, surprisingly. I just thought that you would give me something more… traditional?"_

" _Oh, my dear girl, traditional is for the normal aristocrats." Vivienne let out her trademarks laugh. "But you are not normal—you are the Inquisitor. You may need to dress properly to attend a ball but that doesn't mean you have to make yourself blend into the crowd. You have done an exceptional job in pulling Celine to our side, but the people below the Empress need a little more persuasion."_

" _So, my black gown decorated with the blood of my enemies isn't enough?"_

 _Vivienne hummed, stepping forward to tuck a red rose into Evelyn's hair before replying, "They have seen you as a noblewoman, then they saw you as a soldier and a leader; the final step is to show them that you are all."_

 _The Enchanter then placed a finger against the top of the red scar. "You may dress in finery like them, but this scar shows that you are not the same as them. You have power and resources that you've earned with your own blood unlike most people here, that is what they need to know. They need to be reminded that you are not someone they want to fight against."_

 _That… was something Evelyn has never thought about before, using her scars as a way to assert domination. This wound, to her, was a reminder of how dangerous her life as Fen'Harel's bondmate would be; but more than anything, it was a reminder that he loves her. Despite how unsightly it might have seemed to other people, as Evelyn has sometimes seen the ways the maids winced when they see it, she truly cherished it and was silently glad that it would never fade away._

 _And now, to think that it could also be used as a weapon… she liked it. She liked it_ a lot _._

" _Thank you, Vivienne." Evelyn smiled, feeling a new confidence rising in her chest._

" _Of course," the First Enchanter simply said._

The gentle stroking from Solas's fingertips against her collarbone yanks Evelyn from her reminiscence. Trying to ignore the way it sends shivers down her spine, she explains, "It was Vivienne's idea—something to give a message to the noblemen and women here."

"I see," Solas says. "I think it works quite well. On my way here, I overheard people talking about dangerous you look now despite their initial impression of you."

"That's good to hear."

"But I also heard from quite a few men that they would like to get to know you better." As he says, a dark shadow looms on Solas's face and for the first time, Evelyn sees an emotion she has never seen from him before.

"Are you jealous?" She quickly grabs his hand and presses it tightly against her chest. "Solas, you know that there's no way I would ever return the advance of those men."

"I know." He glances aside, brows turning into a deep frown full of disgust. "But it does not mean that you can stop them from looking at you with those lustful stares. They were even taking bets about 'conquering' you as if you are some kind of prize or prey and not a person."

"Solas." Evelyn sighs. Gently, she turns his head back to face her with one hand. "Who cares if they harbor ill intentions toward me? It's not the first time someone has done so, and it won't be the last. Right now, all I care about is that you are looking at me. I only need to know that you want me."

To emphasize her point, she grabs the front of his shirt to pull him up and capture his lips. His tongue carries the flavor of sweet wine she had tried at the beginning of the ball, and the combination of its headiness with Solas's very own unique taste makes her feel a little lightheaded.

When they let go, it is only to breathe and even, they still have their forehead press together and their arms remain wrapping around one another.

Solas chuckles. "If this is how you react whenever I get jealous, I must do it more often."

"Even if you don't, I can do this with you anytime you get in the mood." Evelyn strokes his cheek. "But usually you don't get rile up by other people that easily even when they're attacking you directly, why are you so work up now?"

"Vhenan, I've spent thousands of years living for the sake of my people, I've given them everything I had—my power, my friends, the bonds and peaceful life that I could have. Everything I've wanted to possess was all for them. But you…"

He cupped her face with both of his hands and she finds herself unable to move under his gaze. " _You_ are the first and only thing that I want for myself that I will never let go. Those men can set their eyes upon anything else that I have—but not _you_. _Never you_."

Evelyn wants to say something, anything in response to that heartfelt confession but before she could find it, Solas's lips have already descended upon hers once more and this time, its intensity increases tenfold.

Head spinning, toes curling and nails digging into whatever purchase they could find, Evelyn feels like her mind is being pulled away by a strong current that consumes all that stands in its path. By the time she is aware of her surroundings again, she realizes it's because Solas has left her mouth to pay attention to her neck and ear.

His left hand has somehow sneaked into the inside of her dress's opening, pawing at her breast. The rough parts of his fingertips rub against her nipple, making her breath hitches in her chest.

"Do you want me to stop?" Solas asks into her ear and Evelyn knows he will stop immediately if she says "yes". But "yes" isn't what she wants.

"Don't stop—" Evelyn does not get the chance to finish when a sharp but wonderful pain runs through the side of her neck. It will leave a mark for sure, especially when Solas's attempt to sooth it involves sucking at the bite mark immediately afterward.

Evelyn let out a laboring breath through her mouth, trying to keep her head tilt aside so her bondmate can focus on his task. It feels wonderful, and a more rational part of her mind has an inkling that if she continues to let him do this, things will escalate even more. The balcony they are on doesn't have any window—the only exist is that door but she did notice Solas had placed a temporary seal spell on the lock when he was closing it. If anyone wants to go out here, the two of them would notice right away, but it is still risky for them to do this.

And yet…

"More." She whispers, pulling at his shoulder.

Solas complies. He moves her around so she is now leaning against a tall post of the balcony rail, at a perfect height for his mouth to kiss her and his hand sneaking under her dress to stroke the bare skin of her thigh.

Evelyn's ears could only hear the sounds that her lover makes. The music and voices of people on the other side of the wall have long faded into white noises. Her eyes can only focus on her bondmate as everything else becomes blurry like they are being covered by a layer of mist.

Solas has, at some points, loosened up the front of her top, giving himself more access to her breasts and he certainly doesn't waste time to enjoy them. Rubbing, nuzzling, sucking, biting, he feasts upon her hungrily. His hand has moved up to rubbing against her groin through the thin fabric of her small but he doesn't make any attempt of going in like he usually does.

For a while, her bondmate keeps her on that near edge of pleasure, enough to make her dizzy but not quite to reach there. Pleasure is running through her and yet she is empty at the same time.

"Solas, more, please. I need you." She pleads, trying to edge him on by rubbing a certain spot on the back of his ears, knowing that it will make him lost control.

"Are you sure?" Solas asks and Evelyn could hear a subdued constrain in his otherwise normal tone.

"Of course, I am!" She raises her voice, feeling a bit annoyed that he had taken thing this far and now asking her _this_.

"Even if there is someone who is watching us right now? In particular, that man on that balcony over there?"

Suddenly, Evelyn is very aware of her surrounding now.

"What?" She almost turns around by reflex but Solas stops her.

"Now, don't do that, vhenan. You don't want him to see your face, do you?"

"How long has he been there?" Evelyn speaks through her gritted teeth. Her voice automatically comes out much quieter despite the fact that she knows that the nearest balcony should be over a couple of meters away from here.

"Long enough for him to probably assume that we will do more than just kissing," Solas says nonchalantly, his eyes flicker toward the direction of that man before returning to her. "He looks very interested in our activity, and very impatient right now."

"And you didn't think it was important to tell me earlier?" Evelyn fumes, the 'rather than let me get this high only to cut me off like this' is left unsaid.

"This is not the first time I make a show for others to see, plus the facts that he cannot see your face or that I thought you wouldn't let things go this far," Solas explains lightly but then his face turns serious. "If you are uncomfortable, we can stop here. We have the rest of the night in our room so it's not like we have to get it done here."

As he speaks, his left hand is stroking her back in a comfortable gesture while his right one laces its fingers with her left's. Well, perhaps his actions are making her feel too comfortable because that little fire in her lower stomach is making it existent known to her once more.

But if that man stays too long and realizes who they are, if anyone comes through that door and see them, it could lead to trouble down the line…

"It's okay. I suppose we should get out of here now." Solas's sigh makes her look up to see his gentle, understanding smile. "I shouldn't have risked the Inquisition's reputation. And I am sorry for making you uncomfortable like that."

He takes her hand to pull her toward the door.

But she stops him by standing still on her spot without letting his hand go.

"Evelyn?"

How could she let her fear disappointed him like that? Sure, they could give up a few moments of intimation to avoid the gossiping ears around them but… isn't doing it the same as acknowledging their relationship is something shameful that should be hidden away?

She is not ashamed of him. Never him.

"Stay." Her voice is small at first but the solid feeling of his warm hand in hers gives her more confidence as she says her words, "Stay with me. Here."

"Are you sure? If someone sees, they will—"

She doesn't let him finish. By pulling him down for a demanding kiss, Evelyn has effectively cut off any argument Solas could have and more. He had let out a grunt of surprise at first, but now he is so compliant in her embrace and tries to return her kiss with an even greater enthusiasm than before.

When they let go of each other's mouth to catch their breath, there is a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that make her feel so giggly despite the knowledge that they currently have an uninvited audience.

"That was more enthusiastic than I expected." Solas chuckled, hugging her to himself again. "But are you sure? I don't want us to go through this and then having you beat yourself over it afterward out of regret."

It is not "having you blame it" but "having you beat yourself over it"—as always, he is still more concerned about her hurting herself than what she would feel toward him. How could she do any less for her Wolf?

"If anyone sees us, it would only a minor scandal compare to what we had faced before." Evelyn caresses Solas's cheeks with her thumbs. "I'm more concerned if you're okay with this, having an extra viewer, I mean? Those nobles could try to give you a hard time if they all know."

"Oh, vhenan, it was me who initiated this in the first place and now you are asking if I care about them?" Solas smirks. "Let me say this clear to you—all I care about is your consent. As long as you are happy, I don't care what others think."

His words resonant through her, giving her even more courage to push her worry to a side. Licking her lips and feeling that giddy excitement from preparing to do something so new and forbidden, Evelyn pushes herself against Solas.

"Then… let me take care of you. I have promised to give you rewards before if you behave and not playing tricks on people tonight, have I not?" The words come out so in a low, husky tone—so different from what her normal self's behavior that and yet aside from a slight hotness on her cheek, she doesn't really feel the urge to take it back or stammering her speech to try to excuse it.

Instead, Evelyn slides her hand from Solas's chest down to his lower stomach, deliberately stops just above the very obvious budge stranding against the inside of his trousers.

In a flash, Evelyn finds herself being pushed against the rail post like before with Solas's mouth once against devouring her. His hand roaming all over her body before reaching the back of her thighs.

Effortlessly, her bondmate lifts her up and basically have her hover between him and the rail post. Even if at least now she has somewhat gotten used to being lifted around by him, Evelyn still can't help but marvel at his strength and the way he could carry her so easily without breaking a sweat—just like now, when he is holding her against the post with one hand while his other one working to untie the strings of her small.

Impatient and trying to be helpful, she fumbles with her own task of undoing the hidden buttons of his pants. Unlike him, her hand is clumsy both from inexperience and excitement so it takes her longer to do it—with her Wolf waiting so patiently for her after he had already discarded her smalls to aside.

 **(A03)**

 **(A03)**

 **(A03)**

Since Solas needs to check his appearance more than Evelyn because her long gown can hide away the mess until they return to their room while his pants cannot, Evelyn hands out a handkerchief from her hidden pocket to Solas to clean himself up while she is retrieving her discarded small from the ground.

Taking a long look at the piece of underclothes while feeling the still very apparent wetness between her legs, Evelyn concludes that there is no point to put the thing on only for it to be taken off again once they reach their room. After all, even if she feels very satisfied right now, with the thrill he has installed in her, the thought of them enjoying each other one more time still sends a flash of heat down her lower stomach.

Tucking away her small into the empty pocket, Evelyn glances at Solas who shoots back a smirk with half-lidded eyes at her.

Yes, one time just isn't enough. Not when a sense of longing and disappointment runs through her as she realizes how empty she is without him. Looking at him, she can see the mischievous glint in his eyes and a promise for something more.

Suddenly remembers the man who is watching them, Evelyn's usual curiosity rises up to the surface again. She wants to see who has seen her lovemaking with Solas, wants to know what is his expression right now after everything. And simply, she just wants to know.

At once, she turns around to find that man.

But there is no one anywhere. All the balconies are empty.

Has that man left already? But if he did, Solas would have told her immediately instead of making her worry the whole time. Unless…

Evelyn looks back to her bondmate with narrowed eyes.

He is grinning, with teeth and all. "I would never endanger you, vhenan. Not without telling you everything first before we even start anything."

Teeth grinding, she lands her fists on his chest. "You jerk! How could you trick me like that? I was so worried that you could get into troubles!"

He even has the nerves to laugh, catching her swinging hands with ease. "I'm so sorry, emma lath. But I did make you forget, did I not? Have you feel better now?"

That makes her stop, and the gears in her head start spinning.

Forget? Feeling better? Oh…

So that is why he created this elaborate prank? Solas has seen her being so upset after everything happened tonight that he used sex to make her relax. He has made her so focus on being caught in a little sex scandal to help her forget about the servants' deaths and everything else.

The realization makes her anger defuse rapidly, but instead of feeling a full relief and joy, Evelyn finds herself feeling… disappointed.

There was no one watching them. No one to see that she has no shame about Solas. No one outside the Inquisition to know that she truly loves and cherishes—that this is not a game like the ones the nobles here play with the elven servants to pass the time.

Feeling all energy leaving her body, Evelyn's arms fall to her sides. She leans forward bonelessly, pressing her face against Solas's chest.

"You are mean. So mean…" she moans with her half-muffed voice. "I was so hoping—"

Face reddens, she cannot finish, leaving Solas pulls her back to look at her. "What's wrong, Evelyn? You were what?" His face is full of concern now, she can even feel a slight panic from his soul.

Swallowing her embarrassment, Evelyn steps back, takes a deep breath and then blurts out in one go, "I want that man and everyone else see us making love! I am not ashamed of you or us and if I have to show the world what I do in bed to prove that then so be it! The people here think that you are just a game to me and I won't allow that—I love you and I won't let anyone think otherwise!

Her whole body feels like it's burning now. She cannot look at him in the eyes so she glues her gaze to the floor instead. Lips pressed into a thin line. Her finger fiddle relentlessly with the thin outer layer of her dress, probably going to tear a couple of holes in it soon.

Solas must be thinking that she is so childish to feel the need to prove her love for him like this, but Evelyn can't help it. She is who she is and she cannot lie to her feeling or get rid of her concern about their surrounding, after all.

But Solas does not laugh, instead, he just comes over to slowly embrace her, his arms gradually tighten around her like a pair of strong vices, as if he wants to make sure he will never let her go afterward.

"Thank you, Evelyn," Solas murmurs. "Thank you for loving me. I am so sorry I caused you such distress."

He pulls back to press his forehead against hers before sighing. "I was so short-sighted that I just focused on relieving your current worry without thinking that it could potentially cause you a different trouble. I will not do it again."

Knowing how Solas is, Evelyn immediately grabs his face to force him to look straight into her eyes. "Stop that trend of thought right now. Do not regret that you were trying to make me happy. I was being the usual me while you were just being the usual you. It is just how we are and I love you for that."

Touches her lips to Solas's in a sweet, chaste kiss, she smiles. "Thank you for trying so hard to help me. I feel much better now."

And then her smile turns wicked. "In fact, I feel so much better that I think we should do something adventurous like this more often."

That makes Solas grin, his thumb stroking her lower lip as he says in a husky voice, "As you wish, vhenan."

A cold wind soon comes over to make her shudder, knowing that it is time for them to return to their room now, Solas quickly helps Evelyn fix her clothes and hair to a more presentable state before opening the door.

They come inside with her arm wraps around his, their fingers entwine and the murmurs of the crowd signal that their action does not go unnoticed.

Evelyn is smiling now. If only those people know what is running down her legs now or see the bite marks Solas has left on her neck and breasts.

But then again, she could safely assume that people will all know later when the elven servants tell them. After all, the sense of smell of an elf is far superior and from the look of the servants' faces, they all must know what has just happened between Solas and her.

Ah, she cannot wait to see the look on their faces tomorrow, when they help her bathe and dress—with Solas also presents and helps—for the dinner with the Empress's court.

They will see all the marks that Solas will leave on her entire body tonight. Marks to show that he is a very willing and possessive partner. Marks to show that he is not afraid to let the world know that she is his just as much as he is hers.

She simply cannot wait to show them all.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: A little bit of world-building!

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

* * *

The air is still so cold, bitterly so. Even with his special physic, Solas can still feel the unnatural chill running through his bones, making his fingers stiff and lost all of their sensations.

Still, his work has not done yet before he can return to her.

Hakkon Wintersbreath may have been banished back to the Fade, but his effect is still presenting on the whole region, especially around this place where he has let out most of his power. Somethings must be done or this condition may last for weeks, even months.

Holding out his hands, Solas pulls at the Fade to create several magic glyphs before scattering them all over the battlefield—they will gradually dispel the cold effect around here enough so that the Inquisition members could safely come to collect the remains of the high dragon.

Solas supposes he can give the instruction to the Circle mages so they can deal with the rest of the area instead of doing it himself but he needs to do the testing first to establish a proper instruction for them.

A long period has passed by the time he has exhausted his mana and ensured that this place is safe. Tired but somewhat satisfied, Solas hurries back to where his camp is.

Just as he's expected, most of his group has gone to their own tents, only two people left, the Iron Bull and Evelyn.

"Solas, you're back!" Evelyn stands up and takes his hands in hers. Her hands are warm from the campfire, but she still calls for a small wave of warm air around him.

"You needn't wait for me like this. It's not good for your health," Solas gently chides. Evelyn has suffered quite a bit of cold burns during the battle so he would prefer her to stay inside their warm and closed tent instead of waiting for him in the cold like this.

She just rolls her eyes. "I sat next to a fire, I'm not going to die from just a little bit of cold." She then pulls Solas along and sits him down before passing a big bowl of soup to him. The thick, hot liquid slide down his throat, quickly warm him up and before he knows it, Solas has already devoured his entire meal.

"I'll take the first shift, then Cole will handle the next one. You two need a long rest, Cassandra agreed about that, too." Bull says before taking in a long draft from his bottle. "And boss, thanks again for the dragon, that was the best. Ever!"

Evelyn laughs as she stands up. "This is the fifth time you say that. If I don't bring you to deal with a dragon then I have no right to be your friend."

"This is why I like you so much!" The ex-Qunari roars out a big laugh. But when Evelyn has finally retreated inside their tent, the Iron Bull turns to Solas with a serious look on his face. "Make sure you check on her wounds again. Talk to her, too. I think this whole thing has really worn her out. She worries about something."

Solas nods, he too has noticed Evelyn's fallen mood despite her cheeriness so he quickly finishes every other task before going to her.

By the time he has cleaned himself and come into the tent, Evelyn had already prepared everything for them.

The inside of their tent is bright with Veilfire and warm enough for him to take off his coat and fur. The bedrolls have been pulled out with Evelyn sitting in the middle of them in only her shirt and leggings.

Wordlessly, he comes to her and lets her help him to take off his clothes as part of their routine—they have started to sleep without clothes with each other ever since they came to this region. It is both for warmth and for reassurance.

"Ameridan… I don't know how to feel about his passing." Evelyn suddenly says while she is folding his shirt. "I had hoped that he would survive after the seal was removed, that he would become a part of the Inquisition and then our plan. But then… I was glad that he died…" She stops there, probably not knowing how to continue or expressing herself.

"Talk to me, vhenan." Solas gently guide her face up with his hands. "Tell me why did you feel so."

"All of the things he fought for had either changed too much or long disappeared. I feel like it'd be cruel for him to see this world and it'd be more merciful for him to die only knowing that he had done good things." She bites her lower lip, brows draw tightly together. "But here you are, you've continued to endure a fate just like him until this very day and I accepted it. I did believe that Ameridan could do the same, but then I was glad for his death. I feel like I've disrespected him, and I am a hypocrite."

Soft-hearted and kind Evelyn, cunning and pragmatic Evelyn, Solas loves both aspects of her but sometimes, it hurts him to see how her own very nature is what causes her suffering.

"Emma lath, it is not wrong to care about another person." He pulls her to sit in his lap. "You cared about your predecessor enough to lie about his lover to give him comfort. He realized it right away, but he was thankful for your kindness nevertheless, was he not? It is not a bad thing to want to spare someone's feeling despite believing that a person could endure more."

"Solas…"

"If I have to say the truth, many times I have wished that things could go different so that you don't have to endure this path with me." He exhales before looking up to somewhere far away. "I know you are strong and you will come out triumph, but it still brings me sorrow to see you are hurt by everything."

"Did you… ever regret about us?" Her voice comes out in barely a whisper.

His gaze snaps back to her immediately. "No. I will not regret it! I just wish that the circumstances are a little different, that things are not so complicated—to make things easier for you… that is all."

"I wish things were easier for you, too." Evelyn smiles sadly. "Perhaps it was the best for Ameridan… he is with Telena now. They are not alone anymore."

"True. Their souls are once again complete now." The corners of Solas's lips curl up as he presses his forehead against Evelyn's.

They stay like that for a moment until Evelyn squeeze his lower arm, her voice full of worry and guilt when she asks, "But, Solas, why didn't you tell me that powerful demons like Hakkon can hurt Dreamers like you merely with their presence? I know that your kind is sensitive to demons but I didn't know it could actually cause great pain to that level."

Ah, she was also worried about him. A pang of guilt appears in his heart, it was careless of him to not reassure Evelyn right away… And he supposes it is time for him to tell her more about his origin.

Shaking his head, Solas explains, "Hakkon can cause pain to Dreamers such as Telena, but not me, for my own kind cannot hurt me."

"Your own kind?" Evelyn frowns.

"I am part of what the People would call "The Firsts". I may not have born right away at the very start of the People, but the way I was brought from the Fade into this world was the same as them."

"The very start… from the Fade… your own kind…" Evelyn mulls over his words for a bit before her eyes widen. " _Oh…_ "

Just as he's guessed, she catches on very quickly.

"So you were…?" She whispers.

"A spirit," Solas finishes for her.

"How did the Firsts of the People come to be? What made them gain physical forms?" Evelyn quickly inquires. Solas can already see her curiosity running wild at the new knowledge.

"To be honest, we are not sure either—some of us had theorized that the sources of the emotions that gave birth to us and then materialized us were the Titans, but some others refused to accept it since if we did, it meant that we had destroyed our very own creators. There are other ideas about us simply came into being after an eternity of the Fade interacting with the physical plane. Either way, most of us didn't care to find out since too much time has passed."

Evelyn had asked him about the Titans before when they went through that mission with Orzammar in the Deep Roads. He had tried to answer her as best as he could but even his knowledge about the matter was lacking—by the time he was born, the giant beings have mostly disappeared from the surface of Thedas. The People were warring between themselves then while the Children of the Stone has just started their own kingdom without being Titans' slaves. And there were still years before the Evanuris were fully established.

"You said that you were born later?" asks Evelyn.

"Mythal called for me and others to help her in her war to unify the People," Solas replies. "She also needed force to deal with the few Titans that were destroying our cities."

"She needed help that much?"

"Very much so." He signs. "She cried for the loss of her children and hated herself for not strong enough. Since she knew many ancient secrets about the origin of our People, she probably knew the specific method of creating more of us in that way. No matter what, her pull was so powerful that even when I didn't want to, I was still forced to have a body and became part of this physical world."

Evelyn's face becomes unreadable at his explanation and it takes him a second to realize his error.

"When I said 'I' didn't want, I meant my previous self, not this current me. I am Solas now— _your_ Solas, and it is all that matter," he quickly explains, fearing that he has made her think that he does not want this life. "I think it was due to Mythal that I don't really have much memory from before my 'birth'—a fortunate thing, I suppose."

"Do you…" Evelyn finally asks after a minute of silence. "…remember anything specific back when you were a spirit?"

"I remember stronger emotions I received from the mortal plane, but I'm unsure of what kind of spirit I was or if I was even a complete one that fully embodied an aspect. Perhaps I was a Wisdom spirit, or a Pride demon—given the name Mythal gave me. Either way, it was only after I 'became' Solas that I truly have a sense of self."

"Was that why you disagreed with Cole became more human?" Evelyn asks more, voice still soft, hesitant and carrying doubts.

"I was worried for him because back then, I was still being torn about what to do with you. Becoming a physical being in a world that has been separated from the Fade brings pain to you. You experience all emotions, becomes more aware of this world with all of its beauty and ugliness and yet cannot return home to find comforts. Cole is a spirit of Compassion, he is bound to feel even more…" Solas tightens his jaw. "But I was wrong, I let my arrogant ruling my view and I thought I knew better than him. I just didn't want to acknowledge it."

"About what?" Evelyn tilts her head.

"I did not want to acknowledge that the physical world after the Veil's creation still has things that are worth the pain of living as a flesh and blood being." He smiles tenderly, putting his lips upon her. It is short but gentle but when he pulls back, Solas finds the strength to continue. " _You_ make this world _real_ to me—as real as my world back then. For you, I've found the strength to admit that it only needs to change and not to be destroyed to bring back the past. Because of you, I am truly glad that Mythal has brought 'me' into existence."

Solas watches as Evelyn lets his words to sink into her. The doubt in her eyes gradually disappears until all that left is love and gratefulness. She holds out her arms to wrap him up in a tight embrace and even without seeing her face, he knows she is smiling now.

"Thank you for sharing this with me, Solas," she whispers into his ear. Then, her arms around his neck squeeze tighter as she says her next words, "Thank you for being born."

Solas's eyes and the bridge of his nose burn. Once so long ago, Shalelan had said the same thing to him too—how he wishes that his guardian could have lived longer to see that her wish for him had been realized.

They hold on to one another for a while until Evelyn sneezes.

That makes Solas laugh.

"Let get you out of these clothes, and get into bed soon," he suggests. They would also need to change her bandages.

Evelyn agrees.

xxXxx

After the battle, his bondmate had asked him to only heal her most serious wounds to save his energy for the rest of their group and to work on the dispel glyphs. He had agreed back then but now, finally seeing her completely out of her clothes but still covered in bandages, Solas thinks that he should have not followed her request at all.

She may seem well enough right now, but Solas when he strips off the white fabrics off her, what greets him are angry and swollen patches of skin. Even Evelyn knows she cannot just wave it off because she is avoiding his eyes right now.

This just won't do, and he had eaten so there should be enough mana to heal her worst burns. Evelyn, of course, makes a sound of protest when she sees the first spark on his fingers but one stern look from Solas is enough to stop her. He is her bondmate, this is the least he could do for her.

By the time he had finished the job of wrapping up her remaining burns on her arms, Solas feels the heaviness in his chest has lightened considerably. It is hard to talk about the past and his feeling for her, but he has learned to enjoy the feeling of freedom and connecting it can bring.

"Feeling better now, my love?" He weaves his hand into her hair and kisses her cheek.

She nods, her smile is there but a shadow lurking still lurking behind it. "Let's go to bed now, my Wolf."

Solas quickly lies down on his back, pulling the fur blanket on both of them, but unlike what he had expected, Evelyn does not settle next to him. Instead, she just lies on her stomach while resting her upper body on her elbow, making her hover above him.

Ah, so that is what she wants.

After he has moved in with her, Solas had discovered that Evelyn loves to observe and touch him. She loves to touch his face and stares at him for a long while, as if she is trying to memorize him, committing him into her memory. Perhaps she is still feeling like everything they have with each other right now is a dream and need a reassurance.

Indeed, that is the most reasonable explanation, given that Evelyn often does this whenever she is having too much stress.

Her free hand strokes his cheek. The fingertips gently map the freckles under his eye, over his nose to the other cheek. Her thumb grazes the dimple on his chin. Her gaze on him is intense and anyone else should feel unnerved by her strange action—except for Solas. He relishes in her attention, selfishly enjoying the fact that he is the center of her world, at least in these moments where there are just the two of them.

"Telena was Ameridan's soulmate, and yet her soul couldn't be with him for all those times. She died alone waiting for him… Even her words could only be delivered by someone else." Evelyn suddenly says, voice just above a whisper. "It's so terrifying."

"Vhenan…" Solas is not sure of what to say.

Evelyn does not wait for his comment either, she continues, "Solas, back when I nearly died after that Red Scale incident, in the Fade, you said that even if I did die, you wouldn't let me go. Was that true? Will you keep my soul with you even if I'm dead?" Her voice is shaking now, just barely, but it is.

Hiding away his own tremble, Solas remember the desperation he felt back then and the overwhelming desire to keep her for himself at all cost. It was selfish but it was true, he could not lie to her so he simply answers her question with the truth.

"Yes, I will not let you go no matter what. If your body dies then I will hold onto your soul and keep you safe, but I will never let you go."

Under the dimmed light of the Veilfire, Evelyn's face looks unreadable.

"Then what about you?" She asks, her fingers dig lightly into his collarbone. "If you die, what will happen to your soul?"

"I…" he is unsure of how to answer her. Solas does have plans in the case something happens to his body—with the nature of his soul, he can always find a host to stay and continue his work. He would be himself as long as his soul is intact but there will be a burden on the host for it. After all, a single body cannot handle two complete souls.

And yet, he has a selfish wish to remain with Evelyn…

"My Wolf, please do not lie to me." Above him, his love pleads, "Will you be able to stay with me?"

He cannot lie to her.

"If I die, as long as there is a living body willing to receive my soul, I will continue to remain on this plane," Solas replies, already knowing what Evelyn will say. But he has to add, "However, it could put great strains on my host if my soul is intact."

"Then if that happens, use me. We are soulmates, my body most likely will be more compatible with your soul than others. Let my flesh be your new home so that I can keep my promise with you." Her hold on him tightens, almost painful. "Don't leave me alone."

He wants to deny her request but the fear and despair in her voice prevent him to do so. And in the end, he is a horribly selfish man.

So, as he opens their bond to send his feeling to her, Solas holds Evelyn's face with one hand, looks straight into her eyes and says, "I promise. No matter where you are, I will always find you. No barrier of death, time, or space will prevent me from reuniting with you. This, I swear."

Droplets of hot tears land on his face, burning his skin. Yet, Evelyn is now smiling, her happiness brightens in his heart like a sun.

"Thank you, my Wolf." She kisses his palm and finally, she lays herself down beside him.

They hold onto each other, limbs entwine like roots and branches of two trees that grown together into a single one. Their link is fully open now, letting they feel as much as they can all the emotions running through one another.

Happiness, loneliness, satisfaction, craving, fear, reassurance—all feelings bleed and mix into each other. The heat from her body feel like a furnace, Solas cannot help but crave for more.

Their breaths mingle together—Solas could smell Evelyn's familiar teeth cleaning mixture of mint and salt. There is also the scent of the lavender and sage oil she used to cover up the smell of dragon blood.

He strokes her back, which is still cold from all the time she exposed it to the air until it warms up beneath his palm. Her soft feet rub against his calves in soothing up and down strokes.

Evelyn does not let her hands stay still. The one that lays between them is drawing random small patterns on his neck and the other is gliding slowly along his back, nails ever racking so slightly into his skin.

The winds are getting stronger outside but within this tent that covered in barrier spells, there is a peaceful silence that let him concentrate all his attention on her.

He feels and hears her heartbeats, so strong and steady in her breasts which are pressed tightly to his chest. It feels almost like her heart is beating to keep _him_ alive and not herself.

But then again, Solas _does_ feel most alive when he is with her, so it's only natural that he feels as such toward her heartbeats—it is the proof that Evelyn is still with him, physically.

Suddenly, he feels a surge of affection and love in his chest that pushes his heart to pulse a bit faster. It wasn't him, the elf concludes when he sees Evelyn smiles. Love and yearning shine in her eyes.

Oh, he forgot that with their bond being fully open like this, Evelyn can easily receive his emotions without actively straining herself like usual.

Solas reaches out to hook a lock of Evelyn's hair behind her ear. He used to hate her round ears because they reminded him that she is human, but now he loves them because they are a part of her. He loves the ways his fingers could easily trace them fully without having to move his palms from her cheeks. He loves the way they turn pink whenever she is embarrassed.

And he loves how he could make her moan by teasing them with his tongue and teeth.

The thought sends a wave of heat down his lower body. Solas tries to keep his breathing normal but suddenly, he feels Evelyn's lips under his jaw.

It is a kiss with a hint of teeth, but she doesn't bite right into his skin. Instead, Evelyn just lightly scratches him before sucking lightly at the spot, her nails stroking the side of his throat.

Solas exhales, arms tighten around Evelyn. She returns his gestures but when her arms wrap around him, her hands wandering teasingly around Solas's lower back, nails continue to rack into his skin and sending shivers down his spine.

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

It takes another long period until they finally loosen their hold on each other, but just enough so they have more space to breathe deeper and relax their muscles.

Still not pulling out, Solas turns both of them over to lay on their sides. He takes a long clear look at his beloved.

She is covered in a sheen of sweat, mouth slightly opened to catch more air, exhausted but satisfied. All the sadness and worries that haunted her before had disappeared, replaced by a grin so big it's almost ear-to-ear as her eyes twinkle.

Seeing her like this makes he feel so proud of himself, as if he just won a harsh battle.

"That was really intense," Evelyn comments before chuckling, hand caressing his jaw affectionately. "I didn't know I could last that long."

"Even if you couldn't, I have the skills to help you with that." Solas, tucking another lock of hair over Evelyn's ear.

"You definitely have the skills, no contest here," Evelyn agrees. "I can't believe we are actually sweating in the middle of a frozen place."

"Too hot? Maybe we should lie further apart?" He asks but feels a bit disappointed.

Evelyn shakes her head. "Just pull this off for a bit," his love replies, pushing their blanket down. Then, she scoots closer to press against him again, pulling his arms around her. "Now, hold me. I'm going to get cold again soon."

Solas's disappointment evaporates in a blink of an eye and he hugs Evelyn to himself. A tender feeling envelops his heart as he watches her eyes slowly close and her breath turns even—her smile still remains on her face. Only her could make his emotions turning up and down so quickly with him still welcomes them all with open arms as long as she remains by his side.

The elf thinks about the promise Evelyn had asked of him previously and realizes that from the beginning, there is no need for her to request such a thing. Because he is a greedy man, even if he denies it, in the end, he cannot let her go.

"… stay with you… promise…" Evelyn murmurs, mostly to herself in her half-asleep state but her words make his ache nonetheless.

Yes. No matter where Evelyn will be, he will always find her. No matter how long it would take, he will do anything to have her in his arms just like he is doing now.

That is what Solas thinks as he pulls the blanket over them once more before slipping into the Fade with Evelyn.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N **:** Even more backstory.

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

"Why're we making these fancy shites? Why not just make the normal ones?" Sera whines, hands flailing around and makes flour fly everywhere.

"Sera, they are going into your stomach, not some nobles," Evelyn says firmly before adding with a gentler tone, her hands continue rolling out the dough. "More importantly, you will love them, just trust me. I'm making these so that you can have a good memory before you leave. Do you not want it?"

Sera frowns, brows furrows before exhaling, "Ugh, fine. But we'll throw some of these at those big noses in the yard."

"Don't worry. I'll make a special batch with harder dough just for you to do that."

That makes Sera let out her signal laugh before nodding in approval. "Good!" She finally gets back to work on her dough on the table

Evelyn hides away her relief sigh and focuses again on her work on the kitchen table. Soon, her friends will go their own way so she is trying to spend more time with them despite her workload after Corypheus's defeat.

It was hard, and it _still_ is to do everything with her dear friends, knowing that one day, they will no longer see her as such. Sooner or later, her betrayal will come out but before that time, Evelyn secretly hopes that she could do something to help her friends to build a life outside of their connection to the Inquisition. Because, after all, once the Inquisition's reputation is destroyed by Evelyn and Solas, there will be nothing for her friends to fall back during hard times, and they will most likely refuse any direct help from her.

Trying to clear her mind and push away the negative thoughts, Evelyn switches her thoughts to what she had done with her other friends. She had spent a whole night drinking with Bull and Dorian, visited Val Royale with Vivienne, read with Cassandra, played cards with Varric, helped Cole around the fortress. And yesterday, she had made toys with Thom then helped him packing up for his trip with the Grey Wardens.

And now, she is making cookies with Sera and will throw some at Cullen's men later. All in all, Evelyn supposes she had managed to use well her time with her group before their departure.

However, she still has not found any idea for her time with Solas. He will soon leave for his fake death; the two of them will not be able to meet physically for years to come so Evelyn wants to leave him some good memory too. It is childish, considering the fact that they will still interact regularly in the Fade but still…

There is not much time for her to travel to other places or having gifts delivered from them to Skyhold, yet Evelyn is not sure if just a night of good food and sex will be enough either—at least to her. She knows very well Solas will love anything she gives him but for once, she wants to do something new, something unique for them as a couple; something that she could do with her current skill set…

xxXxx

Solas smiles in content as he listens to Evelyn singing Shalelan's lullaby. She is very focusing on her task of drawing him now but still relaxes enough to sing for him, and this quiet moment gives him times to observe his love as he sits on the bed across her couch.

She looks so young and innocent just like she always does in the Fade, but the knowledge that this is happening in the physical world gives him a strange satisfaction. It saddens him to know that once he has gone from Skyhold, Evelyn may not have many moments like this anymore during her waking hours.

She will be alone, even if his many agents will be around to help her, so he must double his efforts to support her from within the dream world.

His love had stopped her singing to put all of her focus into the drawing board she is holding. While she has some experience before in recording notes and murals during her traveling, Evelyn does not have much skill in drawing people and sceneries, so Solas has offered to teach her.

It was an offer Evelyn has gladly taken up so here they are—with him being the model while Evelyn, with her brows furrow, her lips pulse adorably is pouring all of her attention into her work. When a satisfy expression appears on her face, it prompts Solas to ask, "Have you finished it yet, vhenan? May I see it?"

Looking so proud of herself, Evelyn straightens up and turns the board around to show him her work.

He bursts out laughing upon seeing her depiction of him.

"Vhenan, my nose is not that big. My ears are not that long, nor do I have such a curved chin. And why do you have to add a shiny spot on my head?" He says between chuckles.

"You said that I should exaggerate some features when I draw!" Evelyn retorts, lips pouting. "And your head does reflecting light!"

"Exaggerate, not making your model into a completely different person." He laughs again before holding out his arms. "Come now, let me show you."

She huffs but still moves to sit in his lap, her back against his chest. Solas gives her kiss on her temper before taking hold of her right hand that is still holding the pen. His left arm curls around her stomach to pull her closer. Gently, he guides and shows her what parts should be drawn and how much force or changes she should apply.

It feels so peaceful—these mundane moments are the main source of his happiness. Evelyn's soft voice constantly asking questions, her sweet smell of magnolia envelops him and Solas quickly loses track of time.

Eventually, he hears Evelyn ask, "You like it that much?"

"Pardon? I like what?"

"My… bosom, I mean." A pink flush appears on her cheeks and it is only then that Solas realizes that _his left hand is fully holding her right breast._

Mortification, shame and disgust take over his mind in a flash as he exclaims, "I-I'm so sorry!" Solas tries to withdraw his hand as fast as possible but Evelyn quickly catches it and pulling it back to its original spot on her chest.

"I didn't say that I hate it…" she murmurs.

"That does not mean I have the right to treat you like that!" Solas protests and attempts to pull his hand away again but Evelyn still holds on tightly.

"Then I give you the right to do this to me because I like it!" She signs. "My Wolf, I had directly said "No" to you before whenever I don't feel like doing something with you—why do you suddenly think that I can't do so to such a simple thing like you touching me?"

"I…" Solas tightens his jaw, it was true that there were times when he had attempted to intimate with her and then happily stopped right away when she told him she just did not feel like it. But still, groping her like this…

Evelyn must have seen how conflicting he is feeling because she adds, "You know, I love it whenever you show clearly that you enjoy my body. I always crave moments like this." She emphasizes by pushing his hand harder again her breast. "Not to mention, it's not like you have ever done this to me in front of other people."

"Evelyn…"

"It is okay to enjoy yourself in private, you of all people know that very well. And I did promise you to always tell you what I like and don't like, didn't I?

Clenching his jaw, Solas mulls over her words before exhaling. "Very well. I understand. But still, I am sorry for doing this to you, vhenan. I should have asked you first."

"Oh, I am sure that you would, but I don't think you actually notice it in the first place, given your reaction." Evelyn giggles. "If I can take a guess, I think you have never done this before? With other women outside your bedroom activities, I mean?"

"No, I do not think so. Or else I would have already trained myself to never do such a thing years ago." Solas sighs again. "I think I only have this reaction with you."

Evelyn looks very proud, even smug at his confession. It is funny that she takes no pride in accomplishing nigh-impossible things such as killing a would-be god or being a leader of an enormous organization; and yet simply knowing that she has some influence on a man like him could make her so happy.

"Hmm, that is very good to know." Evelyn nods in approval before moving around so that she can sit astride of him while still remaining in his lap. "Is it because I'm… bigger than your normal female elves'?"

Clenching his jaw and swallowing his embarrassment, Solas nods. "Indeed. And I think it is also partly because yours reminds me of Shalelan's." He coughs.

"Oh… was she… your wet-nurse?"

"What? No! It was not like that," Solas quickly corrects, suddenly feeling so very awkward despite his age. "I was already looking old enough when I was born—perhaps around 7-8 in human years—so Shalelan was just a normal caretaker. But I was a frightened and clingy child so she had to sleep in the same bed with me and held me throughout the night for months. I still remember how… soft and comfortable she was."

Solas stopped to think for a bit before continuing, "And I also remember that her look attracted a lot of unwanted attention from the people in the village we lived too. Enough that she always had to wear a big cloak around herself whenever she went out. So I could guess that even by other people's standard, she was different… which did not help our status as outsiders."

Now that he thinks about it, what was it about Shalelan that was different? Aside from her very gifted body, he cannot remember anything about his caretaker that made her so stand out to the point that people kept whispering and avoiding her.

"You meant that you lived in a village with her alone, not with Mythal?" Evelyn suddenly asks.

"No. I was kidnapped along with my "siblings" very shortly after we were 'born'. Shalelan saved me, but because we were too far from my original home, the civil war was still going strong while the Crossroad has not yet completed, and I was too young and weak for such a long journey, she hid me away in a small village for a couple of years to raise me until I was more mature."

"Now that I think about it, 'Shalelan' sounds more like a title than a real name," Evelyn comments. "It means 'guardian' or 'sentinel', was she a servant of Mythal?"

"No." Solas sighs. "When I reunited with the All-Mother again, I asked the same question, but Mythal said that there was no one with that name and appearance. Whoever my caretaker was, she did not work for Mythal."

"You didn't try to find out more?"

"For a short time, I did." Solas's grip on Evelyn's waist tightens. "But then I became afraid whatever I might discover about Shalelan would destroy my image of her, so I stopped. She was dead, and I wanted to keep her forever as this beautiful memory in my head. Even if our time together was so short, she was my everything before I returned to Mythal. She was my teacher, my sister, you can even call her my mother, even if she always denied it."

"Didn't Mythal fulfill the same role to you?"

"She did, but she was also the Allmother who belonged to everyone and no one. I knew that Mythal loved me, but I also knew that she felt the same toward the other children and there were no favorites, at least during my childhood. With Shalelan, there were never any competition nor doubt from the beginning, I always knew I was the center of her attention and her highest priority. Shalelan was mine and mine alone."

Solas smiles in the bittersweet memories of his first caretaker. She was his world. He had loved her so much that losing her has actually caused him to resent her for a while. It was a grief that Mythal has spent a long time trying to sooth…

"During my youth, I kept looking for her in other women, but eventually I realized that it was time to let her soul rest," Solas murmurs between shaky breathes while looking down at Evelyn, "but perhaps I still could not really get over her after all, given my shameful behavior toward you."

It bothers him greatly that he could do such a thing to Evelyn, to see her as a replacement for Shalelan and touching her inappropriately. Their roles in his life are too different—Shalelan was his caretaker and teacher; while Evelyn was his student, now bondmate and partner. His soulmate deserves better than to be compared to a long-gone woman whose appearance he can't even remember. He knows Shalelan would want that, too.

Even Mythal, or correctly, the remains of her soul inside Flemeth, who he met up in the Fade sometimes ago has asked him to let go of the past and focus on the future.

" _I'm glad it is her. Your bondmate will always be with you, I am sure of it,"_ was what Mythal has said to him with a confident smile. It heartened him to know that even his old friend approves of Evelyn.

A warm, soft hand cups his cheek, yanking him from his thought to look at his beloved. Evelyn's eyes are filled with understanding as she looks at him. "It is all right, my Wolf. It's hard to let go of the past, and Shalelan was a very important person to you. There is no shame in admitting that you still can't let go, especially when you've tried so hard to realize it."

She presses her forehead against his, whispering, "Thank you for opening your heart to me."

Love and gratitude fill his heart, prompting him to lean forward to kiss Evelyn. It is a slow and sweet thing that somehow make his shoulders lighter.

When they let go, Evelyn giggles.

"What is on your mind?" Solas asks, smiling.

"I just can't believe we had all that serious and heartfelt talks because you groped me!" She takes his hand to press it between her breasts. "I did notice before how much attention you like to give to my chest, but I just thought that it's a part of our foreplay. To think you actually love it that much, it's so funny!"

Solas huffs through his nose. "I did not mean to have our night headed that way…" he mumbles to himself, avoiding her gaze.

"Indeed! But it was a good surprise. I'm very glad that we had this talk." Evelyn's smile changes, her hand guides his face back. "I'm very glad to know that you only have that kind of reaction with me and no one else."

Her voice turns husky. "I want you to look only at me."

She emphasizes the last part by stroking the back of his ears, her eyes glint and for the first time, Solas sees a possessiveness rising in her eyes. It makes something rise in his stomach, making his breath hitch and heart beat faster.

He does not have time to react to his newfound emotion because Evelyn quickly pushes him on his back. He finds himself looking up at her looming over him, her hands place at either side of his head.

"Will you look only at me?" she asks from above him and he has only one answer to her question.

xxXxx

Evelyn had asked Solas to come back early today which he gladly complies. Tomorrow, he will leave with his group and will not be returned to Skyhold anymore so he wants to spend as much time as he could with his bondmate.

It is a good thing that he had already finished all businesses in this fortress so he knows no one will bother them tonight. Not to mention Evelyn has given the same request to the servants, too.

Solas feels a great anticipation for what is waiting for him in their rooms. Evelyn said that she has something special for him, something that he will love. And even without the confidence in her eyes when she said that, he has no reason to doubt her.

Evelyn is there to greet him when he reaches the top of the stairs. Just like their first night months ago, she has changed into a simple dress with an apron.

"Welcome back, Solas. Are you tired? I've drawn a bath for you." Evelyn says, placing a light kiss on his lips.

"Is that my surprise?" he jokes with a smile.

"No. Your surprise will come later. Be patient now, my Wolf." She taps the tip of his nose before pushing him toward the bathroom's door.

When he comes out, Evelyn has already prepared their meal on the small table. It is a simple affair of light vegetarian soup, pies, and fruits but as always, everything is absolutely delicious. In fact, Solas has to silently lament the fact this will be the last time he gets to eat Evelyn's cooking in a long while.

After the meal, they spend time together like always, until Evelyn pulls him to the center of the room for a dance.

There is no music, but they don't need it anyway—the two of them just need to choose a song they both know and dance, it is just that simple. They enjoy themselves thoroughly even if there are missteps or wrong turns—it is perfect to them that way.

Evelyn laughs as he spins her around for the ending but when he pulls her back, she kisses him. Deep and longingly.

When she lets go of his lips, Evelyn whispers, "I think it is time for your surprise."

She leaves his embrace and walks to their bed. There, Evelyn pulls out a basket. She quickly spreads out a tower over the mattress and pillows before taking off her dress, leaving only her smallclothes on. She then waves her hands to light ups the few candles on top the drawer. The smell of herbs and flowers start to fill the room.

 _Oh!_

Solas's stomach flutters at the realization. It has been a very long time since the last time he allowed himself to enjoy this.

"Take off your clothes and lie on your stomach, please." Evelyn cheerfully says as she turns to Solas.

Trying to control his excitement, Solas start to do what she just asked, eyes flicking between Evelyn and the bed. "I did not know that you can perform massage."

"I just learned it from Bull. Dorian allowed us to use him as the test subject. And I did refuse Bull's offer to teach me how to kill a man by twisting his spine so don't worry, I can't kill you."

"You should have accepted his offer." Solas laughs, peeling off the last of his clothing. "It is a great skill to have. After seeing quite a few nobles being taken out by their masseurs, I actually had to dismiss my own and gave him another job. A pity…" He signs, quickly getting himself on the bed to lay his chin on the pillow.

He hears Evelyn's laugh and the sound of a cork being popped out, followed by some wet noises. The bed moves as Evelyn climbs on it to sit astride of him.

And then her hands are on his back. They are covered in oil, warmed from her preparation and heating magic. The heat seeps into his skin and Solas sighs as Evelyn starts to smooth the oil onto his entire back, arms and legs.

She works on him methodically, starting from his legs. She finds each and every knot in his muscles to knead and push until they loosen up. All the tiredness and aching he gathered the past few days simply crumble away under Evelyn's palms.

Her thumbs dig into his carves and smooth out all the tightness. As she gradually moves up, Solas wonders whether she would do something more… erotic given the fact that he is very much naked and these kinds of activities often have that conclusion.

But Evelyn does not do anything out of ordinary, she simply kneads his thighs and massages them just like his legs.

Perhaps he was too greedy. This is Evelyn's first time doing this, he should not expect her to do too much. Not to mention, it already feels so good—Solas concludes while exhaling again in relief when Evelyn discovers another knot in his lower back.

Moments pass and by the time she has finished with his back and arms, Solas feels like a poodle of water, completely melted away and tranquil. Well, aside from a certain part of his anatomy which has turn half-hardened instead, but it is just a natural part of this process. Either way, Solas has no doubt that by the time Evelyn finished with his front, he would have unable to do anything else but sleep.

But then, when Evelyn steps off his back, she stops him from turning around with a light touch on his neck. She whispers against his ear, "Don't look around." There is a hint of a smile in her voice.

There are some quick rustling sounds before he feels even more oil being applied on his back. When Evelyn rests back on his rear, Solas realizes that she has taken off her smalls. The realization causes his heartbeats to quicken.

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

Once Solas has become too oversensitive to her ministration, he gets up to catch Evelyn's wrist to pull her into an embrace and a kiss. His tongue seeking his own flavor inside her mouth. Love and appreciation overflow his heart.

"Good?" Evelyn asks.

"Magnificent," Solas replies, lying back on the pillow with Evelyn still in his arms. "It was absolutely magnificent, vhenan. It has been… well, I've never experienced something like that."

"You've lived this long, but never tried massage and… this?" she blushes, gesturing all over her chest.

"I did have erotic massage many times, but not that often with your other technique since, as you've already known, female elves are rarely that 'developed' compared to humans. And I've never tried them both at the same time." Solas hums before pressing a kiss on Evelyn's forehead. "Did you get that idea from our talk the other night?"

"Yes, I was so glad I could get a present for you before you go." Evelyn replies, finger drawing circles on his chest. "Had to run to find Bull the next morning and had him arrange his "class" right that evening. I tried to buy all of his massage oil supply too, but he gave them all to me for free." She chuckles at that last part.

"I suppose I must thank him before leaving then." Solas laughs before signing. "But now that you've spoilt me like this, how could I endure being away from you from now all? Why did you have to give something like this right before I leave?" he jokes.

"You know very well we can still do it in the Fade, do you not?" Evelyn replies, tapping his nose. Her smile then turns wicked. "Besides, to compensate for you, I did get enough oil for the rest of the night, if you are still up for it?"

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

Evelyn looks at him through tired eyes, but she smiles—a sweet, tender smile that makes his own lips curl up. Nuzzling into her hair, he gently strokes her back and realizes that they are still being covered in her massage oil.

"I suppose we will have to go wash up soon?" he asks.

"Hm, true, but let's wait for a bit. I can't move right now." She laughs. "And I want to remain like this just little more."

Lips lightly press together, Solas moves his hand to cup Evelyn's cheek, earning him another smile from her and a kiss to his palm. Love and joy fill up his heart.

Dawn will eventually come and separate them from each other within this physical world so before that, yes, let them stay like this for a bit more.

This warmth in his hand is the proof that he is alive and this world is real. This smile the reminder that he has something to live for other than his people.

Even if the path they have to walk after today will be swarmed with deaths, sorrows and betrayals, even if they will both carry guilt and endure losses, this moment here and every other time they were together will be a reminder of what they can have at the end of the path and more.

So, let them enjoy this so that they can always remember what they are fighting for in the days after this night.

"Ma nuvenin, vhenan. Let's stay together for a while more."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Lucky for me, no smut this chapter to edit, I can just post the whole thing!

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

* * *

Telahna knows when to keep silent. She survives that way—be quiet and don't fight with the other children, they won't bully you; keep your mouth shut and do what the Madame say, she won't starve you; don't talk and stay out of the way, so the human patrons won't hit you.

This brothel is a place of filth, sicknesses, and poverty, the food for the kid servants like her is barely enough, but it's still better than other areas in the alienage because humans do come here with money to pay.

As long as she stays here and keeps silent, she will be fed and have a roof on top of her head. There is no point to attract troubles, life is hard enough for an orphan like her already.

But now, looking at this ice-covered kitchen, Telahna knows that no amount of silence or obedience could stop the Templars from taking her away.

xxXxx

It's not bad to live in a Circle, Telahna thinks after a week has passed since she came to Ostwick—she has food to eat until she is full, her clothes are clean and warm, her bed is much better than the cold ground she had in that brothel, the mages here are friendly, even the human ones (races don't seem to be an issue here). She even makes a new friend, a human girl called Sena.

Best of all, she can learn to read and do magic. Even if it's heavily restricted, and the templars are always around, it's still a wonderful thing. Telahna especially loves to work in the apothecary.

Perhaps she can live here for the rest of her life without any troubles. After all, living in a tower isn't that much different than living in an enclosed alienage, right?

Three days later, she is proven wrong when a templar corners both her and Sena in an empty hallway.

"Well now, little Sena, why don't you introduce your new friend to me?" The templar smiles, but it's the kind of smile that makes you freeze in fear and unable to move—the smile of a predator.

It is near bedtime and not many people would wander around at this time. And this is a templar, someone who could actually kill her; he isn't just some drunken guests that she can just push back and runs away.

They are stuck.

She holds on to Sena tightly, her friend is shaking like a leaf, or perhaps it is Telahna who is trembling? She doesn't know, but she is scared. Non-existent noises fill her ear. Her mind is dizzy from fear and panic.

 _It's hard to breathe._

The man reaches out and grabs her shoulder.

 _Somebody! Anyone! Please!_

"There you are. I was looking for you two all over the place." A voice suddenly appears, making the templar whips around.

There, at the corner, is a girl around Telahna's age. Pale skin, dark brown hair, big blue eyes, the girl wouldn't look very standout if it isn't for the way she is looking at them—calm, emotionless, almost eerily.

"The senior mages are looking for you two. It is time for you to return to your bed," the girl says, not seem to care about the situation she found them in.

"Trevelyan…" the templar growls under his breath and for the first time, the strange girl looks directly at him.

No, it's more like she just stares at him, eyes unblinking like a cat.

The man grits his teeth as he stares down at the child called Trevelyan but eventually, he lets out a snarl before turning away.

Once the man has been out of sight, Telahna collapse on her knees, pulling Sena along with her. It is only then that tears start to flow out of her eyes and down her chin, her mind has become less dizzy, but the buzzing sounds are still there.

"Are you all right?"

Telahna quickly looks up to see their savior bending down, hand reaching out almost hesitantly. For the first time, the girl has an expression on her face—worry and something almost like… timidness?

" _I'm fine, thanks to you,"_ she wants to say that.

But before she could catch that hand, Sena slaps it away. "Don't touch us, you witch!"

"Sena, what—"

"Don't let her come near you, Telahna, or you still be cursed" Sena exclaims, pulling Telahna up. "Her bad luck must be why that templar targeted us."

Then she turns to Trevelyan and shouts, "Don't come near us anymore. If you want to find sacrifices for your soulmate, just choose the templars!"

Telahna doesn't have a chance to ask what is going on before she is yanked along with her friend. Helpless, and does not want to fight with Sena, she walks away from the Trevelyan, who just stands there watching them until they turn to another doorway.

The next day, she asks the older mages and apprentices about the strange girl with the name Trevelyan.

The moment that name comes out of her mouth, everyone looks like she just said some very bad words but an elf still comes forward to explain everything to her.

The girl's name is Evelyn Trevelyan, and she is the soulmate of Fen'Harel, the elvhen God of Lies and Betrayals.

xxXxx

Telahna cannot help but peek at Trevelyan whenever they are in the same room. It's been a month since that day but they have never exchanged any words to each other—it's too dangerous for her to do so. Everyone in this tower is scared of Trevelyan and her "curses", or at the very least, doesn't want to find out whether that's true or not.

Despite her curiosity and desire to approach Trevelyan, Telahna knows better than to go against the flow—it always ends in disaster. The ones who stand out invite nothing but troubles to themselves, and she prefers to stay on the good side of the majority.

Even so, even if she keeps telling herself to look away, she can't. Trevelyan has saved her, and that worrying expression, so different from the girl's usual stoic appearance, just won't leave her alone.

So now, Telahna will make a compromise—she will watch Trevelyan in secret until her curiosity is sated and disappear, but she will not approach the girl, not unless other mages do so.

This is for the best. Her curiosity will eventually stop, so there is no need to risk herself associating with an outcast like Trevelyan.

xxXxx

Trevelyan often appears when a mage is being harassed by a templar. Some say that it's because she causes their jailors to behave badly, but Telahna can see it—she appears because the mages need helps and the templars can't touch her.

Telahna has asked the mages with Dalish origin to tell her more about Fen'Harel. They told her stories about his treachery and cruelty, how he has betrayed the Creators of the elves and hurting innocent people for his own amusements.

At the end of the stories, they had warned her about going near Trevelyan and she is still following their advice. She doesn't actually know if their warnings have any real meaning in it other than superstition, but she knows not to question them.

She will be good—just focusing on growing her herbs, making the potions and helping in the infirmary, and there is no talking about Trevelyan with others.

It's a wise choice for someone like her.

xxXxx

Sometimes, she can find Trevelyan while she is reading alone in her own area within the library—just like right now. It's only here that the girl has any expression at all, and Telahna would stay as long as could, peeking through the shelves and books to observe her target.

There is always a great concentration on Trevelyan's face whenever she reads, whether it's from a book, a scroll, or some crumbling tablets of elvhen origin. Her emotions change too, sometimes she would smile; some other times, she frowns and her mouth curves downward. And very rarely, Trevelyan cries, there aren't any sounds, but tears would simply pour out from her eyes.

Currently, the girl is writing furiously into a scroll while her head bobbing back and forth between the books. Her eyes shine like the stars. A couple of times, Telahna has tried to read those documents after Trevelyan has left the room, but she couldn't understand a word in them.

What is that Trevelyan read in them that it interested her so much? What is she thinking about when she read these texts? What is that that she looking for?

Telahna wants to ask, but the thought of being associated with the cursed girl and having everyone else turning their backs to her is too scary for her to actually do anything.

So she remains behind the shelves and keeps watching.

xxXxx

 _The years passed so fast…_

She realizes that one day when she notices Evelyn talking to the First Enchanter about her upcoming Harrowing.

Evelyn… Telahna can't remember when was the exact time that she has switched to use it, but now she can't stop it. The name tastes so sweet on her tongue and yet she has never dared to say it directly to its owner.

Just like her, Evelyn has grown up and now Telahna cannot take her eyes off the girl anymore, despite her wish to do otherwise.

Telahna has grown so disillusioned with this life inside the tower. You can work and study as much as you want, but what's the point if someone else is going to benefit from it or just ignore it altogether? And for a mage with less talent like her, who barely passed her own Harrowing, there aren't many chances for her to improve her ranking and find a way to venture out of this place.

But Evelyn is different, with her talent, Telahna knows the girl will not only pass the Harrowing but rise to the rank of even First Enchanter. Perhaps, it is the reason Telahna is so enamored with her—she represents a chance of freedom, however small it will be, that Telahna will never have. Perhaps she isn't actually in love with Evelyn, because how can you love someone when you have not even talked to that person?

Even so, she truly wishes to know more about Evelyn…

xxXxx

When she hears the news that Evelyn has passed the Harrowing with only half the average time it should take, Telahna goes to the praying chamber and cries, silently thanking the Maker for sparing Evelyn's life.

Even though she knew Evelyn would pass, it's still an incredible relief to actually hear the announcement.

 _You are alive!_

xxXxx

They are all going to die!

The templars have gathered all the older mages and apprentices into the main dining hall. No one can use magic and with the templars pointing swords and arrows at them, there is only one possible conclusion.

But before the first arrow is released, Evelyn throws a flask of liquid that explodes when it contacts with a templar's chest.

The other mages take the chance to attack.

Everything after that is pure chaos.

xxXxx

She looks around the main yard for Evelyn. Where could she be? The last time Telahna saw her was in the dining hall.

 _The templars kept attacking the barrier she uses to block the door, there was no way she can keep this up. Her mana was nearly empty. And the other mages were fighting the remaining enemies in the room so no one could come to her now._

 _A templar ran at Telahna from the side while she is casting another protective layer. He was too fast, she would not block—_

 _A spear of ice suddenly appeared, impaling the man before he could bring down his sword on her. His blood splattered all over her front._

 _Telahna looked to the owner of the spell—Evelyn!_

" _Are you hurt?" her savior asked._

 _Too shocked to answer, she just shook her head._

" _Good. Take down your barrier. I will open the way for us." Evelyn commanded, her voice was much firmer than usual, but still held that calmness she always had._

 _Telahna did what she was asked and the moment the barrier is down, Evelyn threw a series of fire and lighting explosion at the enemies._

 _Before the smokes could even fade away, Evelyn weaved another spell that grows several icy spikes, cutting down any remaining foes._

 _Telahna didn't even have a chance to call after Evelyn as the girl ran away into the dark hall. All she could do was just standing there watching until her friends yanked her along with them._

Anxiety gnaws the inside of Telahna's stomach. Where did Evelyn go? Is she okay? Is she hurt—

A group of people coming out from the main entrance. Leading them is Evelyn, with several children around her and a few older mages and apprentices. They are all covered in blood and wounds.

The realization comes to Telahna as she watches Evelyn directing the children to the healers—her crush has a few cuts and bruises but she looks calm. Maybe she is all right, after all.

They stay to hear the new plans from the Harrowed mages but after a while, Evelyn leaves.

Telahna finds her in a small corner. Evelyn is sobbing between each cough, her shoulders visibly shaking.

Realization dawns on Telahna following by shame. Stupid, how could she possibly think that Evelyn would be okay after all of these? Maybe she could do something for her—

Sena and others are calling for her. Their voices can be heard from the distance.

She wants to stay with Evelyn but… but if she does that then she can't stay with her friends, and now is when they all need to stick together…

She glances one last time at Evelyn's back before turning around.

xxXxx

They are asking Evelyn to join them, and for the first time, Telahna feels hopeful. They are all so desperate now, even Rennard is asking, surely Evelyn would not say "no", she cares too much to do that.

 _Please say "yes", please. So that I can finally talk to you. You won't have to be alone anymore—_

"No. I will not go with you." Evelyn says and it feels like a knife has cut into Telahna's heart.

Why, why did she say so? _Why did you deny yourself this chance to be accepted?_

Meanwhile, her crush still continues, "As long as the templars can still smite and turn us Tranquil, this war of yours will bring nothing but deaths. You are able to push them back? As some points, they will try to attack you again. The people in this world _are_ afraid of magic because they don't understand it like we do nor do they want to, and there are more of them than us. Simply put it, this war is hopeless for us in the long run."

The crowd, upon hearing Evelyn's words, immediately turns angry and shouts at her, accusing her to be a traitor but she remains calm, almost sincere.

Eventually, Evelyn stands up, collects her bags and staff, and walks away.

She just keeps walking and never looks back.

And Telahna just stands there, with tears in her eyes, watching, but not running after the girl who has taken her heart.

xxXxx

 _How long do we have to go on like this?_

Telahna collapse against the wall. It's been years and there's still no changes for their situation—still fighting for their lives, still running away. The Conclave has been destroyed, along with any hope of solving this war.

She has tried to survive through all these. She's learned to more attack magic to help with her fighting when she doesn't help with healing people, but she's only one person, and this war is killing so many of them each day. No matter how many people she tries to heal and how many templars she kills, it never stops.

She is so tired. Tired of killing. Tired of not being able to save her comrades. Tired of this war.

Evelyn… where is she now? Did she know this will happen? Will they ever meet again? All the questions and "what ifs" has been tormenting Telahna each day ever since Evelyn left and she doesn't know if there will ever be an answer for them.

"I want to see you…" She sobs into her arms as the sun continues to go down. First Enchanter Fiona said some magisters had contacted her with an offer, but Telahna doesn't have any hope for it.

xxXxx

Telahna looks at Redcliffe for one last time before walking into the night.

In the end, she runs away, abandoning her friends, abandoning Sena, even abandoning the thoughts of ever finding Evelyn again.

Maybe she just wants to die somewhere far away.

No.

She is just a coward that thinks only for herself.

xxXxx

She hears the people in the clan talking about the Inquisition, how another Dalish clan has agreed to be their ally, how the Inquisitor accepts everyone from all background and treats them equally—humans, dwarves, Dalish, city elves, mages, and the likes.

She also hears about all the incredible tales and dangers the Inquisition has faced and conquered. From closing the Breach to losing Haven to an ancient magister to fighting the rogued Grey Wardens, each tale is grander and unreliable than the last.

But most worry of all, everyone is now talking about the rumor that Inquisitor Trevelyan is the soulmate of one of their gods, Fen'Harel.

Needless to say, elves, or at least the ones of this Dalish clan she is staying with, are very interested in this "rumor". Some of them may just disregard as human gossips but most think that there are some truths to it and want to know more. Telahna also heard that the alienages in Orlais had been attacked for showing supports to this news.

 _Will Evelyn be okay? I want to go and see her, I want to see Sena and the others too… but I'm a deserter, what right do I have to come back? But if I stay here—_

"You look very torn. Still can't decide?" A voice suddenly appears behinds Telahna, making her jump a bit. Turning around, she sees Itha, the clan's Keeper, strolling toward her with his usual, relaxing smile.

Months after her first meeting with him and Telahna still find the man to be… quite very unusual, to say the least. He is very young for a keeper, only in his mid-twenties or so—Telahna has always thought a Hahren has to be old but apparently, she was wrong. But then again, being young is just the least eccentric thing about Itha.

"I-I just don't know what to do. I can go to Inquisition but my friends there, I don't know if they will accept me back. And there is someone…" She swallows before continuing, "There is someone I care very much but… I've abandoned her twice before, even after she had saved me many times. Maker helps me, she saved all of my friends and yet I still didn't have the guts to stand up for her. What right do I have to come and see her?"

Itha hums thoughtfully for a bit before looking straight at her, he asks, "You want to go there to help? Or do you want to go there to just see your loved ones?"

"… I want to do both."

"Which one is more important?"

Telahna presses her lips together, mulling over his question before answering, "I want to help. I didn't do enough before and then I ran away. I want to right my wrong and do something other than hiding."

Itha smiles. "Then go, even if your friends reject you, you still have something to fight for, right? I don't think the Inquisition would deny your request to join just because your friends don't want you anymore."

"True… but, I'm still very afraid. I've always lived with everyone, I'm not sure if I could live with being all alone…"

"Ah, but aren't you 'alone' right now? I think you are doing quite well. Besides, you said that you're 'not sure', and how can you be sure of something until you've tried it out?"

"That… makes sense, actually."

"Of course. And tell you what, if both your friends and the Inquisition don't want you, then you can come back here and live with us, we can always have another healer."

Perhaps he was just saying that to comfort her and has no intention to follow through with the offer in the future, but the kind words from Itha still makes tears gathering at the corners of her eyes and yet her lips still curl up.

"You are so strange, Hahren. Most Dalish would be wary of a flat-ear like me, especially when I'm a mage, but you're just so… different," she says between each wipe against her eyes.

"I learned years ago that you can't just judge people because of what they were born into. I think so far, my life has been going quite well because of it." Itha laughs.

xxXxx

 _The Maker must love to play with me…_

Telahna thinks as she watches Evelyn answering the questions from the other prisoners.

Her journey to the Inquisition's headquarter had gone quite smoothly in the beginning that she had thought that perhaps, for once, things would go her way. But a week ago, she was ambushed in the middle of the night and was taken here.

Apparently, because she is a mage, a high-quality good so the cultists here won't kill her right away but save her for the more important ritual. Telahna had tried to fight back but these blighted shackles simply suck out all of her strength so she had no choice but to wait for her death, giving up all hope of seeing Evelyn or Sena again.

Until the cultists brought in Evelyn…

And now, after a whole "talk" with the female magister called Regina, Evelyn is being flooded with questions from the other elves so Telahna has decided to just keep silent and observe instead—as much as she wants it, there is no need for her to make Evelyn more uncomfortable than she is right now.

Evelyn has changed quite a bit, Telahna realizes.

Her crush is still small and pale (but no less lovely), but there is something about her body, her posture that seems more… stronger, more confident.

She talks more—of course, given the situation she is in—and the way she expresses herself is that from someone with authority and ways with words.

But what has changed the most is her eyes. Evelyn's eyes still have the same blue as before, but they are brighter. They are more alive, more driven with a stronger purpose than even the look Telahna has seen on her crush's face whenever she was studying years ago.

Evelyn is now talking about the supposedly good deeds that Fen'Harel has done and there is something in her voice that makes Telahna pause.

It isn't a voice or emotion one would use to talk about a god—there is no awe or reverence. Instead, there is pride and joy, and her face shows the expression of someone who is talking about a loved one's achievement, something personal and dear.

Then when someone asks what it feels like to be favored by her god, Evelyn explodes and it simply confirms everything to Telahna.

Her beloved Evelyn is in love with someone else. Someone strong and powerful and brave. Someone who is destined to be with her. Evelyn is deeply in love with this go—this person, and it shows.

It hurts, but Telahna cannot take her eyes off Evelyn as the latter talks about her lover. She is glowing with happiness and affection even if they are dampened a bit by the situation they are in— her face shows all kind of emotions that the elf had never once seen them appearing throughout the years they lived in that tower.

Evelyn is smiling, and even if it hurts, Telahna knows that she wants that smile to last forever.

xxXxx

They all have escaped.

Telahna doesn't know if Evelyn is safe but she won't stop running or turning back to check.

Evelyn and everyone else has done everything to let them out and Telahna would be dead before she let herself waste their hard work.

xxXxx

Sena comes to her on Telahna's second day in the infirmary. Her best friend looks much healthier than before despite a few scars on her face. But more importantly, she looks _furious_.

Just as she expected, Sena greets her with a slap to the face but unexpectedly, it is followed by a hug, tight and overwhelming.

"You idiot. You fucking idiot!" Sena sobs into her shoulder, and Telahna has to agree.

They talk quite a bit until the healer decides it's time to kick Sena out.

Sena comes back the next days, with several more of their friends. Many more refuse to see her but this is already more than what she's expected.

Telahna starts to help around the infirmary and then the herb garden afterward. She also assists the senior mages around the tower too.

xxXxx

Evelyn has wakened up from her coma and apparently, it was all thank to her best friend and mentor Solas, an apostate who is an expert about the Fade.

Telahna initial didn't think much about Solas, she only cared about the fact that Evelyn has finally recovered, alive!

But now looking at Solas, who just finished introducing himself as an agent of Fen'Harel, she mental kicks herself for not paying more attention.

 _Of course, someone who is that close to Evelyn wouldn't be just a simply apostate!_

But no matter who he is, the man is offering them a chance to do something different about the state of the world.

She can still remember vividly what Evelyn has told them about the wonders the old Elvhenan had and what they can have if magic fully integrates into this world again. Even if Telahna identifies herself more as a mage than an elf and has very little knowledge of the ancient elven empire, what Evelyn described that day was still resonant strongly in her.

A land where mages can be free. There will be no slaves, no templars, no towers that built just to lock up children who have no choice of what they were born as.

Telahna is still a coward but even a coward can do something with enough motivation.

She can do something.

First, she needs to say "yes" to Solas's offer.

xxXxx

The entire fortress is talking about the dramatical revelation of the love between the Inquisitor and her Fade expert.

Everyone—men and women, elves and humans and dwarves, nobles, soldiers, servants, officers—they all talk about it.

Those working for Fen'Harel, now including Telahna, also talk about it, but their version of the event is a little bit different.

Apparently, Lord Fen'Harel trusts Solas enough to let him pretend to be Evelyn's lover so that she could dispel the "rumor" that she has contacts with Fen'Harel himself.

Among the agents, the main topics are about just how high-ranked Solas actually is to be tasked with such an important and sensitive mission… and just how far Evelyn and Solas are willing to do to keep up their charade as lovers.

Some agents think that maybe Lord Fen'Harel cares more about his bondmate's safety than being jealous so Solas is probably allowed to do more than just pretend.

Some others joke that after everything ends, Solas will be sent to a faraway job and never to be seen with the Herald again. Or worse.

Telahna? She is so furious right now, especially when she can see Solas down the hall, with his arms full of belongings he is bringing to Evelyn's chambers.

It's stupid, she knows. Evelyn has already shown how deep her love for Fen'Harel go and Telahna has accepted it. And maybe she has come to accept Evelyn being with Fen'Harel so much that seeing her crush with anyone else just feel extremely wrong to Telahna.

Or Perhaps she is just mad that people had pushed Evelyn to the point that her crush has to resort to this kind of plan to protect herself.

Or perhaps she is just jealous, knowing that there is physically a man whom Evelyn trusts so much to allow him to touch and share a room with her, playing lovers with her. Knowing that it's all fake doesn't make it feel any better.

Either way, before she knows it, Telahna has already pointed a finger to Solas's face, threatening him to not touch Evelyn more than necessary.

She runs away before the man could say anything to her.

Telahna spends the rest of the night kicking herself.

 _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Great start to prove yourself to your employer!_

xxXxx

Telahna looks from her spot on the third floor of the library down to where Evelyn is sitting with Solas on his couch.

Well, it's actually Solas laying his head in Evelyn's lap, looking more relax and at ease than any other time anyone else has seen him. Meanwhile, Evelyn is smiling mischievously, finger poking at Solas's cheek while dodging his swatting hand.

Even when the library is nearly empty now that the sun has set and most people had gone away for their meal, the two of them still commit to keeping up this charade.

Maybe they can easily do that because they are best friends. Telahna has seen how they work together when there are projects that that needed the Circle mages and both of them.

She can also see the way Evelyn being much more at ease whenever Solas is around, too. Even other people can see it, even if the Inquisitor still being her extreme-professional self as ever. Most people don't even mention about the Dread Wolf anymore as they all have been convinced that Evelyn wants nothing to do with him.

Speaking of Fen'Harel, Telahna needs to find a way to start her "conversation" with Sena soon. More Circle mages are being persuaded to Evelyn's and her soulmate's side but it's still a very slow progress. Each agent within Skyhold has to go through several permissions and checks before they are allowed to approach a new potential ally and convert that person—it took Telahna months to confirm that Sena can be convinced to switch side but now she needs to figure out how to actually do that.

xxXxx

Telahna can't still believe she is actually here, in the Headquarter of the Dread Wolf!

It feels like a dream—the months she and the other agents spent preparing to leave Skyhold permanently with Solas—even as she is seeing the ancient elvhen-styled walls that permeating magic. She is still not sure what is it about herself that has gotten her to be chosen to go with Solas but no matter what, she will do her best here!

What's more? They all have been called to present themselves before Fen'Harel himself!

Her heart is beating wildly in her chest and she's sure everyone else is also feeling very nervous. They all know Fen'Harel isn't a god—it was the first thing Evelyn and other senior members beat into them when they first joined—but it cannot be denied that the Dread Wolf isn't your normal elvhen mage either.

He came from an age where would-be gods still wandered the Earth. Maker's breath, he was one of them! Not a god, but very close, and he is the one who will lead them all to a new world that they all dream about.

Vaguely, Telahna wonders about Solas. Now that she thinks about it, just where is he anyway? Upon arriving at this place a day ago, the elf has disappeared right away. Maybe he had some important report to give first—

"Lord Fen'Harel is waiting for you all," an elf in rogue armor announce as he opens the door.

Pushing the thought about Solas to aside, Telahna takes a deep breath and steps forward together with others.

They walk into a large hall where, at the end of it, an elven man is standing on the dais with his back to them.

They can't see his face, but even with his simply clothing, his dignify aura and posture leaves no doubt about who he is.

Their group walks a little closer to the dais, and Fen'Harel turns around to show his face to them and—

SOLAS?

Is this a dream? Telahna discreetly pinches the side of her thigh. It hurts so no, not a dream. And judging by the gasping sounds coming from others, they definitely don't believe their eyes right now, just like her.

"Greeting, I, Fen'Harel, welcome you, brothers and sisters who have volunteered to join this fight of ours for a new world," Solas speaks up and there is no doubt that it is him and not just a doubleganger anymore. But there is something in his voice that is quite different from before.

"You all have been chosen to follow me to leave Skyhold because each of you has an ability to build the foundation of our plan." Solas—no, Fen'Harel continues after letting them all calm down a bit. "Each of you shall receive a specific task to follow. Some of you will be sent to other regions but most will stay here to contribute to research efforts."

As the Dread Wolf speaks, all the pieces start to arrange themselves in Telahna's head. Everything just makes so much sense now, and suddenly, she finds it so ridiculous that no one has ever thought about it—Evelyn easily accepted Solas to be her lover, all the extra efforts they put out to fake their relationship even when there weren't many people to see them… Those scenes and their interactions with each other were never fake in the first place because Solas is Fen'Harel and he has been staying by Evelyn's side this whole time!

Still a little dizzy from the sudden revelation, Telahna vaguely wonders if the reason other people just couldn't make a connection between Solas and Fen'Harel was because everything was so simple to the point of absurd. And maybe they were all thinking that such a figurehead like "Fen'Harel" wouldn't actually mingle between them, overseeing everything on his own.

"As you are already known, my bondmate Evelyn is working within the Inquisition together with your comrades there, doing their best to protect and support us." The name "Evelyn" pulls Telahna out of her thought to pay attention to reality again.

Before them, their leader is still talking, "So, I hope that you will all remember that your works here will not be just for you, it shall be also for the sake of someone else dear to you, for a future that you all hope for and deserve to live in. The path might still be very long but there, no doubt, is hope at the end."

For a fleeting moment, Telahna can see a sadness flashes over his eyes and understanding dawns on her—Solas isn't just talking about them, he is reminding himself that this war to come is not only for the future of elves and mages but also for Evelyn, too.

Empathy resonants through her; she understands how Fen'Harel is feeling now, having to stay away from the one you love while preparing for a great war. Telahna still remembers how Evelyn has emphasized that despite all of his incredible deeds, the Dread Wolf is still very much a man with his own troubles and emotions.

 _It's must be hard for him to leave Evelyn behind like that. I must do my best to support him from now—_

The touching moment within Telahna's head snaps into dust when she suddenly remembered what she had done months ago—she had threatened Solas, who is Fen'Harel, who is Evelyn's bondmate, _and who is her highest superior_. She had pointed her finger right into his face and demand him to not touch his wife!

Sweat starts to gather on her forehead and Telahna has to try her best to keep her knees from clanking against each other.

She is dead. She is so dead. Andraste has mercy on her but Telahna is going to pay for all the stupid things she had done!

But she can't run away now. She's done a stupid thing so before dying, Telahna should at least has the chance to own up to it.

She waits for everyone to receive their own instruction and had all left, leaving only herself in the room with So—Fen'Harel. He looks at her, a little puzzled but before he could open his mouth to ask, Telahna collapses onto her knees and bow deeply.

"Please forgive my insolence, my Lord!" Telahna exclaims, not daring to look up.

"For what?"

Telahna looks up to see Fen'Harel smirking at her. He remembers but is testing her! She is fucked!

"I-I threatened you, my Lord!" She blurts out honestly. "I had the nerve to ask you not to touch your bondmate. Even if back then I didn't know you are Fen'Harel, I st-still committed insubordination against my superior."

"Is that so?" Goddamnit, but she can hear the laughing in his voice.

"Y-yes, and I will gladly accept any punishment you have for me, my Lord!" She is shaking like a leaf now.

But suddenly, she hears an audible chuckle above her. He sounds extremely amused, but there's no malice.

Looking up, Telahna finds Fen'Harel looking down to her with surprisingly kind eyes.

"Be at peace now, Telahna, I cannot punish you for something like that," he says.

"But I disrespected you!" She stutters.

"Out your concern for my Evelyn." Fen'Harel shakes his head, his eyes turn even softer at the mention of Evelyn. "I had received far worse threats from my enemies, what makes you think I would pay much attention to yours? Especially when you did it because you cared for my bondmate. To be honest, I was glad to see that there are at least one of the People who care for my bondmate despite her being human."

"I…" she can't just say that "It's because I'm in love with your wife!" since that would probably end with her being literally set on fire, so instead, she just replies, "She saved me, my Lord, but that's still no ex—"

Face turns serious, he cuts her off, "What's done is done, let just leave that little event behind and focus on the future, shall we?"

"I—Yes, Lord Fen'Harel." She is not going to look this gifted horse in the mouth!

"Good. As we have discussed before, your job from now on will be researching and developing the herb farms for potion making. I will open a section of the seed vault for you, so go there with your teammates. You are dismissed."

Telahna quickly stands up, bowing to Fen'Harel again and basically runs as fast as she can out of the room.

Even if he has forgiven her, she decides it is best to just put all her energy into her works and avoid him for at least the next few months or so just to be sure.

xxXxx

Later, she learns from others that Solas is indeed the Dread Wolf's real name but just like her, everyone only uses the name "Fen'Harel" due to many reasons.

Telahna has an inkling that only Evelyn calls him by his true name. And somehow, that actually makes her feel… happy.

xxXxx

Lord Fen'Harel has gone away this morning, dressed in armor, but a few minutes ago, the mages in the healing room have received an order to wait by the Eluvian for his return. They had also been told to having everything ready to treat wounds.

 _Just what's happening? It was an urgent order, did something bad happen?_

Telahna keeps switching her weight between her legs, the butterflies in her stomach just won't go away.

This is the first time the whole team has to gather right at the gate like this. Before, whenever something happened, they just need to wait in their infirmary for the patient to be carried in. But this… this is different.

The large mirror glows before simmering, signaling someone is walking through it. Everyone straightens up and watches as Fen'Harel walks out of the gateway, and in his arms is… Evelyn? And she is covered in blood!

Before she knows it, Telahna has already at Evelyn's side, performing a scanning spell on her. She ignores the gasping and whispering sounds everyone else is making.

Missing left arm. Heavy blood loss but has been stopped. Residues of the Fade magic running through her. She's sleeping but they still need to work on her fast to ensure nothing bad will happen later.

Fen'Harel quickly kneels down to place Evelyn and immediately, the rest of the healers surround them, taking off Evelyn's bandages while pouring potions and magic on the young woman.

Since her bondmate has already done a good job of taking care of her wound, it only takes a few minutes for them to all decide that Evelyn only needs to rest now.

As the Dread Wolf carries his bondmate away, Telahna chases after him, trying to catch up with his fast pace.

"Lord Fen'Harel, just what happened to her Worships? Why is she like that? Who did this to her?" Telahna asks, trying to be polite but fails as her voice keeps rising in panic.

"Why didn't you protect her? You are her husband, it's your job!" is what she wants to say, too, but luckily, Telahna still has enough control in herself not to do that.

Then, her employer suddenly stops. "It was I who did it," he says, voice so small it's barely a whisper.

"What?"

He turns around to her. "It was I who cut her arm," Fen'Harel repeats and Telahna simply can't find anything to say or react to his confession when she sees his face.

It is full of rage and self-loathing and regret—the face of someone who thinks he had done something unforgivable. There's no point for her to lashing out at him when he's already torturing himself over it.

Fen'Harel gives her one last look before disappearing with Evelyn behind the door leading into his chamber.

She doesn't follow him, just standing there staring at the door for a long while.

xxXxx

It's been three days but Evelyn is still sleeping. Three days ever since Fen'Harel decided to stay in with her in his room and not coming out. He does all of his works, meals and even his talking with the agents just in this room.

Healers like Telahna only come in to give him supplies and being assistants since Fen'Harel has completely taken over the duty of caring for Evelyn.

Telahna is mixing some salves when she hears a small but soft gasp of a feminine voice, following by a whispering of "Vhenan" from Fen'Harel.

Immediately turning around, she can see Evelyn with her eyes open tiredly, but the young woman looks awake enough. And all of her attention is on her bondmate.

"S…olas…" Evelyn's voice is hoarse. Reflexively, Telahna quickly pour water into a cup before handing it to Fen'Harel,

After a few moments, Evelyn has finally regained enough of her voice to whisper small words of love and comfort to her husband as he holds her tight against him.

Smiling in relief while trying to hide away her tears, Telahna leaves the room, knowing that she should tell everyone else not to bother the couple for at least the rest of the day.

xxXxx

After Evelyn has wakened up, people in this place start to gossip even more. Turns out, there're some people still don't actually believe their Lord has a human bondmate despite the fact that the agents who know Evelyn often talk about her, and there are many humans working here already.

There have even been some arguments between those who support Evelyn and people who have doubts about her, nothing violence and the latter group is in the minority but it still makes Telahna feel sad for Evelyn—after the whole fiasco about people wanting to know if she is Fen'Harel's soulmate or not, Evelyn now will have to prove that she deserves to be with him instead.

But Telahna isn't actually worried about whether Evelyn will succeed or not, simply because she knows for sure Evelyn can prove herself just fine given enough time. She is more concerned about Evelyn driving herself to the ground from overworking. Everyone who was in the Inquisition knows just how much of a workaholic their leader is.

Case in point, today is just the fifth day after Evelyn first woke up and she's already working. Lord Fen'Harel has even had his office rearranged to accommodate another desk and several more shelves for his bondmate,

Evelyn is talking to a couple of agents, her hand holding a thick stash of paper.

"So the extraction was a success?" Evelyn asks.

"Yes, my Lady," an agent answers. "All the slaves we deemed safe to be taken out of the Magisters' houses had all left Miranthous. Shall we repeat the process again, this time with a bigger number?"

"No, we should let the capital alone for a bit. Too many activities will alert the slave owners." Evelyn shakes her head. "Instead, let's aim for slaves in the smaller cities next, but not the villages. Big enough to hide in plain sight but small enough to not attract attention. For the Capital…"

She turns to another spy, handing out a scroll. "These are information we got from the rescue slaves from the Capital regarding the Imperium's fleet, find a way to give it to the Qunari. That will make the Magisters think it's them who took the slaves. If we're lucky, it will distract both sides long enough for us to do more."

Then, Evelyn reaches for another scroll. "For the rations, buy them from the guilds with the money from the Inquisition, make sure to use the right names so they won't track back to us. People are preparing for my funeral so they won't notice there are more golds coming out of the vault than it should be. But please remember to also send money to the lower ranks and servants there, they will need it once the Inquisition is disbanded."

"My Lady, we need to buy crops too?" Another agent asks after taking a look at the scroll. "Shouldn't we just need to buy the processed grains? We have enough gold for that."

"True, but we can always add more food by growing our owns in addition to buying," explains Evelyn. "Not to mention, we can only buy food from outside sources for now. Once we show ourselves to the world, no one will dare to sell us things anymore, except for maybe the dwarves. It will also be good practices since most of our people, elves and mages alike don't have much experience with large scaled farming anyway, and we won't have much time to do so once our war starts. I will prepare a list…"

If Telahna isn't seeing clearly the state of Evelyn's appearance—still missing an arm, hair down, dressed in a loose dress and a shawl—she wouldn't believe that the scene she witnessed last week was real

 _She obviously isn't well enough to properly dress herself and yet she's already working. It's just like two years ago._

Evelyn soon dismisses the agents before turning to Telahna, smiling. "Hello, it's nice to see you again."

"It's an honor, my Lady." Telahna quickly bows, feeling so flushed upon realizing that this is _the first time they actually talk normally and Evelyn is smiling at her._ "I heard that you have a mission for me."

"Indeed. Solas has given me access to the inner library and I think we can do something about it." Evelyn hands out a list of potion recipes. "I know that you have an extensive experience with both potions and herbs, this mission will involve developing them from the start with magic. I think you're quite suitable for it."

They talk for a while about more about the project before Telahna finally asks the question she's been wondering all these times, "Milady, why did you recommend me to be one of the first to join Lord Fen'Harel? And now you let me handle this, I…"

Evelyn just replies in a kind voice, "Because I know you have more experience with this kind of things. Your section in the Ostwick garden used to yield more thrice times the amount and your healing potions are always more effective than any of us. They tasted much better, too."

Evelyn chuckles at the last part but Telahna doesn't have much mind to pay attention to that, her brain is still focusing on what her leader just said. After a few seconds, she manages to stutter out, "Y-you remember me at the Circle?"

Evelyn just replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world, "Of course, how could I not? You were quite impressive back then— friendly, hardworking, always try to cooperate with everyone. I think most of the people from our tower would agree so, they all love you."

Joy soars up in Telahna's chest, it feels like she is going to burst out from happiness.

 _She remembers me! Evelyn remembers me!_

Oblivious to Telahna's feeling, Evelyn adds, lips still curling up but they are somewhat strained, "I was… quite envy of you back then. I wished I could be more like you…"

 _No, you are wrong. I've nothing that you should want to be._

But Telahna isn't sure what she should actually say. Seeing Evelyn's expression like that, realizing that all the hurts and sadness back are still haunting her, she just doesn't know what could be said without tearing open the old wounds. And Telahna can't just make this all to be about herself—

Suddenly, the door opens and Fen'Harel walks in.

"Vhenan, what did I say about overworking yourself? Did I not tell you to be here for only two hours?" His brows furrow as he speaks, but his mouth still curves into a fond grin.

Meanwhile, even if she is receiving a scolding, Evelyn's emotions immediately change upon seeing her bondmate. Her lips stretch into the same smile that Telahna had seen so many times before whenever she is with him—glowing with happiness, eyes twinkle like the stars, an open expression without any guarding. Evelyn quickly stands up as her lover approaches, letting him wrap his arms around her.

And then, Telahna knows.

Things like "I love you," or "I've always been watching you," or "I'm sorry for never standing up for you," are all useless here.

Why should she burden Evelyn with these kinds of knowledge when the most important thing has already been archived? Evelyn is happy with someone who can care for her, and it is all that matter to Telahna. There's no point in mentioning the past, let it be buried so that they can all look forward to the future.

Before her, Evelyn and Fen'Harel are still talking with each other, throwing playful retorts back and forth in a familiar game between them. Smiling at the scene, Telahna speaks up, "My Lady?"

"Y-yes?" Evelyn blushes, obviously embarrassed that she acted unprofessionally in the presence of an agent.

But Telahna just ignores that, instead, she smiles confidently at her superior before saying, "I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For the Tower, for the Red Scales, and for giving me this chance. I will do my best and won't let you down"

At her words, Evelyn nods, the corners of her mouth just curl up ever so slightly but there is something in her gaze that makes Telahna want to tremble. Something like trust and confidence.

Take a deep breath, she bows before the couple, saying, "Please excuse me now. I must go preparing for my duty right away."

And then Telahna leaves. From behind her back, she could hear Fen'Harel asking Evelyn if she is ready to test her new prosthetic, which Evelyn replies immediately with an enthusiastic "yes".

When she turns around to close the doors, the last thing she sees in the room is Evelyn and Fen'Harel, wrapping their arms around each other, lost in a world that exists only for the two of them.

With the image in mind, she walks away, lighter than ever, and yet feeling a strong sense of purpose in each step she takes.

There is so many new things to do, so many new things to prepare. And she now has a new prayer to the Maker, too. Something not for herself, but for someone else.

 _May your smile last forever, my dearest Evelyn._


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for disappearing for a whole month. Work is killing me even when all I do is learning and being trained by others.

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

* * *

Lying still on the table, Evelyn observes Solas's face as he works on the prosthetic he just attached to the remaining of her left arm. Her bondmate is so focused that even his breaths seem to follow a certain pattern to maximize his efficiency and time. His fingers wave delicate runes that engraved themselves into her skin and veins. The glowing symbols run along her arms, pass her shoulder and through her whole body, leaving a tingling sensation inside her very bones that make Evelyn want to fidget.

She dares not to move her arm—Solas did tell her to stay still—instead, she just wiggles her toes and trying in vain to distract herself with something.

Solas suddenly chuckles above her, he stops his work to reach out and strokes her cheek.

"Vhenan, it is all right to move a little bit," he says affectionately. "Or do you want to get all stiff after this?"

"You said that I should stay still."

"I said that you should not move too much, not that you should keep yourself completely immobilize like a statue." Solas leans over to press a kiss on her lips. "I know you are nervous, but it will be okay. Everything is going well so just a little more."

Evelyn nods, trying to ignore the stare of the two elven maids in the room and focus on the reports she read this morning.

The disbanding of the Inquisition has left the Circle mages in a state of panic since the Chantry still insists to "protect" them with towers and Templars, a majority of them has locked themselves in Skyhold and the other Inquisition's keeps, fearing that without the Inquisitor the templars will start to hunt them again if they come out. It does not help that the news about Fen'Harel is now spreading all over Thedas, making the Chantry even more paranoid.

With Evelyn's "death", her friends and people in the Inquisition will focus on Fen'Harel and elves' movements around Thedas while neglecting to check the mages—and Solas has made sure that it will stay that way for a while more—so in the next several months, Evelyn's followers will have to push for mass recruitment to move the mages to their side completely.

But on a more personal note, Evelyn has learned a curious thing among the reports. Apparently, her parents had attended her 'funeral', which is incredibly strange because, during her entire time as the Inquisitor, they had never made any attempt to contact her despite all the benefits they could gain for the family.

But then again, it's not like she actually ever understands them before. During her years in Ostwick, Evelyn had fully prepared herself to be killed one day when her parents could not handle her demands for golds and research resources anymore. But her death has never come, the Templars still dared not to touch her, and her requests continued to be fulfilled without fail.

Yet she knows what she saw and heard that night so long ago was not a dream—her parents really did order to have three of her cousins to be disposed of because they were bringing shame to the family's name. Having a mage daughter being destined for a heretic god was shameful enough, but when said daughter clearly wanted to learn more about 'her god', it should have warranted her death sentence long ago and—

A spark of magic flares yanks Evelyn from her thoughts. Her beloved has finally leaned away from his work.

"There." He smirks in triumph and pulls her up. "Now, vhenan, can you try moving your arm for me?" Solas requests.

It is only then that Evelyn notices that she could actually feel something from her left arm instead of just the phantom sensation that plagued her this whole month. She looks down to her prosthetic. It is made from some kind of soft material that similar to a type of tree sap one could find in Tevinter—soft and flexible. The end where it attached to her stump seems more like it is blending into her flesh as there are no gaps. Her fingers slide along the white surface decorated with delicate long engraved lines of patterns that look like vines and leaves—there are sensations left behind by her fingertips!

Heart thumping, she tries to clench her left hand and it does! She can even feel the way each fingertip pressing into her palm!

Turning to Solas, she reaches out to hold his face with both hands. Warmth seeps into both of them. There are no differences, she can feel everything, from the textures to the movements of his face. She _can_ feel everything!

Quickly reaches for his hand next, Evelyn testes each of her finger by hooking onto his own fingers and pulls. Yes, the weight and forces are all the same.

Suddenly, Solas tightens his fingers around her new hand and brings them to his mouth. Looking straight into her eyes, he presses a kiss on each finger before placing a final one in the middle of her palm.

Her eyes soon become glassy under the waves of emotions but she holds in the tears, whispering, "Thank you, my Wolf."

He smiles, shaking his head. "Not yet, there is more." Holding the wrist, he straightens out her left arm before commanding, "Now, try to imagine this as if it's a real thing."

She does as he requested and to her surprise, the vines on her arms start to fill up while the white color gradually changes to a fleshy pinkish tone. In a few seconds, before Evelyn is an arm that looks exactly like her right one. She can even see everything that a real arm should have, from the blue veins on the wrist to the creases of skin around the joins and knuckles; there are even pulses when she presses against the skin!

She holds her arm up, marveling at the miracle her beloved has done. It's almost as if she has never lost her limb, the only things that indicated that had happened are the fact that the Anchor is missing while her soulmark is now on her right wrist instead of left.

"I must be dreaming…" Evelyn mumbles.

Solas chuckles. "No, you are not, because your real arm cannot do this." He points to a candle in a shallow dish. "Use your prosthetic as you would a magic staff and melt that."

Once again, she obeys his instruction and tries to imagine her arm as a staff. Easily, her magic creates a fireball that wraps around the candle and melts it into a puddle in the container.

The new surprise finally sets in and Evelyn has to exclaim. "You made it into a staff too? You can do that?"

"Of course I can," Solas replies proudly. "I may not be as talented as Dirthamen or June in creation magic, but I still _am_ one of the Evanuris, the strongest and most powerful of my people. And you…"

He cups her face. "You deserve my best efforts."

Evelyn giggles at his smugness but decides not to chide him—he really is one of the best, after all. She just asks playfully, "How should I thank you now, my Wolf, for this wonderful gift?"

It was a joke since she knows Solas wouldn't want her to do anything for him as repayment. It's just how they treat one another, simply because of love, not because they want anything in exchange (most of the time).

But then, unexpectedly, Solas's expression changes and a glint of hunger appears in his eyes instead. He pulls her against him and wrap his arm around her waist, growls huskily into her ear. "Then how about that _special treatment_ you gave me two years ago before I left Skyhold?"

Evelyn's face immediate heats up at his at his sudden demand. Reflexively, she stops Solas by pushing both of her hands against his mouth. "Of course! I will do it! Just later, we still have jobs to do!" She can hear the gasping sounds from the servants and feel their stares.

Solas grins smugly, making Evelyn realizes he is just teasing. But the damages had already done—the servants had seen and heard enough to have a new topic of gossip for the next few days.

Fortunately for Evelyn, her Wolf decides not to tease her anymore and just spends the rest of their time teaching her how to care for the prosthetic and how to remove it from her stump by turning it into a bracelet that she can wear. They also both agree that she should still use a normal staff when fighting instead of casting spells with her arm directly to ensure safety and elements of surprise when needed.

After that, she has to leave to meet up with the field agents to review their reports.

xxXxx

By the evening, Evelyn is completely exhausted while she drags herself to the kitchen, planning to just make something light for herself and Solas.

But tired as she is, Evelyn is happy. Everything is going well—the preparation for the valley where all the mages will gather to create the main Fade Gate and its barrier can finally start; they had also managed to restore the elvhen ruins and its underground facilities over there to a more presentable state to house at least half a dozen Dalish clans for training. The other regions still have a lot of work to do before they are suitable to support their army, but since Evelyn is now well enough to travel, she will personally go and oversee the construction.

Silently thanking Solas for making sure to link all the eluvians to those place, Evelyn sighs in relief knowing that her trip around the Dales won't be as long and tedious as back when she was still with the Inquisition.

 _Speaking of Solas…_

Evelyn feels her heart drums a little harder when she remembers the way he held her this noon, and how she could feel his hot breath against her ear when he asked for her "favor".

Ever since she first came here, Solas has been very open with his love to her in front of other people. Well, not _that_ affectionate given that they still have to act professionally in front of their field agents. But when they are in private spaces with the domestic servants, her bondmate is definitely less refrained compared to when he was still in Skyhold.

It's not that she is ashamed—she had stripped herself naked for people to see his marks on her body before—but she is self-conscious of her position. To many people here, she is just a human who suddenly appeared one day and took over the place right next to Solas. They might have heard of her before but she knows for them to actually see her is something else completely.

She can feel the way they look at her, scrutinizing each of her actions. She tries to ignore them and continues on as she would in Skyhold—working diligently without holding back her love for Solas—but sometimes, it still gets into her head the thought that they may never see her as enough for him and for this whole organization… She wonders if Solas ever felt like this back when he was just "Solas the apostate"?

When she goes near the door leading to the main kitchen, Evelyn hears loud noises of laughter and chatting of several women.

"You girls should see the way he embraced her, it was so romantic! It was like in those stories the human noblewomen like to read to each other!" A young feminine voice could be heard, following by a few giggles and whistles.

Evelyn stops at that, realizing they are talking about her and Solas. A bit mortified but also curious, she stops going forward and instead, pressing herself against the wall.

"True, true, I've worked here for two years and have never seen him like that. Our lord usually is so serious and distant, now seeing him like that is just unbelievable! Love really is something else!" Another voice agrees enthusiastically.

"Maybe some of those stories about the Dread Wolf's "conquers" were true? He just didn't find any needs to do so this whole time?"

"Or maybe he just finds her fun and exotic? She's human, after all."

Evelyn suddenly feels like someone has just doused a whole bucket of cold water on her. Even the people in the kitchen immediately become silent at the suggestion, but it does not take long for someone to voice their protest.

"Hey, watch your mouth, you are talking about Lord Fen'Harel bondmate here!" A high-pitched voice demands.

"What? That makes sense, doesn't it? She must look very different from what he had before."

"Well, it's not wrong but…"

"She is human, but that doesn't mean that our Lord only cares about Lady Evelyn's body, you dimwit. We've all seen her soulmark, that thing just doesn't turn red without love. I've seen it in my old brothel, tons of supposedly soulmates fucking each other but not a single one of their marks could change color unless they actually fell something." Says an old woman. "So yes, watch your mouth, girl! And stop talking stupid unless you want to get in troubles."

"Fine, fine, I didn't mean to say that he doesn't love her." The maid huffs. "It's not that I hate Lady Evelyn or anything. I'm just saying that… uhm, I was just worried that our lord Fen'Harel may miss his own kind after a while. You know? Even if he does love his bondmate, she is still human, not one of us. Like… when you move to a new place, you love it and happy but sometimes you still miss your old home where you grew up?"

Another uneasy silence follows before a new voice says, "I get what you mean, Lady Evelyn is working hard like us, that's obvious. But no matter how hard she tries, she is still human, and there are things that can't be fixed."

"Yeah, I kinda feel sorry for her now. And Lord Fen'Harel, too. They seem to love each other a lot but there're things you can't help it."

Upon hearing the agreement of a few other servants, Evelyn feels like her chest is being pressed on by a boulder. Deciding to just ask for the food to be brought to her later, she turns around and walks slowly back to her room.

Back in their bedroom, Evelyn just unceremoniously plops herself down on the mattress and stays like that for a whole while. The words of the servant run back and forth in her head like an echo. A couple of times in the past, she did think about the possibility that Solas may find her boring or not enough for his own taste but so many times he had simply made her forget or dismiss the idea with the way he treats her body—with absolute adoration and reverence.

But now, to hear her own doubt from someone else's mouth…

She knows even if she allows it, Solas would never find some else even if it's just for sex, but it's possible that he would still unconsciously want something closer to home. If only…

A sudden thought flashes through Evelyn's mind, she sits up and looks at her new left hand. Ever since she lost the Mark, she could no longer manipulate the Fade in her dream just as before. She can still move between places she had already known well—like Solas's flower field and Skyhold—but to actually go to new regions requires a tremendous effort that leaves her completely exhausted afterward. These days, she has to rely on Solas to help her explore the Fade.

But when she is in her own territories, she still has a strong control over everything within those spaces, even herself. Maybe… just maybe?

Evelyn walks to the large standing mirror in the corner and looks upon her reflection. She has never thought of herself as anything other than a human. She has never even wished that she has a different appearance. But…

Clenching her jaw, Evelyn concludes that she should try it, despite her uneasiness, because Solas deserves the best from her too.

xxXxx

Solas walks back to his room at a faster pace than usual. Evelyn has told him she has a surprise for him tonight in the Fade and he cannot help but greatly anticipate it, especially after a whole of not seeing her due to their busy schedule.

Two more days and his bondmate will leave with her own group of followers to start her own surveillance of where they will place their supporting units for the war. Since it will be the first time she introduces herself to the followers outside of this headquarter, Evelyn will need to stay with them for at least a few months to properly establish herself as their second leader after him.

Of course, Solas will come to visit her in-between to help but Evelyn will need to handle everything herself. He _is_ worried, but he knows this is the fight she must face herself.

Either way, for now, they need to enjoy each other's presence as much as they can. He can only thankful for the fact that their separation this time will not be as bad and long as the last one while hoping it will not end with her almost losing her life (and limb) again…

When he steps into their room, he finds Evelyn is already asleep. One of her arms is stretching over his spot on the bed, probably from her unconsciously seeking out his warm like usual.

Solas quickly changes into his sleeping pants and get into the bed. Just as he expected, Evelyn automatically moves into his arms. Smiling to himself, Solas gives his bondmate a kiss before lying down to sleep and find her soul in the Beyond. It does not take him long to find her—this time, she has chosen his old room in Arlathan.

Ah, this really brings back memories. And Evelyn is even wearing the same dress she wore that night! He can feel heat running down his stomach already, especially with the way Evelyn throws herself into his arms and kiss him breathlessly.

"Eager, aren't we?" He chuckles, nuzzling against her temper.

"Of course, I have tried very hard for this," Evelyn says cheerfully but… Is it just him or her smile looks rather strained? Tries not to frown, he secretly probes their link. Yes, she does feel wrong, not quite the usual nervousness but with a clear excitement whenever she tries something new with him. She feels… uncomfortable.

"So, what is your surprise for me, vhenan?" Solas still asks, hoping that he was wrong in his reading of her emotion.

Lips curve into what is a very uneasy smile, Evelyn steps away from him and magic starts to gather around her. Her body glows lightly as it morphs in front of him.

And when the light finally faded away, standing him is Evelyn… but as an elf.

In just a few scant seconds, several things go through Solas's mind.

He remembers the years back then when he was still indecisive about his love for her. He sometimes would imagine her as an elf to erase the feeling of betrayal over his desire for a human instead of his own kind. But that did not last long.

He remembers how he gradually learned to love Evelyn for what she is because he realized that Evelyn could not be "Evelyn" if she were not born as a human.

He remembers all the times he spent to observe her features, all the things that make her "her".

The elven Evelyn in front of him is as beautiful as the human one, and since she carries all the traces that he would find beauty in his own people, one could say that she should be even more desirable to him now.

True, Evelyn, as a human or an elf, is beautiful. Not the kind of beauty that makes heads turn or bewitching men into her devoted slaves; it is the kind of loveliness that is easy on the eyes, the kind of attractiveness that most people would say that it is unremarkable and common, and yet still very pleasant to look at.

Solas should desire her even more now that she has what he would usually find attractive.

But he does not.

She looks wrong to him. Her eyes are too big. Her nose is too straight. Her ears are not short and round. Her shoulders too narrow, and so is the rest of her body. She does not have the ample breasts that he loves so much. She does not have the wide hips that had filled out over the years of getting to eat properly in the Inquisition either—he remember Evelyn used to be so thin when they first met due to her life as a wandering researcher, too focus on her quest for knowledge and helping people to find enough food to fill her stomach.

She looks beautiful as an elf but he cannot find any desire to hold or kiss her as he does her human self.

All he feels right now is anger.

"S-Solas?" Evelyn stammers. Hands stretching out trying to reach for him when she sees that his reaction isn't what she expected.

He recoils from her hand and in a single flash, Solas rips apart the dream, knocking both of them back to the physical world.

xxXxx

When Solas opens his eyes, Evelyn has already disappeared from his hold. He looks around and finds her curls into a ball on the ground, her back leans against the end of the bed. She is sobbing softly.

He quickly moves over to take hold of her shoulder and chin, forcing her to look at him despite her struggling.

"Evelyn, vhenan—"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She chokes out. "I j-just wanted to make you happy, I didn't think you would be that angry. I've should have known better than to play with the appearance of your people like that!"

"No, vhenan. That is not it." He shakes his head, feeling like his heart is being stabbed at each tear she is shredding. "I am not angry at you. My anger is at whoever has planted in your head the idea that you have to change yourself to please me."

"But… I truly wanted to make you happy—"

"Not at the expense of yourself. You were extremely uncomfortable." He cuts her off. "And do not lie to me that you didn't feel so. I checked, your emotion was a mess, and you could not even smile properly. You obviously did not like that idea yourself."

Evelyn attempts to open her mouth, obviously trying to protest, but she stops. There is no point to deny it, they both know it.

"I did it because I thought you would want something closer to home once in a while," she murmurs, looking away from him.

He sighs, guiding her face back. "Did you hear that from the maids? That I want a female elf to please me instead of you?" He asks with a gentle tone but inside, he is cursing at the gossiping servants. Evelyn already has enough troubles with everything, he does not need them to make her doubt herself, too.

"Not exactly that, but close." Evelyn swallows. "They did know that you love me. But some of them think that you would still miss your own kind once in a while… and I don't think it's wrong for me to believe that."

Solas feels a wave of guilt when he remembers how years before, in order to push Evelyn away, he had told her that he only finds elves attractive. It wasn't a complete lie—while he has already attracted to her by then, she was the exception as he felt and still feels nothing toward the other humans. But no matter what his intention was, the only thing matters now is that his words had left behind a doubt in Evelyn, making his heart think that she is not enough for him.

Even though she is already more than what he deserves.

Solas takes a long look at Evelyn again. Yes, she does not need to have long ears or big eyes that shine in the dark, there is no need for her to have a lithe body or delicate limbs either. She is already complete as a human. He knows it but most importantly, she must know it.

And he will do so, even if he has to be forceful about it.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Solas pulls Evelyn up. "I should have done a better job," he murmurs, wiping away her tears.

"Do what?"

"Making you know I want you."

"But I knew that already. You've made it very clear from the first time we laid together." Evelyn frowns.

"Not quite." With a tilt of his head, the dressing mirror floats from its spot to stand against the wall across the side of their bed. "You know that I want you. But not _how much_."

He pushes her in front of the mirror, giving her sometimes to see herself in it.

"Do you remember our very first night together? The very night that I found you pleasuring yourself in my bed?" He strokes her shoulders, feeling a light shudder going through her. "I must admit, when I first started to fall for you, I used to imagine you as one of the People but I stopped when I discovered I just couldn't do it."

Evelyn squeezes his hand, signaling him to elaborate further. "One night, I tried to pleasure myself using your images. I didn't want to think about the fact that you are human, seeing it as a betrayal to my people, so I imagined you as an elf instead. But then, I discovered no matter how much I worked myself, I couldn't find release. It was only when I finally gave up and thought about you as yourself that I could reach my climax. It has to be you as a human, nothing else."

He emphasizes by sweeping her hair to aside and nuzzles into the back of her ear.

"… When did that happen?" Evelyn asks.

"Just very shortly before you closed the Breach. It was one of many reasons that made me planned to run away right after that finished. But then Corypheus attacked, and you could not wake up from your wound, so I chose to remain instead, and let myself fall for you deeper until I could not get out anymore. The rest you are already known."

Evelyn turns around, hands catching his owns. "But… are you sure you don't need—"

"Vhenan." He exhales, knowing that he needs to be more forceful to get through her. "Have you ever wanted me to be a human? Or wanted anyone else that is your own people?"

"Never." Just as he expected, she replies immediately. "I've never been with any other man but you, how can I miss something I have never known? And being with you is already enough for me. My heart is full, I don't need anyone else to love me."

He smirks, gripping her chin with one hand. "You have only laid with one man and already so sure, then how can I, who had years of experience to figure out my preference, not be able to know what I want?"

His retort definitely has caught Evelyn off guard because she sputters, obviously cannot find anything to counter back.

Solas turns her around again. "After that first night in the Fade, I knew I could never turn back. No elves or humans could ever compete to this." As he speaks, his experienced hands pull at the straps of her gown and smalls, and in a matter of seconds, Evelyn is completely stripped off her clothing, leaving her standing bare in front of the mirror.

His sensitive ears could already hear his bondmate's breaths quicken. Reaching out to caress her neck and waist, Solas continues, "Do you see it? Do you see the things that I love about you?"

Solas suddenly pulls Evelyn flushes against his front, making her suck in a breath. His arms snake around her front— left-hand takes hold of her jaw while the right-hand caresses her stomach. "You fit so well into my arms, vhenan." He growls.

"Solas…"

"I love it whenever you say my name, and I love it even more when I can make that name to be the only thing in your mind when we make love." He gives her ear a single lick as it is enough to make her tremble. "I love the way your ear is so sensitive that I can make you lost words just being touching it with my tongue."

"Solas." Evelyn breathes out, head turns around just in time for him to capture her mouth. His tongue threats with her as his hand on her neck travels down to grab the underside of her right breast. His other hand slides from her stomach down to her mound. His fingers seek out her slit to stroke it teasingly before he goes up a little to search for her clit. So willingly, Evelyn parts her legs a little more to give him space.

He rubs around her nipple but not quite touching it. It is only when Evelyn tries to lean forward to get more frictions that he goes to attack the little peak, finger swirling and pinching it roughly to harden it.

When their lips part, a trail of spit follows Evelyn's mouth, making her face even more erotic with her hazy gaze, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. Pride surges in his chest as he knows only him is allowed to do this to her.

Pushing her forward, Solas places his bondmate's hands on the mirror before turning her face to it. Pressing himself against her side and keep her still with one arm, he presses his lips to her ear, whispering while looking at their reflection. "Look at yourself in the mirror, vhenan. Can you see how lovely you are? It is an addiction of mine to see you like this."

She looks at her reflection in surprise before something rises in her eyes, something feral that makes him wants to lose control.

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

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Moving Evelyn to a more comfortable position in his lap, Solas turns her face to the mirror again while releasing her arms from behind her back. He commands, "Look, vhenan."

Evelyn looks and what she sees is definitely having an effect on her because she sobs in a breath. Her hands squeeze his forearm as she looks up to him. Solas can see clearly his reflection in her eyes.

Their lips touch again. Solas continues to hold Evelyn tightly as they look at their image in the mirror until she slips away into the Fade.

He soon follows after.

xxXxx

"You sent Abelas with me, too?" Evelyn says, finishing the final snap on her cloak, her followers waiting near the eluvian. The other servants had just brought out all the necessary equipment for the journey and are watching him and Evelyn saying goodbye to each other.

Solas nods, "Yes, the Sentinels will meet up with you at the second post, and Abelas shall stay with you until the main outpost is finished for him to start training the new recruits."

Evelyn takes a long look at Solas. Then she grins, giving him a knowing look before reaching out to take his face into her hands. His bondmate pulls him down and give him a deep kiss that leaves him stunted for just a second before he reacts by grabbing her and returning her kiss with the same enthusiasm.

When she lets go, Evelyn taps his nose. "I will be fine, my Wolf. I'll send reports every week through Felassan so wait for it."

She steps away from him and to the eluvian, pulling her hood over her head. Her eyes twinkle as she smiles at him. "We'll be going now. Take care of yourself."

And with that, Evelyn departs through the mirror, the rest of her group trails behind, leaving Solas standing there. Out of the corner of his eye, Solas could see the way the servants look at him and each other.

He does not know exactly what rumors they will make, but with the confidence Evelyn has displayed and the way she kissed him with no hesitation, he can be sure that it will be alright.

Smiling, Solas walks away, there is a mountain of works still waiting for him in the office.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

Solas looks over the entire valley. This place was one of the mid-class settlement providing food and other raw organic materials for other regions during the days Arlathan was still standing; as something perfectly ordinary with nothing too stand out, who would have thought it would be the place for him to start an important step in his grand scheme?

Most of the elves here are training for the war or growing food to be sent out to the armies hidden in other areas. While they are not farmers and do not really have the experience or proper magic to perform the feats the farmers of Elvhenan could do, Evelyn's suggestion of enchanting normal farming tools and assigning people from Laleal, which has both humans and elves with experience in farming, into teaching positions has helped increase productivity.

More crops are being grown each day and with the magic of the Keepers, they can mature and be harvested much faster than usual. It is going so well that he had already sent the instructors to the other regions to start mass producing the crops. Their presences will also act as the proof that humans and elves can work and live together as equals, even family.

For the Circle mages, half of them here are working days and nights to establish the physical barriers that will filter the flow from the great Rift once it opens completely. Right now, there is only a small amount of the Fade coming out enough to influence just this place.

The other half of the mages are either protecting the wards around the valley or helping the Keepers to train the elven children whose magic are starting to come out due to the Rift's effect. The Elders protested quite strongly at first, but once the little ones' uncontrollable power starting to cause damages for everyone—plus, when it has become very apparent that the mages are here to stay—they have to accept the help whether they want it or not.

It also helps that Solas has specifically chosen only elves that are more approachable to humans to be allowed into this sanctuary. More will soon arrive at this place, and when the proper time comes, he will start introducing the people here with the more aggressive communities out there. And for clans that have a history of banditry and attacking outsiders, he will have to send them somewhere they cannot cause too much damage. Even if the humans are not here, Solas simply does not want to have that kind of elements in his main army.

As Solas is watching some elves trying to teach a couple of mages how to use normal weapons in place of staffs (with a varied degree of success), a group of young elves approaches him. He exhales inwardly.

 _Ah, so that part finally come._

His bodyguards attempt to block them but Solas just wave it off—the problem is already here so he might as well as get over it fast instead of ignoring it.

A young man steps forward. "My lord, please pardon our intrusion but we would like to request to be transferred for different missions."

"Are your current tasks not suitable for you?" Solas asks neutrally but he already knows the answer.

"N-no, Lord Fen'Harel," a Dalish replies, "We are doing quite well with our jobs but we all think that we could do better."

Another elf, this one not wearing Vallaslin, chimes in, "We believes that there could be more important things for us to help other than making supply and training, my lord. There are so much more to be done than that!"

The whole group then choruses the same sentimental again and Solas has to resist the urge to pinch between his brows. Every single time he starts building up an army or preparing for war, there are always a number of young people who think they are so much better than whatever task has been assigned to them. The troubling part is that if he cannot truly predict what they would do whether he fulfill their requests or not.

Most of these _children_ think that war is glorious and are eager to get on the battlefield to prove themselves. They scoff at mundane activities such as farming and logistic providing, not realizing that those things are actually one of the main factors that will build up a great army. They also show a lack of discipline given that they try to bypass their own Keepers and make requests with Solas directly. And then…

"Please, Lord Fen'Harel!" A couple of them—mostly females—knee before him, trying their best to make pretty faces and pleading voices. "We will do anything to prove ourselves for you. Whatever you need, we can do it!" The tones and the way they positioning their bodies leave very little doubts of exactly what they are offering.

Solas clenches his jaw.

And then there is this type of ladder-climbers whose idea of advancing themselves is to shamelessly offer their bodies to him without thinking about their own positions. Of course, some of these women are quite attractive and had it was a couple of years ago, when he just left the Uthenera, he would probably spare them a thought or two just to entertain himself a little bit. But he is different now, years of having Evelyn all for himself had left Solas lost all interests in other women.

And speaking of Evelyn simply makes him even more annoyed by these fools. Just what they were thinking when they come up with this _brilliant_ idea? Do they not know that he already has a bondmate? Did they think that they could try to usurp her place by his side?

Just when he starts to wonder whether he should send them all to latrine duty, Evelyn walks toward him with Loranil and Keeper Hawen following just behind her—they probably just came back from their little trip to check the outer wards.

Solas frowns when he sees that his bondmate is still covering herself with her dark cloak and white mask. Just shortly after she left here for her journey around the Dales, Evelyn had taken the habit of always hiding her true appearance when she is outside to ensure her support for their organization will remain in secret. He cannot fault her logic but for obvious reasons, he really dislikes seeing her like this.

Evelyn is still obvious to his discomfort, she just cheerfully walks to him and says, "All the wards are in good conditions, I think we can start to modify them to prepare for the Great Rift now."

He nods. "Very good. But did you forget something?"

"Forget what?" She tilts her head and Solas smiles. He reaches out and pulls off both her mask and hood off to reveal her face. Evelyn gasps softly when he does that.

"You forgot that I've told you we are at home, you do not have to cover up yourself all the time like that." He chides. "I prefer to see you this way."

She gives him a knowing look but seems to have decided to ignore it. Instead, she turns to the group before them and asks, "I see that you have some volunteers?"

Solas smiles humorlessly but still grateful for the fact that Evelyn understands him. After all, as the Inquisitor, she had to deal with these kinds of problems, too.

"Indeed. Perhaps you have some ideas of what jobs to be given to them?" Solas says, trying not to grin when out of the corner of his eye, he could see the female elves who tried to seduce him flinch.

Evelyn thinks for a bit before saying to the group, "We will soon open the gates for more people to come in. The secret routes around Thedas needed to be prepared for larger influx than we had expected. Our mages will help to enchant them but they will be quite vulnerable during those periods, perhaps you all may find it more excited to work as bodyguards to protect them? We also need more guides and scouts to lead the Dalish from the outside to here."

Solas suppresses his grin as he hears Evelyn speaks. All the routes are already enchanted, so the mages that modifying with them are already be safe in the first place. Those who take the guarding duty will only just stand around doing nothing and thus cannot cause troubles to other areas. With the other duty, the ones that actually need guidance for their ways are the mages and city elves, all the Keepers had already received instructions on how to get here so obviously the guides and scouts are unneeded.

Obvious to her little trick, the group quickly accepts her offer. His bondmate then instructs them to go and meet the appropriate agents to receive more information. She also asks Hawen to talk to the other Keepers for proper permissions.

Then, when the group was out of their earshot, Evelyn turns to Loranil and says, "Tell the agents to take notes on the performances and attitude of those volunteers. They may be a bit reckless but perhaps they can still do something if we know more about them."

Solas just smiles and shakes his head—typical Evelyn, never miss a chance to get more out of something. He waits for the Dalish agent to leave before taking her hands and suggests, "Let come back to the office for a break. You've already worked hard all morning."

When they are inside their office, Evelyn finally laughs. "Those girls really tried hard to get your attention."

"Don't laugh. You were in that kind of situation, too. Remember that time when that noble proposed to you?"

"I have to laugh, you did the same to me!" She taps his chin. "Don't worry, I'll do something to make sure that you won't be bothered anymore. We still have a lot of smaller projects so I'm there's something for them to do. Materials gathering, perhaps? We do need more varieties from the other regions while avoiding being discovered, having hunters and rouges for those jobs will be great."

He sighs in relief at the thought of not having to deal with that anymore. "Thank you, vhenan," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the corner of her eye.

Evelyn just waves her hand. "Don't thank me, I have more works for you so it's not like you're free anyway." As she speaks, she hands over to him several missives came from the ravens before starting to undo the snaps of her cloak.

Solas skimps over the notes and comments, "It looks like that Leliana is doing her best to solidify her position as the Divine."

"Yes. But the scariest part is that Sera is helping her."

"Ah, that is certainly unnerving," he says dryly.

"But more seriously, Vivienne is building a new Circle of Magi. She has even appointed herself as the Grand Enchanter. Quite a few of the mages we didn't choose to make contacts with are trying to side with her." Evelyn's voice sounds quite strained as she summarizes. The sounds indicate that she is still working on the snaps.

"That will be a problem to us. More attention to the mages in the South means more people will notice Circle mages are missing alongside the elves."

"That's why I am planning to make some false flag operations in the North to gather people's attention there. Perhaps something that can also help Dorian?"

"That's good to know. I entrust everything to you then."

As Solas is writing new commands for the spies, his ears notice that the rustling sounds behind his back have not stopped. He turns around, thinking that maybe Evelyn is having troubles with her cloak but what greets him just takes his breath away instead.

Evelyn is standing there without a shred of cloth on her body, her clothes scatter around her feet. The bright sunlight from the window wraps around her body like a transparent cloak, emphasizing her bared curves.

"You know, I have to admit I was quite jealous of those girls, being able to feel so confident that they would try to seduce you," she says nonchalantly. "I think I should learn from them, too. Trying to entice you, I mean."

She tucks one of her arms under her breasts, making them bounce up lightly in a way that makes his crotch throbs. And he swallows when she presses a finger to her bottom lip coyly, looking oh-so-innocently at him.

"Did it work?" she asks.

xxXxx

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

Her Wolf chuckles as he kisses her neck. Not long after that, she finds herself curls up in his lap on the couch, her naked form covered only by his robe.

Evelyn giggles, pressing kisses against Solas's neck. "That was unexpected!"

"But it seems that you do not hate it at all." He nuzzles back against her temple.

"I was surprised, but I definitely don't hate it." She confirms, her cheeks turn pink slightly. "You… trying out new things like that… I really like it."

"That is good to hear. Many people don't actually like to be touched there." Solas hums.

"Do you?"

"Well, just touching is enough for me." He coughs. "I do not like anything deeper than that. I've tested enough times to be sure of it."

"With a man?" Evelyn asks. She knows that Solas was, is, still very popular with women but she has not heard him mentioning his experience with men before.

"No. All were with women. I may have tried a couple of same-sex encounters before but they all never went too far than lips touching."

Well, this is not what she expected, she always thought that when one lived as long as her bondmate did, they would have had experienced practically everything. Evelyn asks, "You don't like men?"

Solas just gives her an annoyed look before signing, "Vhenan, just because I am this old does not mean I can just sleep with everyone. Everyone has their own preference and I've only ever attracted to women. So…"

He pauses for a bit before resuming, "Well, there have been a quite few men expressed their interests in me during my youth. Most of the time, I just ignored them but once in a while, there was someone with enough intellectual and aesthetic qualities for me to consider their offer. But it always ended the same. I tried to test by myself first to see if I actually attracted to them physically—I felt nothing. I then tried to actually do it with them—could not even get past the kissing."

Evelyn eyes him for a bit before concluding, "There must be something happened during those encounters. You sound so miffed."

He just cringes. "Let just say that some of them did not take my refusal lightly and were a bit forceful to 'prove' that they could change my mind. Fools. I shall tell you more about that in the future."

"As you wish." Evelyn giggles at his funny expression which makes Solas shot back a glare at her.

"What about you, vhenan?" he then asks, "I know I am your first and only partner but surely you would have had some feelings for others before me, at least?"

"Well, as you know I've never loved anyone else before you…" Evelyn's smile is strained as she recalls her past. "A few times, there were men who I thought as physically attractive, but that was it—I felt nothing more. There was only a single person whom I liked enough to consider the idea of accepting his offer to stay with him and his clan. But then I decided to leave."

"A Dalish?" Solas inquires and she could feel his hand on her shoulder tightens just very slightly.

"A First, to be specific. His Keeper was very welcoming to me. If it wasn't for clan Aridhel, I wouldn't have lasted for that many years in the wild." Evelyn recalls fondly. "I had my books and instructions but they could not replace proper teachers. Before I met Itha and his clan, I survived by scavenging or trading herbs and potions with the other Dalish clans or human farmers. Yet it wasn't enough, my health kept deteriorating despite using most of my time looking for food—I couldn't even do any research at all. It was all thanked to Itha teaching me proper hunting and other activities that I was able to care for myself better afterward."

"I see." From Solas's tone, it appears that he wants to ask more on why she left if she was happy enough with them, but he does not probe for more, and she is grateful for that. She doesn't want to let him know that it was due to Itha saw her soulmark and in her panic of fearing to be chased away or worse like several times before, she ran away on her own. If Solas knows, he will blame himself again.

Wanting to cheer up the mood, Evelyn returns to the previous topic. "So… about before, you said before that you had tried… umm, anal sex with women before? Did you… like it?"

Fortunately, her bondmate forgets about the previous conversation (probably) and laughs, "Yes, I did. Anal sex is quite pleasurable for me as long as I am not the receiver." He tilts his head at her, eyes hooded, fingers playing with her hair. "Are you interested?"

"Yes." She replies eagerly. "I've been wondering about it quite for quite sometimes but didn't sure how to suggest it first. And then you did that just now and it felt good so I want to try it!"

Solas smiles, it is a tender thing full of understanding, yet when he presses a kiss to her lips, she can even feel a little bit of lust from him.

"Then you shall. Just give me a day or so to prepare. I will make sure that your first time with this will be unforgettable."

"I know," she says before pulling him down for a long and deep kiss that soon turns heated. They still have works to do today but maybe there is just enough time for another round? Solas seems to think so too, with the way his hand stroking her bottom. Maybe they can start practice right away—

Loranil opens the door and walks in. "Pardon my suddenness, Lady Evelyn but I want to ask about…"

He trails off as his eyes land on her and Solas in a very compromised position, with her completely naked sans a cloak over her shoulders and her hand still dip into Solas's pants while his hand is groping her bared butt.

"ForgivemeIdon'tseeanythingI'llcombacklater!" The young man instantly pulls the door close as fast as he can and judging by his loud footsteps afterward, he is running away as if his life is depending on it.

Once again with just the two of them in the room, Evelyn and Solas look at each other before groaning, all of their lust had evaporated completely.

"I think it is time to get back to work." Solas exhales tiredly. Evelyn does the same as she nods, mentally reminding herself to always lock the door first before starting anything with Solas in the future.

xxXxx

Evelyn sits on the edge of the pool, letting Solas dabbing her dry with the white tower. They had just finished cleaning her thoroughly and the activity has helped her relax considerably. Not to mention, given that she had seen how Solas decorated the room—scented candles and oil, clean towels and controlled temperature—she actually feel a great anticipation for tonight.

Her beloved finally put the towel down and automatically, Evelyn wraps her arms around his neck as he moves to carry her. She giggles as he spins around with her in his arms, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"You are not scared?" He smiles.

"No, a bit nervous but I'm really looking forward to it."

"Ah, then I have to give you my best performance." He says, placing her down in the middle of the bed that had been covered with clean towels and pillows. Everything smells and feels so lovely. Solas gives her a quick peck on the lips before turning to the basket of his "tools".

"Have you done this before?" asks Evelyn.

"Just three or four times," Solas replies, signaling for her to lay down onto her back. "Most of my previous partners had already quite experienced when I slept with them. Even then, with those few encounters, I actually didn't go to such extent in preparation as those women had done most of it beforehand to please me. You are the first person to completely leave everything to me."

"It's because I trust you." Evelyn lays her head against the pillow as she watches Solas warming the oil between his hand.

"I know, vhenan." Solas's lips curl up lovingly, his oil-covered hands touch her stomach and beginning to spread the liquid all over her skin. "Now, just relax."

Evelyn draws in a long breath and allows her body to go loose as she closes her eyes. Solas's fingers smooth over her muscles, kneading and releasing all the knots in her joints with the help of the pleasant heat penetrating into her flesh and bones. Sometimes his caresses turn teasing with the way he slides his palms over her mound and breasts, circling the peaks until they turn hard and then just leave them their wanting and waiting.

It does not take long for Evelyn's body to turn hot and aching for more. But she does not beg, knowing that she should endure it for the sake of tonight's goal.

She cannot stop moaning softly, though. And after a while, she hears Solas chuckles.

"Perhaps it is time for you to turn around now," he comments jokingly, his thumb rubbing against her lower lip. "If I continue to see your face like this, I may lose control of myself."

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

When it finally ends, Solas collapses on top of Evelyn for a few seconds before attempting to pull out, but she stops him.

"Just a little more." She says softly, feeling so incredibly satisfied to the point she just wants to forgo the cleaning up part and sleep.

"Very well. But just for a bit." Solas replies and from his tone, Evelyn knows he won't let her sleep without proper aftercare.

Eventually, just as he said, Solas gently pulls out from her, leaving behind a gaping empty feeling in her backside. Her bondmate quickly wipes her with a clean towel before gathering her into his arms again.

He carries her into the bathroom and moments later, after has been cleaned thoroughly again, Evelyn finds herself sitting in Solas's lap as they soak in the steaming water infused with herbs.

She has barely said anything through the whole affair, too tired and boneless, but now that she has felt a bit more awake to notice the way Solas is caressing her. His fingers trace her cheek down to her neck and then shoulder—sweet and tender. His other arm is wrapping around her waist, keeping her from slumping forward into the water.

Evelyn takes his hand when it comes up to her cheek again and presses a kiss to the palm. She nuzzles her cheek into it, feeling the callouses lightly scrap against her skin until Solas pulls away from her hold.

He grabs her shoulders and turns her around to give her a deep kiss—his good mood easily transferred through it. Solas is always proud of himself like that whenever he makes her scream like that, which is very often, if not always.

"Thank you, my Wolf," Evelyn whispers when he lets go. "It was perfect."

"As it should be for my heart."

She moves around to embrace him, her nails lightly scratch his back as she nuzzles into his jaw. "Incredible sex and then a great bath. I couldn't ask for more for tonight."

"I also have some news for you…" Solas suddenly says, his voice uncertain. "I am not sure whether you would consider it good news or not but I believe you will find it important."

Evelyn doesn't comment, she just sits back to properly listen to what her beloved about to tell her.

Solas squeezes her hand. "One of the clans will be allowed in here in the next few weeks will be clan Aridhel, their leader is Keeper Itha."

She blinks, take a moment to take in the information before a small smile appears on her lips. "I see."

"You are both happy, and worried." Solas tilts his head. "Do you not want to meet them?"

"Ah, no, I do want to see them. It's just…" She glances aside. "I'm not sure if they are angry at me for how I left them back then like that. It was ungrateful of me, especially when they were so kind to me. And the whole time I was the Inquisitor, I was too scared to contact them since I didn't want the matter about me being your soulmate get worse than it was. Even so, I…"

She trails off, not sure how to tell Solas everything without making him sad. Seeing her hesitation, instead of staying silent like before, Solas takes hold of her chin and guides her face up to look at him clearly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks and the look in his eyes tell her everything. He wants to know and to share it with her. Even if it hurts to hear it, even if it will make him feel bad, he still wants to hear because he cares—because they are bondmates, they are husband and wife, partners and everything that is precious to each other.

They are not supposed to hide away pains and sorrow to protect the other's feeling. They are supposed to share everything with one another.

Her lips thin, Evelyn mulls for a bit before settling herself back against Solas. His arms once again enveloping her. Taking a deep breath, she begins, "It started when I got caught in a trap…"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

* * *

The rain comes so sudden, or perhaps he was just too focusing on collecting his precious herbs to notice— either way, Itha is currently wet from head to toes and away from his camp for miles. Just his luck, really. But then again, the rain will make more worms to come out so it means more baits for fishing!

The thought about getting those delicious fishes full of fatty eggs lightens his mood considerably, so Itha decides to continue on his way to where he had placed one of his traps. Who knows but maybe he will get a deer or a fox to make a great roast for tonight. Or nugs, maybe, not as tasty but would still work with enough herbs.

But when he comes near the area, he could hear the sounds of struggling and painful sobs. His stomach drops right before he sprints for it.

A human woman with her leg, which looks obviously broken, caught in his trap.

Nonononono! This is bad! This is the worst! Of all thing his trap could catch, it has to get a human!

Even as he thinks so, Itha still launches himself to the human's side, casting a quick healing spell to just stop the heavy bleeding that mostly caused by her struggling against the trap.

"Try not to move. It will cause the teeth to dig in deeper." He explains to her with the calmest and softest voice he could muster.

The woman—no, more like a girl, she can't be older than twenty—immediately stops. She is still breathing heavily, obviously scared and in pain, but seems to still have a clear head to listen to him.

Itha quickly disables the latches before turning back to the girl. He says, "Listen, I will open this trap so don't move. I know it hurts but please endure it."

The girl nods. Her jaw visibly tightens as she sucks in a deep breath and Itha starts to pry the trap open. The girl let out a muffled scream but she doesn't squirm around to make his work harder, she just holds onto her leg harder.

The moment the trap is fully opened, the girl let out a loud breath before collapsing to the ground. Itha instantly moves to work on her leg. By the time he has finished with re-aligning her bones and stabilizing it with some sticks and bandage, he finally has the chance to look at her face more clearly. It is only then that he realizes she is in worse condition than he previously thought.

This girl is too thin, it wouldn't be a surprise that she has not gotten a full meal for at least a couple of days. Her eyes have dark bags under them while her body is too hot even under this rain. Her breathing is harsh and she can barely keep herself awake as she looks at him.

Without much thinking, he pulls her up and tries to rearrange the girl so he could carry her on his back.

xxXxx

"How is she?" Itha asks the moment he comes inside the wagon. His mentor, Keeper Eola, is in the middle of tucking the girl's arm into the blanket.

"Better. She will sleep for a while but she will be better when she wakes up." Eola smiles kindly, shaking her head. "Truly, what an unlucky child she is to step right into your trap while being sick like this."

Itha groans, wiping his face. "I'm so sorry, Eola. I will get everyone to pack up as soon as possible. Once she is well enough, we will leave immediately before her human friends can come to attack us."

"That will not be necessary." His mentor holds up a hand to stop him before pointing to the girl's clothes she has hanged on the rack against the wall. It is only then that Itha notices a short mage staff lying on the ground. "She is most likely one of the Circle mages escaped their massacre. Though, as I heard that the mages are gathering forces to go to war against the Templars and the Chantry in Ferelden, so it's possible that she is a deserter of some kinds to wandering alone in the Free Marches like this."

"Oh, so no vengeful humans chasing us after we healed her and let her go then?" Itha asks hopefully.

Eola chuckles, "I doubt the humans want to pay back over a wounded mage like this, human or not."

"I guess what we can do now is wait for this human to wake up and take it up from there." He concludes.

xxXxx

It took two days of agonizing waiting for the girl to wake up, but at least right now, judging from the way she is furiously apologizing to them for wandering into their territory—while wolfing down her third bowl of soup—Itha guesses they really don't have to worry about angry human mobs in the near future.

"So, how did you manage to starve yourself anyway? This area is full of food, herbs and mushrooms, and tree barks and such," asks Itha.

"Huh?" The girl, who introduced herself as Evelyn Trevelyan (Is she has anything to do with Bann Trevelyan in Ostwick?), blinks at him. "But the books said that those are inedible."

Oh dear, seems like those Circle mages, or this particular one, are more inept than he thought. Then again, that would explain why she stepped right into his trap despite him putting it in a pretty obvious place (for most normal people) to spot.

Itha sighs, explaining. "Most people around here, humans or elves, known by heart what can be scavenged and eaten. Even the things that normally considered to be poisonous or inedible can be used with the right preparation. But most of us simply learned it during everyday chores way back when we were still children. I guess people don't really write down what considered to be common knowledge into books to be stored in libraries, huh?"

"Er… probably…" Evelyn flushes bright red. "The Templars don't really allow us young mages to have too many contacts with poisonous or non-processed ingredients or things that required a lot of preparation so… Most of the times, it's the Tranquil who handle those jobs."

Eola hums and suddenly, Itha starts to have a bad feeling. "Hahren, just what are you planning?" He frowns at her.

"Well, my child, I am thinking that perhaps in order to properly apologize for young Evelyn here for breaking her leg, maybe you could teach her how to survive properly in the wild. That way she won't get in trouble again."

He wants to protest but one look from Eola stops him in his tracks. He then turns to Evelyn, who is still looking quite weak. Her eyes dull and somewhat lifeless, almost like an abandoned child. And he still remembers the pitiful way she tried to scrap the bottom of her bowl for more leftover…

"That's okay! You don't have to!" Evelyn quickly says, "It was my own fault for not noticing my surrounding. I've learned, I'll try to be more careful in the future!"

Itha exhales audibly—he cannot let her go like this, without knowing anything to prepare or protect herself. It's a wonder how she managed to survive these couples of months after she left her tower.

"No no, I insist that you stay. My consciences won't let me sleep if I just let you leave like that." Crossing his arms, Itha begins, "I think we can start tomorrow by doing some simple things that can be done within this wagon. You still need a long of rest after all. What do you think?"

Evelyn seems to hesitate, but when she looks up to give him a small smile, he feels his chest become lighter.

xxXxx

"Here, watch me, all right?" Itha instructs, his hands work slower on the large mushroom for Evelyn to see. "Just cut off the root and top, take off the outer skin and then soak them in ash water for an hour. Then you dry them for a day or so. But if you see the inner core has yellow lines like this then just discard it."

"And then you can eat them?" Evelyn starts to peel the one he handed to her.

"No, there are a few more steps but trust me, it's completely worth it!" Itha proclaims proudly. "These mushrooms are absolutely delicious! They have been one of the delicacies of the People ever since the golden days of Elvhenan!"

Evelyn's eyes suddenly lit up but she takes a moment to ask him, "Say, Itha, you are the First of this clan, right? Do you often talk in with the old Elvhen tongue?"

"Well, not always, I use it when there are ceremonies or worshipping events, or just here and there when I feel like it. Why do you ask?"

"Ah, to be honest… back when I was in the Circle, I was doing mainly research about Elvhen culture. And the whole reason I refused to join the Mage uprising is due to me wanting to continue my research, so…"

She proceeds to tell him about her findings and even shows him the dictionary and notes she managed to gather throughout the years. While Itha feels somewhat apprehensive about a human knowing so much of the lost knowledge of his own people, the excitement of gaining new insights into the relics and treasures of his own clan prompts him to seek out Eola so the three of them can discuss more.

And so for the next couple of hours, he and Eola end up comparing their clan's documents with Evelyn's research while trying to teach her how to pronounce Elven words. Evelyn's pronunciation is atrocious because, as it obviously turns out, the Dalish elves she met in Ostwick weren't as knowledgeable as a First or a Keeper—with them being mostly children or normal clan members being abandoned and all.

xxXxx

Itha stops his weaving to look at the group of children near him. Evelyn is sitting with them, trying her best to work on the base of a basket.

"Here, you weave this part like this. That way your basket will be water-tight once you covered it in resin." One of the children holds her hands, trying to guide them through a particularly complicated knot.

"Like this?"

"Yes, just like that. Try to remember that one. You can make other containers with it." Little Haleir laughs next to Evelyn. "But are all shemlen just like you? Don't know how to do these simple things?"

"Ah…" Evelyn's cheeks turn pink. "I think it's just me… maybe the other mages in the Circle too… but maybe it's just me…" her voice turns tiny at the last part.

"Then I will be your hahren and teach you how to be an adult!" Another child stands up with his arms crossed, his nostrils flare out as he declares.

That makes Evelyn laugh, saying. "Thank you for having me then, hahren!"

The other children start to chime in, offering to teach Evelyn other things while demanding that she calls them hahren too. The whole scene makes Itha smile. He has been worried that his people wouldn't accept Evelyn's presence in the camp but after a couple of days, with her being so harmless and timid, they had settled down somewhat and not glaring at the girl whenever she comes out of Eola's wagon anymore. Evelyn being very respectful to everyone unlike the usual shem also helps a lot.

He prays that this peace will be maintained until the girl is completely healed and leaves.

xxXxx

"Another, please!" Itha holds out his empty bowl. This is his third refill but he just cannot stop! This soup is too delicious!

"Of course!" Evelyn cheerfully takes it. "I'm so glad you like it!"

As the First of the clan, Itha has other duties other than babysitting a human mage so today, he has to spend the entire day working around the camp. Evelyn has insisted that he left the cooking duty for her so he and Eola can be free.

He was somewhat worried about it, not being sure if a sheltered human such as Evelyn could make something even remotely palatable but it turned out that he was wrong! He thinks he should leave all the cooking to Evelyn from now on!

"I have to. Have no one ever told you how good your cooking is?" Itha states, happily receives his new portion.

Evelyn suddenly freezes but she quickly recovers and gives him an apologetic smile. "N-no, not really. I didn't really get any chance to have that kind of talk."

Damnit, he and his big mouth! Itha had known for a while that Evelyn didn't have any friends back when she was with her parents because of their strict rules, then she couldn't make friends in her Tower either due to her "eccentricity". He had tried not mentioning it to her, but sometimes, he still let it slip out.

"No matter what, my dear child, there is no denying that you are very talented with your cooking. You learned other skills quite fast too," Eola suddenly says from her seat across them. "You will be a wonderful wife and mother someday."

A strange look flashes across Evelyn's face but as usual, she just smiles. "I'm not sure who would want someone like me…" she mumbles to herself before looking up again to Eola. "Thank you, hahren. I will continue to do my best."

Itha focuses back on his food, not knowing how to react to the sadness he has seen in her eyes.

xxXxx

"It's okay to touch, girl, he won't bite," Sannah, the halla keeper encourages as she pulls Evelyn's hand toward the creature.

"Yes, Evelyn, don't be scared, you can touch it. It's perfectly safe," Itha echoes, pushing against Evelyn's back, mindfully not using too much force less she stumbles on her broken leg.

"A-all right," the human girl swallows, her hand finally touches the halla's head. She keeps still for a moment before starting to stroke his forehead. Before long, her other hand joins in so she can caress the whole neck.

"There, isn't that better." Sannah laughs. "But truly, you really haven't touched a live animal before?"

"Ah, well… The only animals I've contacted with were the ones I hunted, but even then, I usually kill them from a safe distance." Evelyn replies shyly. "And in the tower, we only had contacts with cats or rats or maybe some nugs that managed to sneak in through the dungeon. The dogs belonged to the Templars to keep us mages in check so we always avoided them… But I did go near horses and fowls when I was little!"

Itha's brows furrow and he glances aside to Sannah who gives him a similar look. They then look back to the oblivious Evelyn who is now too busy giggling as the halla licks her face to notice.

He has never thought he would pity a human, yet there is no denying that it is what he currently feels toward this _child_. He doesn't have much time to think more about it, though, because Evelyn then let out a shriek as the halla tries to take a bite at the sleeve of her left wrist, prompting him and Sannah to come to her rescue.

xxXxx

"Where are they going?" He hears Evelyn ask Eola from behind. She probably means about all the young people in the clan who are preparing to leave for their First Night.

All Dalish clans have an agreement to meet every ten years to trade knowledge and stories. But the event is also incredibly important to create the sacred bonds between the souls—it is the time where people can find their soulmates who were born in the other clans.

The Aridhel has received ten new members last year and now, with tonight's moon is at its top peak, the young couples who have spent nearly a year to learn and love each other will finally formalize their bond. The couples whose marks fully turn red after tonight will have a wedding in the spring next year for all of them!

Itha used to have a soulmark too, a strong but feminine name on his left wrist. But when he was twelve, a sharp pain came and the mark faded away. He knew then whatever chances he had to meet with his soulmate has gone.

It had hurt at first, even though he had never known her he still mourned for all the "what ifs" they could have, even if the chances for them to meet are slim from the very beginning. Not everyone could be born with a soulmate but even then, just a few of those people could actually meet with their chosen one, fall in love and bond their souls.

But he has learned to use his pain as a mean to push himself forward, one day he will become the Keeper and he will use his position to nurture and guide everyone, soulmates or not, to a happier life. That what he has decided.

Evelyn has just finished listening to Eola's explanation so the girl steps to his side. Together, they watch the young couples talk and help each other, clearly excited and eager for what is awaiting them.

Glancing at Evelyn, Itha sees that she is holding onto her left wrist again. They had talked about soulmates before—Evelyn had apologized for asking after he revealed to her that he had lost his own soulmate but he simply reassured her that it was okay. But when he asked her about her own, she couldn't even talk. He could guess that Evelyn does have a soulmate given her reaction. But it's unclear whether she had met that person yet and tried to bond with them, or if something else had happened to make her so reluctant to talk about them.

But no matter what, he knows and like the girl enough to not probe her story. Everyone has things they don't really want to talk about, after all.

xxXxx

"Itha… may I ask you something?" Evelyn asks softly from her spot on the floor, her hands still picking the leaves off the branches for tonight's dinner.

"Hm?" He makes a signal for her to continue her question, vaguely estimates that by the time she finishes her job, it'd be just in time for him to perform another healing spell on her leg.

"In the story about Fen'Harel's slow arrow… if he is a disaster god, why did he save the children? Is he truly an evil god?"

Ah, another question about the Evanuris—as much as he like the fact that Evelyn loves to hear the stories of his people, he is really starting to worry that he will eventually not be able to explain or answer her questions. He knows many stories but if he has to be honest, quite a few of them are actually contrasted with each other or just missing too many pieces for him to give proper information—and that rankles him since it makes him feel inadequate as a First. He still has a lot to learn from Eola, that is a fact.

"Itha?" Evelyn's voice halts his trail of thoughts.

"Ah, sorry, about Fen'Harel, huh? Well, to be honest, calling Fen'Harel a full ledge disaster god would be somewhat incorrect, given that that title belonged to the Forbidden Ones while the Dread Wolf was considered to be a member of both pantheons, which means he was more of a neutral figure."

"Then why do the People still consider him a god of disaster?"

"Because he chose to remain in the middle, and did everything for his own goals and amusement instead of having a clear agency. He was bounded to no alliance but his own and that made him dangerous." Itha's tone turns fatherly as he tries explaining everything to Evelyn. She is still too naïve and sheltered to understand such a gray area and he feels it is his duty to teach her.

Itha continues, "Think about it, Evelyn, if you have to deal with an enemy, would you want to face with someone whose goal is unclear and you cannot predict what he will do? Or would you rather deal with an obviously evil person but you know how to fight him?"

"I think I would choose the latter case…"

"Exactly. Now, we know that Fen'Harel has done some good but given all the other stories about him harming people, we cannot say for sure that he has morals or not. And for all what we know, what he considers to be moral could be completely different from our own standards. And do not forget the fact that the records said that he was the one who sealed away the Creators. Frankly speaking, I'd never want to come near someone who had imprisoned the gods I revere. Regardless of his intention, the Dread Wolf is still the God of Betrayal and the Trickster, after all."

His lecture seems to make Evelyn think really hard because she stays silent for a while before looking up at him again. She smiles, her right-hand reaches for her left wrist before she quickly hides both of her hands behind her back, "You are right, Itha. It's best not to come near a god who hurt people."

Everything returns to normal afterward… He thinks…

xxXxx

Everyone sings and dances around the fire-pit. Today they managed to take down a great bear so they are having a feast! (A big meal, actually, not quite a celebration but who cares about such details!)

Itha dances with two young women, holding their hands as they spin him around with the rhythm of the music, making him laugh until his stomach hurts. Letting them go to catch a short break, he finally notices Evelyn is sitting a little farther in the back of the crowd, smiling and clapping along with the music.

For a moment, he considers going over there and pulls her out to dance. She can move a little bit faster now with her leg healing so well, so it's not that dangerous for her to shuffle a little. But to invite a _shemen_ into the center of their gathering…

He doesn't have to think too far, because another girl yanks him out for another dance.

But the image of Evelyn sitting alone there still stays in his mind well beyond into the night, even as he goes to bed.

xxXxx

"Here, notice these yellow mosses? You must only dig the roots out when you see this color. Any other color indicates that the roots are still unusable." Varan the herbalist instructs Evelyn—she is now well enough to walk a short distance outside their camp so Itha has asked his friend to help him with teaching Evelyn.

"What about these black things?" Asks Evelyn, pointing to the mushrooms around the roots.

"Ah, those are poisonous so don't try to eat them. They will give you hallucinations, headaches, and horrible stomach pain afterward. But they can be used to make baits for hunting since some hogs love them. For some reasons, the poison doesn't affect those animals." Varan explains before grinning. "But you know, when we were just tiny kids, Itha didn't believe he shouldn't eat those."

"Varan. Don't you dare…" Itha warns.

Varan continues without care, "He thought 'if hogs could eat them then I can too' and ate a whole bowl! I thought he was going to die for real after he danced naked in the middle of the camp and then just fell flat on his face like a log right then and there with his whole body stiffened like a corpse."

Evelyn laughs out loud at that and despite his embarrassment, Itha couldn't help but laugh along with her and Varan.

xxXxx

"Do you want that child to stay?" Eola suddenly asks one day.

"Huh? Who?" Itha blinks before realizing who Eola is talking about. "Oh, you mean Evelyn? Why should I ask her to stay? She is a human, and you didn't see her preparing her packing already? "

"Is that so important with her being human, she gets along with everyone in our clan. She can translate the old tongue. And she obviously like us a lot. I'm sure if you ask, that child will definitely consider it. And don't lie to me, but I know you are worried whether she can care for herself alone once she leaves or not."

"It's true that I'm worried, but Hahren, you cannot just expect me to ask a _human_ to remain with us. She may be friendly to us but in the end, we are different. We must preserve our way of life."

Eola exhales, "And here I thought you would do something different…" She looks up at him again, asking, "How much of our 'way' is the true 'way' anyway? We are barely being able to preserve the knowledge from the days of the Dales, let along things from the time of Elvhenan… What we think is right may not be the truth. What harms would it do to just change the rules of our clan a little bit for a single human?

"Hahren… if you want Evelyn to stay that much, why don't you tell her yourself?"

His mentor's face becomes unreadable. She then says, "I won't be around forever, Itha. I've lived for more than a hundred years and soon, I will leave this world and you will be the Keeper of this clan, what good would I do if you don't approve of it and can change it later?"

"I…"

Eola just waves her hand before leaving the wagon, saying, "Consider this to be something for you to think for a while. Things are just not the way they seem to be. I've learned that and you should, too."

She leaves him alone with his own thoughts.

xxXxx

"Evelyn, you don't have to do this. Just run and find somewhere safe." Itha says firmly, his hands still don't stop polishing the blades of his staff.

"I cannot do that. I will stay and fight with you." Evelyn snaps back, fastening the strings of her boots even tighter.

The camp is going to be attacked. The hunters had discovered a large group of slavers and mages heading this way and with the place the Aridhel has chosen to place their settlement—in a tight encircle of large rocks and cliffs with just two openings—they don't really have much time to pack up their home and run away like usual.

Originally, months ago, they chose this area despite it being near the Imperium's border because it is isolated enough but still give them what they need. No nearby human settlements, rich in resources to be scavenged in preparation for winter, a hiding spot to place the camp with enough security to avoid being seen by by-passers. But now it has become a death trap!

Eola has ordered for all the children and non-combatants to be moved and hid away somewhere safe. But the one who can fight still need to stay around to defend their camp. All of their livelihood is here and winter is too close for them to lose all the supplies here.

Recounting the situation makes Itha realize that he really cannot afford to deny any helps they can get right now…

"Itha?" Evelyn calls above him and he looks up, seeing her face simply reconfirm his conclusion. Evelyn must have seen something in his eyes too because the fire in her eyes rises stronger. She says, "I will stay."

"… Thank you, my friend."

xxXxx

Itha blasts several blades of air at a slaver when he stumbles backward from being pushed by Varan. The blades nearly cut through the fiend but Itha doesn't bother to check—no one could survive that and he needs to preserve his nearly-empty mana.

The fight is ugly but lucky for them, Itha's side has not yet lost anyone. But a few had been wounded seriously enough that Eola had to move them to another area. They still have more people than the Tevinter attackers but the enemies have the advantages of having more mages on their side. The Aridhel clan only has him, Eola and Evelyn…

His mentor Eola calls for several walls of vines to grow underneath three men, impaling them on the spot. A mage, who looks like the leader of their enemies, tries to attack her but Itha intervenes with a wall of ice, stopping the fire bolts from touching her. Some other Dalish immediately run toward him with their weapons while Itha assisting them with barriers and boosting magic.

 _I have to take down that one first!_

Itha concludes as he focuses most of his effort on lowering the mage's guard. If they can take down the leader, the rest will lose their morale and—

"Look out!"

Evelyn's voice makes Itha lose his focus and it's only then that he notices a rogue is coming to him from the side. The elf doesn't even have the time to react because Evelyn has already pushed him out of the way, letting her left arm get slashed in the process.

The human girl blows a fireball into the face of Itha's attacker, sending him flying backward faraway from the two of them. The rogue doesn't move when he finally lands on the ground.

"Evelyn!" Itha yells, trying to reach for his friend's bloody arm and heal her but she backs away from him.

As Evelyn performs a small healing spell onto her arm which probably just enough to stop the bleeding for now, she says to him, "Save your magic for the slavers. I'm fine."

She doesn't let him protest and just runs past him to help their other fighters.

Itha curses, quickly stands up and continues his fight. He will check on her later but not now.

 _She can last a little longer on her own._ He tries to reassure himself.

xxXxx

He looks around for Evelyn, where could she be? He and Eola were too busy caring for the wounded so he had forgotten about checking on her. And now that people had finally started cleaning up the after-march of this fight, Itha just can't fight Evelyn anywhere.

He vaguely remembers that she was around to heal some of their warriors, her arm was still haphazardly wrapped in some bandages back then. She has fought so hard for them, and he feels ashamed to think that he had viewed her simply as a human just like any other of her kinds.

He will find her, heal her and then ask if she wants to stay with them. She has been alone long enough already.

Looking around one of the big boulders, he finally finds Evelyn next to a large tree, her back turns to him. Judging from the magic he feels in the air, she is trying to heal herself.

"Evelyn, why didn't you come to me so I could heal you?" He calls, making Evelyn jump. She quickly turns around to face him. Her left forearm pressed protectively against her front.

"Itha, I-I thought you are helping Eola?" She babbles. "The camp is a mess, they will need you to help reorganize it!"

"I still have enough time to heal my friend." He smiles, holding his hand to reach for her arm. "Come now, I know you are very tired so let me help with that."

But she recoils from him, shaking her head. "I'm fine, really."

Her reaction tells him otherwise, and with the fire of battle still not quite fades away in him, Itha quickly finds himself feeling irritating at his friend's reaction.

He quickly grabs her arm. "This is not the time to be stubborn, Evelyn!"

They struggle against each other but even with his exhausted self, Itha is still strong enough to come out victorious. He pulls Evelyn's forearm up—

—and sees a soulmark on her wrist. Even with it being smeared by the dry blood, the letters still very clear for him to recognize them.

Fen'Harel.

Before he could think clearly, Itha already finds himself dropping Evelyn's wrist down and backs away from her.

His heart beats wildly in his chest. For a moment, he thinks that he just had a hallucination but looking at Evelyn and realizes the clear horror on her face, he knows that everything he saw is real.

"Evelyn, y-you are— "

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" She cries out, tears start to stream down her face as she looks at him.

But he doesn't know how to react.

Even when Evelyn runs away, he is still standing there, trying to make senses of everything. He wants to run after her, but there is a fear that roots him to his spot.

Betrayal. Disasters. Lies. Selfish. Dangerous.

All the things he had learned about Fen'Harel echo in his head and still do so even when an elder comes to drag him back to the camp.

xxXxx

Itha cannot sleep. The scene this evening keeps playing back and forth in his head. He tries to connect Evelyn with Fen'Harel and yet at the same time he wants to deny it.

Her hesitancy of talking about her soulmate, her interest in elvhen culture—especially in the Evanuris and the Dread Wolf, her implication that no ones in her tower wanted to be friend with her… her reaction to his opinion about Fen'Harel…

Everything makes so much sense now that he knows what to look for. But he simply doesn't know what to do with this discovery.

He is afraid, that is obvious. The soulmate of the Wolf is here, within this camp. The chosen one of the God of Misfortune! He just cannot imagine what would happen if her presence invites the Trickster here, what would be fallen upon Itha's people.

But then he remembers Evelyn's anguish face when he discovered her secret. There were undeniable fear and guilt and despair in her eyes.

He then remembers the days she spent with this clan. How she was so eager to learn from them. The way she laughed with the children. The way she interacted with the hallas. The warm and delicious food she spent so much time to prepare and cook for him and Eola. The appreciation in her eyes every time someone did something nice to her. The bravery she had displayed when she fought to protect this camp.

She is not someone who would wish for misfortune upon someone else…

Itha thinks and thinks and thinks… and when the morning comes, he finally decides what he will do.

He will find Evelyn. He will apologize for the way he acted. He will heal her if she still needs it. And he will ask if she wants to stay with him and this clan.

xxXxx

"She left."

Eola's words feel like a bucket of cold water splashed to his face.

"What do you mean 'she left'?" He gritted his teeth.

"I didn't come back to my place last night, still too many things to do. When I did, I found this." His mentor holds out a piece of paper to him.

' _I'm so sorry. Please do not worry, I will not come back. Thank you for everything.'_ Is what written in the note.

Itha tries to run and find Evelyn but Eola stops him. She says softly, "It's useless, dalen. That child is too hurt to think she can be accepted here. And she probably had gone too far for you to seek her out… Poor thing, I had hoped that we could give her some happiness with that fate she is enduring."

Suddenly, something clicks in Itha. Turning around, he could see guilt in Eola's eyes and then he knows. "You knew from the beginning who Evelyn is, didn't you?" He snaps out, trying to hide the accusing tone but fail.

Eola nods, she then bids him sit down. With a voice heavy with sadness, she begins, "It was long ago so you probably not remember. But nearly twenty years ago, our clan had camped in Ostwick. The people didn't like us there, so I had thought we wouldn't stay around long, just enough to gather more resources and some research from the ruins there."

He does recall somewhat that there was a period when they stayed in one place for an unusually long period of time—for more than five years, in fact."

His hahren continues, "But after a few months, Bann Trevelyan summoned me. He asked me to translate the soulmark of his newborn daughter. In exchange, our clan could stay for far longer without any troubles and even allow to trade in his city. The child was lovely and healthy, but when I saw her mark, I was shocked to my very core."

"The child's soulmark is Fen'Harel." Itha simple states and Eola nods.

"Indeed. And Bann Trevelyan knew that something was amiss right away when he saw my reaction. He demanded that I told him the truth. I couldn't lie so I told him everything I knew about the Dread Wolf. About his reputation as a God of Disaster, the Betrayer, and the one who brought misfortune to everything. When I left, I was shaken, thinking that I had just pushed a baby to her death—I thought that her noble human parents wouldn't let her live after such a revelation."

"But they didn't?"

"They didn't. For the seven years, we stayed in Ostwick, I never heard any announcement about the death of his daughter. There were just rumors about her frail health and that she needed to be confined in her mansion at all time since she was too weak. Obviously, I knew the truth but there were no reasons to tell that to anyone."

"And then?"

"We get to stay in that region for seven years. Until the news came that Bann Trevelyan's youngest daughter turned out to be a mage and had been moved to the Circle of Magi." Eola lets out a humorless laugh. "It made sense, really. Of course, the soulmate of an Elvhen god would have to be a mage. But either way, I thought that perhaps the debt with Bann Trevelyan had finally come to an end with Evelyn being sent away, so I had everyone to pack up and move away to a new place."

She stays silent for a moment, her thumb stroking the piece of paper Evelyn had left to them. Eventually, she speaks up, "I thought about that child quite often all these years. I do not know if her existence will herald the arrival of Fen'Harel or not but the fact that the Dread Wolf has a human soulmate had made me realize that this world is more unpredictable than I had thought it could possibly be. That belief was then reinforced when you came back that day with Evelyn on your back. It wasn't that hard to recognize her, she looks very much like her mother. And then while she was sleeping, I checked her wrist just to be sure."

Ah, if he remembered correctly, Eola was in the middle of tucking Evelyn's arm in when he came inside to check…

"Why did you want her to stay, back then?" asks Itha.

"Because I wanted to know more about her—the bride of a god of our people, human and disaster or not, it was a good thing to have more understanding about such an individual. And also because of my guilt, I was the reason for her imprisonment during the first seven years of her life. I knew it wasn't my fault for what happened to her later, but I could have given her a better childhood before that. And then the months Evelyn stayed with us had shown me that she is a gentle and kind child that doesn't deserve to be shunned like that. I've-I want to give her a place to stay, to show that there is happiness for her in this world."

"Why didn't you tell me that from the beginning? I could've helped Evelyn in better ways, I'd made her feel more welcome here and she would know that she could stay."

"Would you? Really? If you know from the beginning that she is linked to the God of Misfortune, would you still want to have her here with us until her leg is healed? Or would you try to find a way to get rid of her first?"

Eola's words cut into him and Itha feels shame constricts around his heart. The disappointment in himself is more painful than any knife wounds he had received yesterday. From the beginning, he had only allowed himself to be closed and get to know Evelyn and her friendship because he saw her just as a human. Had he known anything else, these past months would have gone in a very different direction.

He knows the answer to Eola's questions very well, and he cannot lie. "No, I wouldn't want her to stay at all…"

Eola simply nods. The small space sinks into another silent moment until he asks, "Where do you think Evelyn will go?"

His Keeper just shakes her head, "I do not know. Perhaps she will go to some ruins and continue her research as she said, but we cannot predict which lands would she travel to first. At the very least, she won't join the Mage Rebellion. Let's hope that all the things you have taught her will help the girl take proper care of herself."

Sighing, Itha leans back against the wall and nods, praying that Evelyn will be safe with her new knowledge just like Eola hopes.

xxXxx

All elves are talking about the confirmation that Inquisitor Trevelyan is the soulmate of Fen'Harel, but her mark has not turned red yet. Apparently, some kind of Tevinter cult had kidnapped her to perform some sacrificial ceremony in an attempt to release an Old God but the Inquisition has managed to stop them just in time.

There is also the news that Trevelyan has taken an elven apostate to be her lover, even allowing him to live in her own chambers with her; Itha is glad that Evelyn has finally found love but the other elves, including his own clan members, aren't quite pleased with the news. They say that it is bad that she is turning her back to the Dread Wolf which could be very dangerous in the future it could provoke the Wolf's wraith. Other elves think that she is refusing her duty of bringing back a god of theirs and thus, she and her elven lover are traitors to them (so those elves think she is one of them even though she is human?). There also are other opinions that brings nothing but headaches and arguments so Itha doesn't really want to think about them much.

Itha himself tries not to talk about it too often despite the pushes from his people that perhaps he should contact Evelyn herself, she used to live with them after all. Some have pointed out that judging from the fact that the Inquisition members have been helping them a lot, obviously Evelyn still cares about their clan but Itha doesn't want to make her life harder than it is. He knows that if he pulls the whole clan to become an official ally with the Inquisition, it'd make it appears that elves are flocking to the organization to serve a heretic god (or at least his herald) and it most likely won't end well for them.

Eola, blessed her heart, had told him before passing away peacefully in her sleep two years ago that the only regret she had was Evelyn and how much the elderly woman wished that the girl could be happy. In order to honor that wish while still caring for the clan, Itha had decided that he won't say or contribute anything to the rumors that will jeopardize her cause, and will just help the Inquisition whenever he can (like helping Circle mages who traveling through this area to go to Skyhold).

Even so, it'd be nice to meet Evelyn again… and to say sorry…

xxXxx

Evelyn is dead, killed by her so-called soulmate. Her lover was killed two years before that.

The organization she built has been disbanded, her legacy crumbling as there're calling for the mages to be imprisoned again. Even her last deed against the Qunari's invasion is quickly ignored or dismissed by others.

This world is cruel and unfair, and yet he cannot stop here. He continues to lead his clan to help others despite everything. He still tells the stories of all the good thing Evelyn and the Inquisition have accomplished.

He cries whenever he remembers that he still hasn't said sorry to her.

xxXxx

Evelyn is still alive, and she and Fen'Harel are calling for all of them!

There are talks, discussions—many clans are gathering to argue whether they should plead themselves to Fen'Harel's cause or not. The god's agents had appeared and gave them evidences—or the truth—about Elvhenan and Arlathan. Slaves, Blood-writing, the Evanuris who wanted to corrupt and seized the world all for themselves at the cost of their own people.

Everyone is having a crisis now.

Some elves think that they cannot trust the Betrayal. Some others believe the agents and want to go right away for the sake of a new home. Some want to wait a little more to see. But the most divisive topic is about allowing human mages to be part of their new homeland.

"We cannot allow the humans to join us. It was the Imperium that destroyed our homeland!" One Keeper says.

"Those mages who follow Fen'Harel are Circle mages and I've met many of them. They don't see themselves as humans or elves, just mages. They can be a great ally to us." Another Keeper retorts.

"Those mages still believe in the Maker, they will force their religion on us." Comes one opinion.

"It's not like we have any gods left to worship if what Fen'Harel said about the Evanuris is true. And the Dread Wolf did promise he will do something about the Chantry." And then another.

"True. And if we close ourselves to others like the elves of the Dales back then, it will most likely bring out another fall to us."

"I refuse to let the humans tainted our blood. They want to breed us to extinction."

"You fool. Didn't you remember the ones that came to meet us? It was a true half-elf with his full-blooded son, there was no way to deny it. If we can increase our numbers by taking human bondmates then so be it!"

"Even if the mages are in much smaller number than us now, what would stop them from trying to usurp us in the future? Do not forget that the leader of their faction is Lord Fen'Harel's bondmate, Inquisitor Trevelyan—a human!"

"I've met Lady Evelyn before. She is an honorable person, she won't let that happen."

"You just met her a few times, how can you be so sure?"

"And you have never met her, what would you know about her?"

With Evelyn's name comes up, Itha ends up joining the argument. In the end, after three days and nights, most of the clans, including the Aridhel decide to join the Dread Wolf's force. The other few who refused simply leave, but Itha has a terrible feeling that maybe one day they will meet again in a less-than-favorable circumstance.

But no matter what, they don't really have much time to ponder on that. The agents had just given all of them the instructions for their travel. There are more pressing matters to be attended to.

xxXxx

It is dawn and they are coming close to the valley, everything here would look rather normal to a person with no magic, but for a mage like him, he could feel the magic pouring like water from the path they currently walk on, shielding them the eyes of outsiders. It is incredible!

A group of elves and humans stand at the end of the path. In the middle of them is a small figure with black cloak covered their entire body and a mask over their face, it's must be the leader.

"Welcome, people of clan Aridhel, Alerion, Mahvirlen, and Evunial. You have come a long way." The masked person says, their voice distorted by magic. "Please follow me."

With a wave of their hand, the trees and ground behind them move to reveal a new wide path. Everyone walks into it and as they go, the path they leave behind gradually disappears, covered up by grasses, trees and rocks just like before.

Eventually, they meet a large wall of a standing cliff, and the mages come forward to cast their magic.

Before their eyes, the rock starts to shift and part like fabric and water, opening into a gigantic gage before them. Whispers of wonders and excitements arise behind Itha and the other Keepers' back and they only become louder when everyone has come inside and the gate had changed back into a cliff.

It is a beautiful valley.

He could see everything from here—the fields are tiny specks of figures working on them, the building and tents where smoke and the smell of metal come up, the great structure at the end of the valley that built into the mountain and perhaps grown deep into the underground.

But what is most impressive of all is the great opening floating in the sky. It isn't quite like the Rifts he had seen before, the magic coming out of it feel very stable. There are no sights of demons here and the few spirits he sees floating around seems quite safe and benevolent. Itha wonders if this is what it would feel like to the whole world once the Veil finally disappeared.

The masked leader comes near Itha and the other Keepers. They say as they point to a sloping path that seems to build specially for wagons and carriages, "Please take you clans down this path, it will lead you to the area to rest your wagons. Lord Fen'Harel will speak to all of you soon in front that building at the North so please wait until after that to settle down your camps. We will provide you all with more resources. Do you have any other questions?"

The other Keepers voice their inquiries and the leader answers everything dutifully. When it's Itha's turn, he smiles and asks, "We are already inside, why are you still covering up like that, Evelyn?"

Everyone stiffens at his question, even the masked person. But then, their hands slowly reaching up to pull off their hood and mask, revealing a blushing Evelyn. She looks only slightly older than the last time he saw her, but still retaining her innocent appearance. Oh, wait, her face does seem a little fuller than before. She must have taken good care of herself.

"How did you…" she murmurs.

"Of course I would know." He laughs.

Evelyn seems to have taken his cheerfulness as a good sight because she gives him a small smile. She opens her mouth to say something but stops, seemingly being distracted by something as she turns to look at the headquarter building.

Turning back to him, she says with a small apologetic smile, "So-Fen'Harel calls me, I must go now. Sorry. I will see you later."

She quickly leaves. Once she has disappeared, one of his fellow Keepers approach him, "You weren't lying when you said you know her."

Itha smiles. "I hope I still know enough about but I would love to learn more."

xxXxx

Fen'Harel is addressing everyone from the highest dais with Evelyn standing next to him as his equal. Itha could see that the years have indeed changed her for the better now that he has more times to observe. She looks much more confident now, her eyes still look straight ahead but the fire he has seen back then before their fight against the slaver is now present so strongly in her expression. More importantly, she is smiling brilliantly and full of life.

As the Dread Wolf finishes his part, he looks to Evelyn as she starts her own speech to welcome all the new the mages and elves. The scene makes Itha grin.

 _You have truly changed, my friend!_

Some hours later, Itha is now giving out orders and instructions to the people of his clans on what they need to do with the area has been assigned to them. Right now, it's mostly unpacking and setting up the usual tents, but he himself needs to work on the missions the higher ups just gave them—who will be sent to the forger and the crafting houses, who will work on the fields, who will take care of the kids (who are already starting to have shoot sparks from their fingers), who to be sent to the apothecary unit, etc. He hasn't even started with checking and distributing the supplies they just received!

 _Mythal helps me but I don't think I will have time to even have lunch today!_

He laments silently to himself but stops when he sees Evelyn walking toward him. This time, instead of looking like the confident leader he saw this morning, she appears to be quite nervous and timid—he knows because her jaw is clenching and she has her hands crossed behind her back.

 _Maybe you have not changed that much, after all._

He smiles, waiting for her to arrive in front of him and simply looks at her.

Evelyn fidgets under his gaze before speaking up softly, "H-hello again, Itha. I'm s-sorry…"

Rather than letting her finish, he lurches forward to wrap his arms around her to give her a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so glad you are well, Evelyn," he says gently, trying to convert to her that he is simply happy to see her again.

Letting go, he sees that Evelyn is staring at him in astonishment. That makes him laugh. "What? Did I change that much? Even more handsome than before that you just have to words to say?"

"You… are not mad?" she mumbles.

"I was worried." He signs, scratching the side of his head. "You were injured and just disappeared like that, it drove me crazy. It was only after I heard you've become the Inquisitor that I knew you were still alive."

"I'm so sorry!" Evelyn blurts out. "I didn't contact you at all after I ran away. I just thought that you didn't want to have anything to do with me… since I am Fen'Harel's soulmate and all. During my time in the Inquisition, the whole world was talking about it, so…"

"Well, to be honest, I was really surprised when I saw your soulmark. But the next morning, I was already calm down enough to go find you. But you were not there anymore." He takes hold of her shoulders. "And it turned out that Keeper Eola has already known who you are from the beginning."

"What?"

"Trust me, I didn't believe it the first time it came out of her mouth either."

"But, how did she know? Why…"

"Because she was…" Itha trails off as he sees Fen'Harel walks toward them, drawing the attention of everyone in the camp. Up-close, Evelyn's bondmate is even more impressive, regal and respectable, and one could see clearly the love in his eyes as he looks at Evelyn.

"My Wolf, finished work so soon?" Evelyn raises an eyebrow, but she still smiles as the Dread Wolf snakes his arm around her waist.

"I suppose I could push back my schedule a little bit to greet the one who had shelter my bondmate." Evelyn's bondmate replies, pressing a kiss to the corner of her eye.

"My lord," Itha bows respectfully. "It is an honor."

The Wolf returns with a slight dip of his head. "Keeper Itha, I thank you for what you have done for my Evelyn."

Was it just him or did Itha just see a glint in Fen'Harel's eyes?

"It is nothing, my Lord. Lady Evelyn has helped to save us back then."

"Stop it with the 'lady', Itha. I'm just Evelyn to you." His friend purses her lips.

"Well, I'm not sure if—"

"My bondmate would love that you do so, hahren. You are her friend, after all." Fen'Harel speaks up and Itha knows that he cannot refuse. Not that he actually wants anyway—he was just following normal etiquette.

So Itha cheerfully says, "If you both insist then as you wish."

Fen'Harel nods in satisfaction before saying, "Good, now, please pardon us but we must return for our duties. It is a busy day, after all."

Evelyn's expression falls a little bit but she quickly recovers herself. "I will see you tomorrow then. There is a lot of things I want to talk with you."

Before she can turn around, Itha catches her hand.

"Before you go, Evelyn. I want to say sorry."

"For what?"

"For not stopping you from running away back then. For not reassure that it doesn't matter who you are, you are first and foremost my friend. I'm sorry for not giving you what you needed."

Evelyn just stands there, frozen by his words but when she finally moves, she launches herself forward to hug him.

"You've already given me what I needed back then. You had called me your friend. So thank you."

They hold each other for a while until he let her go. Fen'Harel quickly comes close to hold Evelyn's shoulders as she wipes the corners of her eyes, his face tender and full of love and that reassures Itha greatly.

As Itha stands there and watches as the Dread Wolf takes Evelyn away, he feels his shoulders lighten significantly. His heart warms at that way Evelyn's bondmate is holding her hand, their fingers laced together tightly and lovingly.

But then he sees Fen'Harel turns his head back and shoots a glare at Itha out of the corner of his eyes, his brow frowning just enough to indicate that he's not happy.

Oh… _Oh_.

Varan steps to stand next to Itha, shaking the former's shoulder lightly. "You okay there, Itha?"

As sweat dripping down the back of his neck, Itha groans as he wipes his face, "Fuck."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Solas hates having conflicting feelings. He always likes to always be sure of himself and to be in control, which is why he is feeling very irritating right now—because he cannot stop the urge to send a certain person flying out of this building.

Of course, he is always happy whenever he sees Evelyn's beautiful smile, but he cannot help but hate the fact her smile is pointing at the Keeper of clan Aridhel, Itha.

Solas has never had this particular trouble before. During the days they still in the Inquisition, he has never once feeling jealous whenever Evelyn was having fun with someone else—whether it was Dorian, the Iron Bull, Black Wall or even Cullen, not once had he felt anything other than gratitude for the men who cared for his bondmate.

And now, he is silently fuming as he watches from afar who Evelyn is laughing at another joke from the young hahren.

It is unbecoming, childish and idiotic—not to mention unfair—but ever since Solas realized that he is neither Evelyn's first friend nor her first mentor, he has already carried a certain dislike for Itha even before actually meeting the young man. It is unreasonable, Solas knows—he understands that he should be happy that there was someone who cares about Evelyn before him, he should focus on the fact that Evelyn just gets another person she could actually call a friend here instead of just followers and—

Evelyn takes Itha's hands into hers and already, Solas is calling to her.

"Vhenan."

She turns around, dislocating Itha's hands from her in the process. Evelyn smiles brightly as she quickly runs to Solas. "My Wolf, welcome back!"

Easily, she comes into his arms and lets him wrap them around her. Yes, this is right—her being in his arms, allowing only him to touch her.

Solas presses a kiss to the top of Evelyn's head, shooting a scowl at Itha in the process. The young man gulps visibly—good, at least he is aware of his position.

Evelyn, still oblivious, nuzzling into Solas's neck before saying, "Itha was telling about a hidden ruin in the far northern Orlais with a small Eluvian there. Maybe we can try to reactivate it and use that to make a new route to transport rescued slaves? He even discovered some rare specimens of plants there. I can go there myself! Itha said he can lead the way!"

Solas simply smiles—luck is on his side, he was actually going to draft some missions in around that region. Cupping Evelyn's cheek, he suggests, "Then how about we go there together? There are several other places I know which have hidden resources. I've been sending agents to collect them but perhaps, we can actually supervise the activities there ourselves for once? I can show you some old products the artisans of Elvhenan used to make."

His bondmate's eyes immediately brightened at that. "That would be absolutely wonderful!" she exclaims, turning her head to look at Itha. "Isn't it great, Itha!? Solas can show us how to use all the things you've found there!"

Itha smile (nervously), the corners of his mouth work hard to keep pointing up as he says, "Y-yes, it's wonderful."

And so, that little problem is settled and Solas quickly urges Evelyn to return back to their chambers with him, citing that it is already late enough and he wants to spend the rest of the night with her.

His bondmate, of course, finds it to be an excellent reason to finally say goodbye to Itha…

… But not before giving the young Keeper a kiss on the cheek and a promise to see him again tomorrow when they have another debrief with all the Hahren.

As they walk away, Solas makes sure to turn his head back and throws another glare at Itha. He believes the young man is smart enough to avoid Evelyn's excessive affection the next time they meet but it doesn't hurt to give a warning.

xxXxx

After dinner, they spend their time on the long couch, waiting for their bath to fill and heat up on its own. Solas, for once, decides to try out another one of Varric's books (a story about a pair of father and daughter traveling through time) while Evelyn continues on her little project, softly singing Shalelan's song all the while. She has recently learned the art of embroidery magic into fabrics and has tasked herself with the job of mending and improving his wardrobe during her free times as a way of practicing. Evelyn can only do basic enchantments right now; things such as increasing durability, warming and cooling magic but nevertheless, it brings Solas a tender joy to see her enjoying herself like this.

Between trying to get into Varric's curious style of writing (not mentioning his strange character interpretation based on the Inquisition's members), Solas takes little moment to observe his bondmate—her face is so focused as she weaves tiny traces of magic into each pull of her needle, her breathing is slow and even, and the way she gently handling his garment speak greatly of how much she cares for him. It's so warm and peaceful, to be here with the one he loves, enjoying their little domestic moment despite everything they had to experience.

He cannot help but think about the day when they can finally add more members into this family when the world has become a safer place for his people and mages—he can easily visualize how Evelyn would sit there near the fireplace just like now, her hands would be working on tiny little shirt, her stomach rounded and full of a new life they would make together. Instead of lounging opposite to her, he would be on his knees, head pressing against her stomach to feel the movements and the little spark of magic their child would have.

That want in him burns hotly to the point of almost painful, but he cannot help but trying to imagine that scenario more often these days when everything is going so well with their progress. Even though he knows things may go wrong at any moment, even though he cannot predict when would that future can finally be realized…

Evelyn's little chuckle yanks Solas from his thought. Sitting straight up, he asks playfully, "Something amusing, vhenan?"

"Varan told me today that Itha actually tried to experiment with his cooking but accidentally created exploding bread instead." She laughs. "And they still use some of the remaining pieces as whetstones and carving knives since they are so hard! Can you believe it?! I know Itha isn't that good with his food but to think he could go that far—" She snorts, unable to finish her sentence.

He watches until Evelyn finishes her laughing. When she finally does, a tender smile appears on her face that once again giving him two conflicting emotions.

"Itha hasn't changed, and he still wants to be my friend. It still feels so much like a dream." Evelyn says quietly. "My very first friend is here still here with me. He accepts me and even you! I have thought so many times before of all the 'what ifs' I could have with Itha, to think that I could have the best outcome…"

"Evelyn…" Solas is unsure of what to say but before he can find his words, the magic flowing from the bathroom stops, signaling their bath is ready.

"Finally!" Evelyn exclaims. Quickly get out of her solemn mood, she gets up and pulls his arm. "Come, come, we need to get out of these clothes."

It doesn't take long for Solas to find himself soaking up to his waist in the steaming water, enjoying the smell of refreshing herbs as Evelyn washes and massages his back while they sit on the shallow part of the large bath. All the fatigue of the day finally leaves him, but as expected, he can't really completely relax as he recalls what Evelyn has said just moments before.

She has mentioned that she did imagine what kind of possibilities that could happen between her and Itha; and of course, being as old and as imaginative as he is, Solas is unable to stop himself from assuming that at some points in the past, his bondmate has thought about having something with the young Hahren that would be beyond mere friendship.

His mind is running through all the possibility that could have happened had Evelyn didn't run away from clan Adrihel that day if Itha had accepted her right away instead of waiting until the next day to do so.

Perhaps she would never have come to the Temple of the Sacred Ashes and he and Evelyn would never meet? Or they would do so only until after he has completely pulled the Fade back and clan Adrihel comes to plead their alliance to his. Perhaps that by that point, she would have already married to someone; or even if she doesn't, Solas would most likely not having the courage to pursue her with so many elves around them…

Or maybe even if she could stay with that Dalish clan, Evelyn's wish to study and taking down the Veil would prevent her from truly enjoying her life with them. Maybe she would eventually leave after a while to chase her own goal and in the end, still ending up meeting Solas through her accident with his Orb.

Then Solas thinks about what could happen if Evelyn had stayed longer with Itha. Would she fall in love with the Keeper after he accepted her just like Solas did back then? Would she find it easier to live a quiet life with a normal man and have children any time she wants instead of having to wait until the right time as she does now with Solas? Would she be happy with Itha who, while cannot teach her everything she wants to learn, cares about her and can make her laugh just like Solas?

Solas can give his bondmate a lot of things, but he knows he will never be able to give her complete peace. As long as they are together, she will have to bear—will ask to bear— the burden that he is carrying and with his old age, he knows his job for the People will never be quite finished one way or another.

Finally, the image of Evelyn holding Itha's hands crashes into his mind. Solas knows that Evelyn loves him—only him—but sometimes, he cannot help but feel that their link as soulmate has robbed her of things that she could have had as a woman. Had she born without his name, she would be raised as a normal noble daughter, strict and constraint, but there would still be things that she could enjoy; namely friends and lovers. But because she was born to be his, she had never had a chance to experience and discover herself intimately with others.

Solas has greatly enjoyed teaching his soulmate everything about sex and, from the beginning, things were (almost) always perfect between the two of them. But there are pleasures for a person to learn everything on their own with different people, one could even say that failures in sex are simply another kind of fun and learning opportunity that a person should have in their lifetime.

But Evelyn has never known any of those. She knows about casual sex and the sexual-but-non-romantic bonds between friends, but he doubts that she can truly understand or knows what those actually be like to live with that kind of freedom. But now, she has a good friend that will follow her, someone she could rely on other than him to share her burden…

A hand touches his face, making Solas realize that Evelyn has moved to kneel in front of him. Her face shows an obvious concern.

"Are you all right, my Wolf?" She asks.

Solas looks at his bondmate—he could see all the marks he has left on her. The thoughts of someone else doing the same thing to Evelyn create a hot and heavy pressure in his chest that threatening to become a full-blown fury, but he holds it down and reminds himself that Evelyn deserves better than a selfish bondmate who only thinks of his own gain. If she can be happy but just staying a little bit with someone else, then there are no reasons for him to hold her back.

Then again, perhaps the reason he can do what he is about to do is that he knows that Evelyn will always return to him in the end… And if he can be even more honest, he has great confidence that no man could please her as much as he does.

No. Focus. This is not the time to flatter his own ego. He needs to speak up right now before his jealousy and possessiveness overtaking his mind.

"Vhenan," he says, taking hold of her hand on his cheek. "You like Itha, don't you?"

"Yes," she answers cheerfully. "He means a lot to me. I'm really glad he's finally here!"

"Then, if you like, you can initial physical intimacy with him. I do not mind." He lies at the last part, channeling his talent to make his words as natural as possible.

"What?" Evelyn's face immediately turns blank.

Solas sighs, here comes the hard part. "I mean what I said, vhenan. If you like Itha that much, it is all right for you to enjoy sex with him. Just because we are bondmate me does not mean you have to limit yourself only to me. It is okay for you to broaden your experience."

Now her face pales significantly. With a very small voice, she slowly asks, "Did I do something wrong? Are my skills inadequate anywhere?"

"No! I didn't mean that!" He exclaims in panic, realizing that his wording has caused Evelyn to assume that he finds her lacking. Holding both of her shoulders, Solas explains quickly. "You have given me unimaginable satisfactions, vhenan. I simply want to give you an option, a chance to enjoy yourself. I…"

He slows down, taking a breath to control himself. He needs to make his point clear or Evelyn won't understand him—he knows this from experience and has no intentions of repeating his mistake like before. Solas begins, "I know you dislike hearing this but there is no denying that being born as my soulmate has taken away a lot from you. You have never had a chance to simply enjoying pleasure for the sake of it or to exploring yourself and your preferences. Sex doesn't have to be connected with romance, it can be simply for fun. Itha is a good man and you care for him a lot; so if you are attracted enough to him, I believe you can also have fun with him in that way too."

Evelyn thinks a little bit before she looks at him again, this time more shyly. "If I… sleep with him, won't you get jealous?"

Solas exhales and replies honestly. "I will. But I can bear with it if you can be happy. You have always been so understanding and patient with me, vhenan. So many times, you hear stories and rumors about my 'conquests'—sometimes even from my own mouth—and yet never once you become angry at them or me. For all the happiness and comforts you have given me, the least I could do is to not get in your way when you need to enjoy yourself."

A short silence passes between them until Evelyn lets out a long sigh. Then, she pulls him down for a long, loving kiss. Solas leans into her embrace, wondering if this is her way of thanking before she actually accepts his offer.

He is half-confirmed when she leans back, a guilty look on her face. But her next words throw him off.

"I shouldn't have teased you so much like that. Then again, I should have after the first time seeing you scared Itha off his wits. But it was so much fun!"

"What?" This time, it is his turn to have blank look on his face.

Evelyn chuckles, face seems like she is being torn being guilt and amusement. "I really like to see you get all jealous and possessive over me. And Itha's reactions to you are simply too fun to pass up. The way he squirms under your gaze was absolutely hilarious."

Things click into place in Solas's head as he narrows his eyes at her. "Really, vhenan? You know the whole time and yet didn't find it necessary to stop me?"

Evelyn just presses a knuckle to her lips and look at him innocently. Or at least she is trying to. Her shoulders tremble and her cheeks slightly puffed up—she is clearly trying hard to not burst out laughing.

Solas grits his teeth, pinching slightly between his brows. How could he forget that Evelyn has a very well-hidden mischievous side? He could even say that his bondmate is a little sadistic when she feels like it (and if she could get away with it), what else could you call someone who likes to mess around with Cassandra, play pranks with Sera, and had actually turned a Grand Duchess into a jester? The fact that she once owned a book devoted purely for pranking magic should have alarmed him long ago.

Still, they need to finish their current matter, even if it did originate from a prank.

"Even so, vhenan," he starts, "my offer still stands. If you want to sleep with Itha or anyone else that you like, I won't stop you. You deserve to have a chance to enjoy yourself without me holding you back."

"But I don't want anyone but you, my silly Wolf." Evelyn presses her body against him, arms stroking his back as she whispers into his ear. "It is so generous and kind of you, but there is no one else that can touch me but you. I don't need them. Not before. Not now. And not at any points in the future."

"Vhenan," Solas chides, "At least you should give it some thoughts."

"But I did. I have thought a couple of times before what it would be like to have my eyes on someone else besides you. To be honest, even when I know for sure that you will let me have my way, the notion is still very unappealing to me." She states calmly, eyes clear and focus, letting him know that she is very serious. "I've tried imagined what it would feel like to be touch by another man, but I felt nothing, and sometimes even disgusted by that thought. During my years in the Inquisition, I've met so many men who are passionate in their quest for knowledge, but just like before, none could attract my gaze as you did."

Taking his hand, she presses a kiss to each of his knuckles. "Only you could make me feel alive. Only you could make me feel happy. And only you that I want to give my entire being to. I have no interest in finding someone else who could do that. Beside…"

She taps the tip of his nose. "Trust me when I say that I only see Itha as a friend, a brother even, but not someone I physically attracted to. So please stop scaring him."

He rolls his eyes. "You only say that after I have spent a month threatening him at almost any chances I got."

"Sorry, my bad." She giggles but a guilty expression appears on her face right after that. "All of these just prove that I am not kind or understanding as you said."

"What do you mean by that?"

Evelyn does not answer, she just gives him an unreadable smile as she pulls him up. "Come now, I think we should get out."

Once they have got out of the water, Solas casts a small wave of heat to dry both of them. Evelyn doesn't say anything the whole time, she just guides him back to their main bedroom.

When they arrive at the end of the bed, Evelyn gently takes his hand and presses it against her cheek. "You are always so kind to me. Even when you are feeling threatened and jealous, you still put my need first. And yet, I cannot do the same to you."

"What are you talking about, vhenan? You have always done the same for me. You pushed yourself out of your comfort zone for me. You have even tried to change yourself just to please me."

"But not enough to the extent that you could do." She reaches for his lips. Stroking from there to the middle of his sternum with a finger, Evelyn murmurs, "Think about it, my Wolf. Why did I choose to change myself instead of just offer you a chance to find a mistress on the side? Why did I seduce you in our office back then right after those females tried to offer themselves to you? Why did I enjoy you wanting to keep me all for yourself so much?"

Solas doesn't have a chance to reply because Evelyn immediately shoves him backward. He lands on the bed and quickly finds her above him.

He freezes when he the gaze of a predator on her face. Even the way she is crawling along his body reminds him of the way an animal moving toward its prey.

Solas tries to get up but Evelyn's hand once against pushes against his chest, forcing him to lie down as she looms over him.

She grabs his hand and holds it against the valley between her breasts. He could feel her heart thumping wildly underneath her scar. When Evelyn opens her mouth to speak, her voice is rough, as if she is trying to control something. "Before we belonged to each other, I truly didn't mind that much whenever you mentioned your old bedmates and conquests. But after that night when we first laid together in Skyhold, this is what I've been sealed away within myself."

Evelyn opens their link, and a torrent of flame and ice engulfs Solas's mind.

It hurts. It burns. It's too bitter. It's painful. It's too lonely. It claws at everything in its path and it hates itself. It wants everything and yet sees itself as unworthy.

 _Stop._

Jealousy, sadness, depression, anger, guilt, curiosity, denial, yearning, greed, loneliness, hatred, insecurity.

 _Stop!_

It feels as if darkness is pulling his senses away, a ringing sound seizes his ears, his whole body can't move and there is as if a mountain of ice covering him. Before his vision blurs away too much, Solas realizes that Evelyn is observing him without a single emotion on her face. She is completely as still as a statue above him, all most as if her own emotion has swallowed her own soul.

He tries to call out for her but couldn't, the sheer intensity of everything he is feeling rapidly consumes him.

His vision turns completely dark.

Abruptly, just as it has come, the assault stops.

And then he can breathe again. The heavy pressure has disappeared, leaving behind a numbing sensation. Solas blinks as his vision returns and it's only then that he realizes that Evelyn has slumped forward above him. Her arms are shaking as they work to hold her up. Her breaths are heavy and she is shaking lightly.

"Vhenan, are you all right!?" Solas exclaims. He quickly sits up to check his beloved, but she just grips his shoulders and squeezes gently in reassurance.

"It's okay. I just… I didn't realize that sharing my emotion to you could make me lose my own control over it. It took me by surprise, that's all," she murmurs, voice rasped and ashamed. "I'm so sorry."

Realizing that she is avoiding his gaze, Solas cups her cheek to guide her face back to him. "For what?" He asks.

"For making you feel all of that…" She replies softly, "For being such a selfish lover. For not being able to reciprocate what you have done for me."

"Vhenan…" Solas tucks Evelyn closer into his arms. Resting his chin on her head, he whispers, "I should have been the one who said sorry. I should have paid more attention to you. I was so insensitive to your feeling. All of those negative emotions, it must have been hard for you."

She moves to face him again. "It only feels so intense because our link amplified it. And Solas, it wasn't your fault. How could you know anything if I just stayed silent the whole time?"

"True, but I could have asked." He murmurs, pressing his forehead against hers. "Once again, we fell into our usual trap. We did not talk enough."

Evelyn just nods before going back to his embrace. They stay like that for a while more, letting the heat from each other's skin seeps into their own body.

Eventually, his bondmate asks, "Could you show me how you feel when you see me with another man?"

He opens the gate. The waves of his own jealousy, while not as strong as Evelyn's, shake both of them to their very core that Evelyn has to cling tightly to him.

It is extremely uncomfortable to release such a negative emotion and then receiving Evelyn's reaction to it but he does not have to endure it for long because Evelyn soon letting out a different emotion to sooth both of them.

Love.

It comes so sweet and gentle, and yet gradually, the harsh and bitterness in his soul just simply get swept away. Solas responds in kind, trying to send her all the devotion he could muster and how much he wants to make her happy.

Somehow, the two contradicting emotions merge together, and something sparks inside him.

It burns. Yet it is not the kind that would hurt. It is something different. Something that makes Solas wants more.

He tightens his arms around his bondmate, sensing the way she shivers in against him. The heat inside them is merely a small ember right now but he knows it can grow bigger with the right push.

Solas does not have time to do what he thinks because Evelyn suddenly drags him down to capture his lips.

Her kiss is rough, full of desire and the hunger in it stumbles him. Solas tries to reciprocate but he quickly finds himself on his back again. Evelyn continues to ravage his mouth, leaving him breathless while his urge to take control dismissing rapidly.

Solas attempts to grab Evelyn but his lover immediately holds his arms down. She leaves his mouth just far enough to hoarse out in elvhen, " _Don't move._ "

That feral, predatory look once again shows up on her face.

Evelyn gets off him to reach for the drawer next to their bed. When he sees her pull out two familiar strands of silk, he sucks in a deep breath. Usually, Evelyn is the one who gets to wear those around her wrists; though once in a while they do switching places too, but Solas has a feeling that this time will be a completely different experience.

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

 **(Ao3)**

The couple nuzzles against each other and when they part enough to see each other's face, they laugh. A small and gentle laugh that gleam with contentment and satisfaction.

"Ar lath ma, vhenan." Sighs Solas, the back of his knuckles tracing the curve of her flushed cheek.

"I love you, too." Evelyn's eyes twinkle with her reply. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired but refreshed. I have—ah, I have never allowed myself to do that before. A little bondage play, perhaps, and a little pretending play here and there; but never to fully submit myself and beg like that. I have never allowed myself to be weak, I could only be the one who led… but with you, I have discovered a new side of me." He chuckles at the last part.

"Glad to know that." Evelyn huffs proudly.

"About my offer…" Solas starts but halts himself when Evelyn gives him a frown. Instead, he says, "Not counting that one, is there you wish for right now? Anything that I can do for you, vhenan?"

She then thinks for a bit before asking, "If you actually want to make me happy, there is something I want."

"Anything you wish for, emma lath." He smiles, eager at the chance to please her once more.

"Turn into your wolf form! It's been a month since I last cuddled with you that way! And not in the Fade, I want you to shapeshift right now, while we are still awake." Evelyn exclaims gleefully, rubbing her hands together.

Solas blinks, and then concludes that he should not be surprised by Evelyn's simple wish. He should have expected it, to be honest. Ever since he received Mythal's power, Solas has regained his shapeshifting ability in the physical plane. Not that he could not do so during his time in the Inquisition but the form he could gain back then was just that of an ordinary wolf, no extra eyes a shadow power and giant statute so he has never felt the need to actually use it. Evelyn has been absolutely delighted by the revelation when he first mentioned it to her shortly after she returned to his side. For several months, at least once a week, he would shift and sleep with her as a wolf for a whole night. Lately, they had been so busy that they forgot this particular activity.

"Ma nuvenin, vhenan" Smiling, he nods. Magic envelops Solas in a cloak of shadow. Within a second, a giant wolf, four times the size of a normal one, is sitting on the bed in place of the elf.

Evelyn lets out a squeal of delight as she jumps at him, pressing herself against his chest. "You are so cute! So soft! I missed this so much!"

"I am not cute." He sniffs. "And do I not often using this appearance in the Fade whenever we need to contact the agents? You always spend the whole time kneading your claws into my back in that cat form of yours and then purring about how soft I am."

"Those times were different, we were at work. This is just for the two of us." Replies Evelyn, nuzzling her face into his black fur.

His eyes soften at her words. Only his bondmate can see anything other than danger and malice in the Six-eyed Wolf. Even if he still somewhat disagrees with her calling him adorable, there is a little bit of joy in Solas to know that his most important person could see something positive in him.

"It is time to rest, vhenan." He uses his nose to nudge at Evelyn before giving her a long lick that makes her laugh. After a little bit of rearranging, he is now taking over the whole top half of the bed, curling around a content Evelyn. Naked skin pressed against black fur. Her singing comes out softly, almost inaudible. Her fingers cake through his fur as Solas's six eyes slowly grow heavier each minute.

Suddenly, Evelyn says, "I will apology to Itha tomorrow…"

A moment of silence passes between them before Solas tilts his head to press closer against Evelyn. "I will do it together with you."

xxXxx

Itha stares blankly at Solas and Evelyn. As her promise, she had explained everything and apologized first. At the very least, she did look ashamed when she confessed her "little prank".

Seeing Evelyn's anxiety at Itha's reaction, Solas decides to do his part.

"Please accept my apologies, Keeper Itha." The Dread Wolf begins. "Even if Evelyn did have her fault, everything started because I could not control my emotion. It was unfair and unbecoming of me to have treated you so when you have done nothing wrong." Solas bows slightly, but that is enough to startle Itha.

"No, it is not a problem, my Lord!" The younger man holds up his hands in a defensive manner. "I just… I am just surprised. I've never thought Evelyn could be that mischievous. She was always so mild-mannered back when she stayed with my clan. But…"

Itha folds his arms and growls at Evelyn, who looks like she is shrinking in size. "Evelyn, of all the pranks you could think of, why did you have to choose the one that involved lord Fen'Harel in that way? For an entire month, I was seriously thought I would suddenly disappear one day!"

Evelyn's friend then proceeds to give her a lengthy lecture about the proper timing of jokes and manners and what can be considered a prank and what not. Usually, Solas does not like to see Evelyn in such a position but this time, he cannot really fault Itha. Especially when the young man is doing so not out of malice or anger, but more as an older brother wanting to guide his misbehaved little sister.

Eventually, Itha's lecture comes to an end with him saying, "And do not try pranks that make people think they're going to die for a whole long period like that."

"I'm sorry…" Evelyn mumbles, but Itha surprises both her and Solas when he steps forward to hug her after exhaling.

"Silly girl, I'm mad but not that mad so stop apologizing. I won't get too mad at you when you prank me again in the future, but please do take what I said in mind. And… I'm glad." Itha pulls back a little, his hands still on her shoulders. "You have finally opened yourself to me, let me see another side of you. I've never realized how much you have to repress yourself like that. Thank you and sorry for not understood you better back then."

Solas watches as tears gather at the corners of Evelyn's eyes. She embraces her friend with a big smile and the scene turns Solas's jealousy of the Keeper into gratitude.

"Keeper Itha," Solas speaks up, "Thank you for being so understanding to Evelyn. And once again, I want to apologize for my unreasonable reaction toward you."

Itha just laughs and wave it off. "It's okay, my Lord. I am no stranger to being the center of humor for everyone so I'm not that angry. As long as Evelyn doesn't try it again and choose something less severe, I'll be fine."

Evelyn winces slightly at the last part but Itha just smiles. He continues, "And please, Lord Fen'Harel, please call me Itha."

Solas's mouth curls up at the offer, "Then please call me Solas. It is my name, after all."

"Ahahaha, that's a little bit much since I'm just a Keeper and you are my leader and…" Itha scratches his head in embarrassment, which prompts Evelyn to chime in.

"Just call him 'Solas', at least in private if that's too much. I'm sure my Wolf is already tired of me being the only one here call him by his real name." She explains, her hand instinctively reaches for Solas's.

"'Solas', it is then?" Itha offers.

"That will do." Solas laughs lightly, his fingers squeeze Evelyn's small hand, feeling her warmth seeping into him. "That will do, Itha."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

* * *

The unbearable scent of rot and excrement assault Hallen the moment he opens the door—even if he is a slave and has gotten used to deal with cleaning up waste, there is something in this smell that makes him hesitate. It smells like death—almost like what he had had to face back then, during the last days of his mother.

But still, the young boy braves on and go inside the tiny jail. Fenan is in there, and Hallen needs to take care of his friend.

He tries to clean the other boy as best as he could with a single rag and small bucket of water. During the process, a sense of hopelessness and anger arise in his heart when Hallen notices that Fenan's wounds are getting worse. Pus mixed with blood keep coming out and the few bandages the other servants managed to gather for them are in dire need of a change.

Yet there is nothing they can do to get more wrapping clothes or potions. The best Hallen and the adult servants can do is to gather the few wild herbs in the corners of the garden; they can't go look for more since there's no forest in the middle of a city. They cannot go out to buy medicines either—slaves have no money, and the Master, after tucking back his whip that was still dripping with blood, has specifically ordered that no money or resources should be spent on an ungrateful thief.

All Hallen's friend has done was taking a piece of bread from the main table. Fenan couldn't help it, Hallen understands—his friend was too hungry because the Master forbade him food as a punishment for breaking a small dish.

Something bitter and overwhelming is crushing Hallen's chest. It is the same feeling he has back when his mother…

No. Fenan will be fine. Hallen will save some of his food so his friend can eat more. He will fetch more water to wash Fenan. He will even give Fenan his own blanket and pillow, even if they are all rag and dirty!

Hallen will do his best. So Fenan will be fine.

xxXxx

"How is he?" Rem asks Hallen when she comes down to the kitchen. Her hands still adjusting her clothes but her red hair is still mussed around her long ears. Everyone, even Hallen, knows the Master has taken a liking to her these days and no one says a word whenever she comes back late at night after everything has been cleaned up. It's not Rem's fault, he knows, if she refuses, she would end up just like the slave before her. Rem does her best to help the other servants, too.

"He's… okay… I think. He drank all the soup I gave him but…" Hallens answers, feeling like he's telling something untrue.

'It's not enough' hangs between them. They both know Fenan needs something more than just water cooked with kitchen scraps.

Rem sighs, reaching into the large pouch tied to her side and pull out some grapes and berries that she probably was given to by the Master as a favor for her service. "Here, eat," she says and Hallen's thoughts darkens when he recalls how his mother has done the same until she was too sick one day and dared to deny the Master…

Reluctantly, he takes the fruits and throws them into his bow of porridge. With a spoonful of it shoveled into his mouth, the sweet and sour taste spreads all over his tongue, making him feel a little better.

Rem frowns but doesn't say anything. She just looks into the pot on the stove before pouring a bowl. "I've got some bread too. Maybe dunking those into this will help fill Fenan's stomach better."

Hallen nods, trying to say something about the bandage but before he could, the door to the backyard opened and Marcus steps in.

He is large even for a human but with his limp right leg and mangle right hand, Marcus cannot become a fight for the Master. Instead, he mostly helps out in the garden, carrying stones for small constructions or to just pushing the cart for water, logs and fertilizer.

Hallen heard that the Master is preparing for something big and that he will move up the hierarchy soon, so the entire estate needed to be upgraded to suit his new position. For days now, Marcus has been carrying big bags of fertilizer into the basement to prepare for the reconstruction of the entire garden.

Marcus is kinda scary at first glance but Hallen really loves him because the big man often plays with him and other kids. Marcus often sneaks some fruits from the trees for them, too. Just like now when he pulls out a small apple for Hallen before turning to Rem, holding out a small bag. "I found some more elfroots and other stuff behind that old wall in the North. Here, you can make more salve."

Rem nods, as she is pulling out the herbs to check, the other servants come in the kitchen for their dinner. They quietly ask Hallen about Fenan before a few give him one or two morsels of food.

As Hallen tries to finish his meal, Rem gently pats his hair, murmuring so quietly, "It will be all right, little one. Everything will be all right. Just you wait. Just you wait…"

From the corner of his eye, Hallen thinks Marcus is nodding at Rem's words, too. But he doesn't pay much mind to it. He quickly stands up runs to find Fenan in the basement with his hands holding a tiny of food and a cup of salve. Everything will be okay!

xxXxx

It hurts to think about it, but Fenan is getting worse. He cannot eat anything at all. His fever just keeps burning.

Marcus and Rem will give him an earful if they know this. No, they would even ground him in the lower house for months, but Hallen needs to do this. He just needs to be quiet while sneaking into the lab, grab a potion or twos and then get back to the servants' quarters as fast as he can.

Hallen is in the middle of sifting through the bottles with labels that he can't read when he hears footsteps coming close. Instinct takes over, he throws himself into one of the closets, pressing his palm against his mouth and nose to quiet himself.

Since the closet is too small to let him press back too far from its door, Hallen can see everything through the gap. His short but pointy ears pick up the words easily.

The Master is out there; he didn't go to bed like usual and is talking about killing a Magister to two men!

Hallen's mind screams as he realizes he has heard something he wasn't supposed too.

In his panic, Hallen stumbles backward and collides with a large vase.

It falls and crashes into pieces on the floor.

The door immediately opens, and all Hallen could see is the Master whose face covered in shadow and rage.

xxXxx

It hurts so much! The Master keeps bringing down his whip and the pain of each lash doesn't have the time to fade before the next one comes.

Hallen tries to beg but he can't even open his mouth. The whip keeps coming down. The whole room is filled with screams, lashing sounds, the cursing from the Master and the laughter of the two men.

 _Someone! Please, help me!_

He screams and cries, even when he knows that it's useless. He has seen two servants being whipped like this before. They screamed and cried, too. Until they could no longer do so and the Master's rage has finally subsided.

Hallen has seen how the other servants disposed of those twos.

He will end up like that too…

The whip comes up again as Hallen closes his eyes, preparing himself for the pain.

But the pain doesn't come, instead, there is a strange, abrupt sound follows up by screams of panic.

Looking up, Hallen realizes a cloaked person is standing between him and the Master. The top of the whip is wrapping around their wrist, straining as the Master tries to pull it back. Behind them, the two assassins are fighting against two figures also covered with cloaks and masks.

The Master let out a snarl, he lets go of the whip to reach for his staff nearby. Several streams of lightning shot from it toward Hallen and the intruder but a wall of blue appears and stop them in their tracks.

The cloaked figure, without turning back, shouts at Hallen with a distorted voice in Common, "Hide yourself under one of the tables, it will be over soon."

Even with his body screaming in protest, Hallen still obeys and drags himself to a safe place. Wrapping his arms around his bloody body that is shaking with fear and pain, the boy watches as the fight escalates.

The Master does everything he could to attack, but Hallen's protector is gaining closer toward him with several kinds of fire and ice magic. Hallen has never seen a fight between two magic users before, but he knows that the Master is a powerful mage, so his opponent must also be very strong to make him panic like that!

Just as the intruder finally blasts the Master backward into the wall so hard that he cannot get up from his spot on the floor, their companions had finally finished off their own foes. It is then that Hallen notices that one of them is carrying a golden mage staff with a female statue on top of it, and the other one is holding two swords.

The one with the swords strolls over to the Master and stabs his still body in the back almost nonchalantly. Fear once again overtakes Hallen's mind that he remembers that these people are intruders and may very well kill him as he has seen them murdered the Master.

Just as he is thinking so, the person who has saved him knees down before the table and holds out their gloved hand. "You can come out now, little one," they say gently but the fear in him prompts Hallen to back away further into the wall.

He thinks that they would pull him out and start hitting him or worse just like the Master would often do, but the masked figure instead just drops their staff on the floor and pushes it away.

"It is all right, dalen. Please come out, your wounds need to be tended to." The voice comes from the mask is clearly female this time. It is soft and reassuring to the point that it reminds Hallen of his mother. This woman even calls him "dalen", too!

Realizing that this woman must be an elf to use that word, Hallen reaches for her hand and lets her gently pull him out. She keeps him in her lap as she looks over his injuries. A warm sensation envelops Hallen and he immediately feels the pain fade away.

When the woman puts Hallen onto his feet, all of his wounds are no longer bleed. The smaller wounds look more like scratches while the big ones have formed scabs over them. Chest heaving with excitement and wonders, hope surges in his small heart and it's only amplified when his rescuer takes his hands into hers and murmurs, "I'm sorry. I should have dealt with him sooner. You could have been spared from this."

Before he could open his mouth to voice a sudden thought of his, the door is pushed open and Rem runs in. She seems surprised at his presence but not the fact that the Master is dead.

"Hallen! What are you doing here!?" She is furious, but there is an obvious worry on her face when she grabs his shoulders and checks him all over.

"I j-just wanted to find some potions for Fenan!" He replies, not daring to look straight at Rem.

"Idiot! You could have been killed!" Rem snaps but before she could go into her usual lecture, the masked woman holds out a hand to stop her.

"Perhaps we can leave this for later? There are still things needed to be done." Her voice has become distorted again. It is only then that Hallen realizes that Rem doesn't seem to be scared of this stranger either.

"All right." Rem nods, turning to him and says, "Hallen, go back to our room and pack. We'll leave this Maker-forsaken place tonight." She emphasizes by stomping on the crotch of their dead master.

"What!?" Hallen cannot believe his ears. Leaving? Where would they go?

"No time to explain. I will tell you more about it later. Just go." Rem just waves her hand and turns to the masked woman. She says, "Ser, the other documents are in the main bedroom, but the safe is seal with magic. I saw Marius opened it with some kinds of scribbles."

Ser? This isn't a woman? Hallen wonders but quickly ignore it to focus on a more important thing that he was just about to ask—Fenan!

"Then lead me there, I shall deal—" the masked mage halts her speech as Hallen pulls at her sleeve. Maybe it's wrong to ask something like this to a stranger but he needs to try!

"Please save my friend!" Hallen begs, "You are a mage and you just healed me. You can heal my friend, right? Fenan is hurt, he keeps getting worse. Please help him!"

"Hallen, Fenan can wait a bit more!" Rem scolds, but there is a pain on her face as she says it.

Hallen knows Rem want to save Fenan, too, so he begs even more desperately, trying to drag the mage toward the door. He tries and tries, even when a voice in the back of his head telling him he could be killed for this. "Please help Fenan!"

A hand gently pats his head, making him stop in his track. Looking up, the mage tells him in a reassuring tone, "Don't worry, I will go with you so please calm down. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

They then turn to the other mage and nods, "I guess I'll leave that safe to you then?"

That person nods, pulling back their hood to reveal themselves to be a human woman with short black hair and shaft blue eyes. "No worries. Leave it to me." She smiles, turning to the one with two swords. "Can you deal with this room alone?"

Her friend also pulls off his hood to reveal an elf with dark skin and tattoo. He laughs cheerily. "Of course, my dear Cousin. In fact, how about us try and see which one of us will finish the job sooner?"

Hallen, despite his curiosity about the fact that an elf and a human are related, leads the masked mage with him to the servant quarters. On the way, as he explains about Fenan, he also discovers that there are other masked men running around the place, carrying weapons or strange things like the stuff he saw in the Master's lab.

Even more surprising is that the other adult servants are running around, ignoring the masked people or talking to them while carrying the large bags he had seen Marcus transported to one of the basements.

 _What do they want with all of those manures?_

Just as Hallen wonders, the mage suddenly explains, "Those will be used to make sure that people won't find out that all of the slaves in this mansion had disappeared after tonight."

He wants to ask more but they arrive at the jail holding Fenan right then.

Once again, when the door is opened, a horrible stench comes out but Hallen doesn't give himself the time to prepare. He runs right in to check Fenan and discovers that his friend has soiled himself again. His bandages needed to be changed, too.

Afraid that the mage won't want to touch and help Fenan, Hallen attempts to ask them to wait so he could clean the other boy a little bit. But the mage just steps forward and takes Fenan into their arms without any hesitation.

As they coo gently at Fenan to calm him, Hallen concludes that this person must be a woman because she is using a feminine voice again. And the way she is rocking his friend reminds him a lot of his mom…

A dim but warm light slowly pushes away some of the darkness in the room, making Hallen stop his breathing to just wait.

Eventually, the light fades away and Hallen could see that Fenan's breaths are less rough than before. He doesn't seem to be frowning in pain either. Meanwhile, the woman takes off her cloak and wrap Fenan in it before standing up, holding the boy securely against herself. With her no longer cloaked, even in the dim light of the jail and the mask still covering her face, Hallen could see that her ears are round, and her body is fuller than a normal elven woman.

 _A human?_ Some primal fear in the boy flashes through his mind, bringing the images of the Magisters hitting and even killing their slaves. Quickly shakes his head to get rid of the images. This person is different, he wants to believe this. She has killed the Master and healed him, she had held Fenan without caring about dirtying herself.

He wants to trust her.

"I have slowed down his fever and stop the bleeding for now, but he would need proper cleaning and treatment soon. Let's go, dalen. We need to wrap everything up and leave soon so you should gather your things now."

The voice is still gently but the way she says it makes Hallen runs immediately to the room where his bed is. So many people coming in and out of the servant's rooms with various things so no one spares a glance at Hallen until they see the mage with Fenan in her arms. Once they see her, they either stop to look or work even faster, but none seems to be surprised by her presence, just like Rem and the servants above.

"Ser," Lori, the old elf lady, comes forward and bows, hand wave over the hallway, "We have prepared everything."

Curious, Hallen looks into the first room. He lets out a small scream and falls backward when he sees people lying on the beds. Dead people. All with unfamiliar faces.

"W-What is this!?" He cries out, shaking like a leaf but a pair of warm hands appear to pull him into a hug. Hallen knows right away it's Marcus.

"It's okay, kid. It's okay. This is for best." Marcus's warm hand pats Hallen's back, comforting the boy enough that his next question comes out more clearly in a tiny voice.

"What is going on? Why are there dead people on our beds!?"

"We will burn down this mansion soon to cover our tracks." The masked mage comes to him and presses her hands again his back, rubbing it gently. "The guardsmen and the magisters will want to investigate and just a few remains of bodyguards and a single Magister among the ashes will cause suspicion. So, we must make it seem like everyone in this place had perished in the fire and not run away."

He tries to take in her explanation. Eventually, he asks, "Where did those bodies come from?"

There is a pause before the woman answers, her voice seems so sad, even with it being distorted, "They were slaves that have been killed by their masters. Minrathous has so many of them every day, so I found and preserve them with magic and brought them here… I am sorry you have to see this, but this a must so that you can leave safely."

A painful memory claws at Hallen's hurt at her explanation. His mother… when she died, the master just ordered for her corpse to be thrown away. He knows that slave's bodies are simply thrown away and to be collected along the roads by the street cleaners…

Taking a deep breath, the boy murmurs his final question, "… Where are we going?"

"A place where you can call home and be free." She replies in a firm and clear voice, and something in Hallen breaks.

"What will I do there?"

"Eat, play, learn everything you want, make friends. And grow up to be whatever you want to be?"

"Will there be any slaves there?"

"Never."

"Okay." He nods, forearm wipes over his eyes when the tears come out. Pulling away from Marcus, Hallen steps into the room to find his things.

Since he doesn't have much, Hallen just shoves his only other set of clothes and Mother's charm into a small sack.

When he comes out, Fenan has already been transferred to Marcus while the woman is holding out her hand which Hallen takes without a word.

He doesn't say anything on the whole way to the main hall.

xxXxx

"How was it?" The mage asks her two companions who don't seem to bother covering identity like before.

"I finally found some papers in that safe detailing Marius's little deals with the Qunari," the short-hair woman says. "Just as you planned, I've rigged around the mansion fragments Qunari's weapons. Once they investigate and find out everything, they will think that Marius has attempted to betray his new "friends" and was forced to pay for it.

"I've obtained the proof that Marius is hiring the Crows to kill Dorian Pavus," the tattoo elf chimes in, holding out several scrolls. "It was quite easy to duplicate these contracts so I put some in that safe after Marian vacated it. I put in your little list of names and contracts between Marius and his allies, too. The Guardsmen will find them and that there will be some delicious drama happen."

"Good. I will have Feynriel start the next stage. Once the seeds of suspicion are sown, those Magisters will take care of each other for us." The mage nods. "We can leave then. Divide everyone into smaller groups as we did before. Make sure to time the arrival and check the silent wards so no one will notice you."

At this point, Hallen, while not really understand they are talking about, has firmly concluded that the masked woman must be a leader with the way she speaks to her men. But she is different from the Master. The Master didn't give orders while holding hands with a kid. And certainly not a 'knife-ear' like Hallen—as he would often call the boy.

The Master wouldn't gently squeeze his hand and ask, "Are you ready to go?" either.

Since this person so far has done nothing but made him trust her, he smiles and nods.

xxXxx

Just like her order, the few dozens of slaves divide into small groups and left the estate in different directions. Hallen's group, which contains Rem, Marcus, Fenan and the few other children, are being led through a series of turns and twists among the smaller streets that mostly used by slaves.

Eventually, they reach a small door that for some reasons, Hallen didn't see it until the leader mage raps slightly on it and murmurs something.

When they come inside, they travel through several more corridors until they arrive at a large room with so many people, most of whom are slaves judging by their clothes and health. The rest seems to belong to the woman's group since they all have weapons and staffs. Some of them dressed in clothes with weaving patterns that Hallens has seen a couple of times before on the Dalish slaves who were just captured.

Once everyone has arrived, the people whom Hallen assumes are followers of the woman help all the slaves taking off their chain with tools and magic.

The mage herself holds Hallen's shoulder still, murmuring softly for him to not panic as she creates little sparks of fire that cut into his collar. Since Hallen is a big boy, he doesn't whimper like the other kids at the closeness of the magic at all!

But just like every other slave in the room, Hallen has to let out a small gasp when the heavy chains finally fall off after a long while, leaving him much lighter than before. He feels like he could jump to the ceiling or even fly!

Happiness and joy overtake him as he grabs the robe of the mage and chants his thanks. His vision blurs from the tears that soon is wiped away by her finger.

"There is no need to thank me," she tells him. "But if you need to thank someone, do it to Rem, because she was first the one who was brave enough to ask for our help to save you all. It was her who persuaded everyone in Marius's estate so that this plan tonight could happen."

Hallen's head snaps to Rem is laughing with Marcus and the others. So that's why everyone and Rem didn't react at all at the presence of the strangers!

The mage then tells him to rest and eat as they will soon need to travel for a long while more. She also adds that Fenan is being treated and will be stronger enough for their travel. Hallen wants to ask more about the place where they will go to and her name, but the smell and sights of giant trays full of food and drinks people are carrying into the room make him forget it completely.

By the times he remembers it, Hallen's stomach is too full for the first time in his life, and he is too sleepy to care. The blanket they gave him is just so soft… he will ask… when he… wakes…

xxXxx

They walk through underground channels that don't seem to end.

They have walked for days. Sometimes they travel on the surfaces, through narrow paths deep in dark forests, but most of the times, they travel in the dark like this, with only torches and strange flying lights to shine their path.

They have so many people but there aren't many concerns about food and drinks. Their rescuers provide them with strange bread that are so flavorful and yet so fulfill Hallen only needs one small loaf for breakfast to feel full for the rest of the day. Sometimes, when they travel in the forests, their rescuers would hunt and feed everyone fresh meat cooked with wild herbs. Many of the slaves who used to be freemen also help with finding food. Of course, everyone is very cautious and tend to not wander very far.

For water, the mages use magic to create them when they travel underground. They even make ice to cool the water, which is wonderful in the humid air of the caves.

Of course, some of the slaves were still wary of the magic at first. But they didn't say much and now after sometimes, they seem to be more relax now by accepting the cool water and food. However, there are a few slaves who seem to be constantly on edge. They keep mumbling about the masters will soon catch up and punish everyone one for being traitor, and that they don't want to be here at all. Those are usually quickly shut up by others who are looking forward to their freedom. Hallen guesses that those slaves were forced to come along so that they won't spill the secret.

Hallen isn't worried like them, though. He knows the woman won't hurt them, and that she and her comrades will protect everyone here from the Magisters. Fenan is the proof of it. His friend has finally woken up yesterday and even if he is still very weak to walk on his own, Fenan is able to talk and eat more.

The woman still hasn't revealed her real name to them. All of her followers simply call her "Mask" so that's what everyone else has been calling her, too.

Hallen has been asking her many questions. Once in a while, she says that she cannot answer due to many reasons but most of the time she would explain everything clearly to him. The best part is that he has learned that she won't get annoyed like Rem when he asks too much. The others like to her answers, too, so he thinks that they won't mind him talking too much either.

So far, Hallen has learned that they will go to the Dales where they will live for a while in a special place with magic and wonders, that there are many rescued slaves there, children and adults alike just like their group. He asks and asks, the more he hears from Mask, the more excited he becomes at the prospect of living in a country where he won't be beaten or starved anymore, nor do he need to work until he is exhausted. But most important of all, Rem won't have to return to the kitchen with her hair tossed and her face grim anymore, Marcus won't have to go out in the cold or the burning sunlight just to fetch and fix all the statues and trees the Master destroyed on a whim, and Fenan won't have to steal food ever again!

The thoughts cheer Hallen up and suddenly, he finds the next question.

"Who is the one that started all of these?"

Something shifts in the air, Hallen looks around to see everyone is fully paying attention to him and Mask now. They probably want to know about this just like him.

"The one who has started our quest for a new homeland and freedom is Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf of Elvhenan," Mask says, and Hallen senses something in her voice that he can't quite place.

"The God of Betrayal and Lies!?" Someone shouts from the back. Hallen turns and sees that he is an old man with Dalish marking similar to his mom's. He notices that some others are having similar reactions. Some even look like they want to bolt.

"No!" Suddenly, Mask raises her voice. "His true title is the God of Freedom and Rebellion. But that was just what other people gave him. He is no god, just a man who wishes to help."

Letting go of Hallen's hand, Mask straightens herself and speaks, "I know many of you are confused and scared and I am not surprised. It is reasonable that you would fear what you have learned. But please give me a chance to explain everything. Afterward, if any of you wants to leave, I will let you go."

Her words, so clear and full of sincerity seems to have calmed down everyone a bit. The ones that want answer comes forward and start inquiring; the rest, including Hallen, listen on intensely.

Mask proceeds to tell everyone about the tales of the Creators and the ancient Elvhenan that elves were hailed from. Hallen doesn't know much about these things because his mother was a city elf from Nevarra with no family before her enslavement. And he has no father to teach him either. Yet judging from the various reactions of some of the elves that range from shock to horror, what Mask is telling seems to be very offensive to them.

Some of them scream at her to stop lying, but Mask keeps her composure and firmly fires back with so many explanations, numbers, and names that Hallen can't keep up. Eventually, an old man asks, "I heard that the human Inquisitor who has vanquished a being called the Elder One was Fen'Harel's soulmate. But instead of protecting her, he killed her nearly four years ago. If the Dread Wolf is truly benevolent like you said, why did he do it?"

Mask's composure seems to straighten up a little bit more as she replies, "He did not kill her. True, the Inquisitor is dead, but it was not his fault. Out of all the people who knew her, Fen'Harel was the one who loved her the most.

"The reason that he allows even your human friends to be rescued alongside you was because Trevelyan wished for it. The Dread Wolf has done many things, but harming his soulmate is not one of them."

It is only then that Hallen realizes that it does make sense that the human slaves are here with them too. Looking at Marcus who is standing beside him, a sense of dread suddenly runs through Hallen's head when he imagines what would happen if all the human slaves are left behind with the dead Master and a burnt down mansion.

Shaking his head to get rid of the images, Hallen continues to observe as the old man mulls over Mask's answer before mumbling that he expects to have more clear answers when they arrive at their destination. After him, the others come forward and the debates continue to a long while more.

Eventually, it finally comes to an end and the other elves say nothing more, they just sit down silently while Mask announces that everyone should rest for the rest of the day.

When it is time for bed, with his belly full of mushroom and berries soup, Hallen is preparing to close his eyes when he hears sometimes. His sharp ears quickly pick up it to be the voices of the short-haired woman and the tattooed elf, whose names he has learned to be Marian and Zevran, respectively.

"Our leader handled that quite well." The elf laughs. "That little outburst in the middle was a great notch."

"It won't be the last and it's not like this is the first time you saw that." Marian, who insisted to be called Hawke, shrugs.

"The truth hurts. Even if I don't worship the Evanuris, I was still a little shock when I first heard that. To be able to handle that many angry people and their insults every single time the name Fen'Harel comes out is not easy."

"It's only a natural thing to stand up for the one you love. We both know it. If it was Solana, wouldn't you do the same? You have already always jumped out to protect Sol whenever someone attacks her. I don't think it's that hard for you to stare down at an angry mob for her sake. And for Nehna's, too."

"I could say the same to you. You killed a Magister to protect our favorite grumpy elf."

"Well, I did do it for Fenris but at that time, we both wanted to kill Danarius mainly because he had taken Betty."

"And that too. I'm such a bad uncle. I couldn't even help you back then!"

"Zev, you were on your way back to Solana. There was no way we could predict that to contact you." She pauses for a bit before continue. "We should stop and let this curious little boy sleep."

Hawke chuckles, which is joined by Zevran. "Agreed, he must be very tired from hearing us grown-ups rambling."

Realizing that the two know that he has been listening, Hallen blushes. He turns around and curls up in his blanket. He sleeps without waking up for the rest of the night.

The next day, everyone continues to travel. The elves who had argued with Mask are still with them, no one has left, even if they don't say much right now or carrying the same spirit and cheerfulness as before. But at least they don't really look scared and hysterical like the _other_ group of slaves.

xxXxx

"It's so big!" Fenan's jaw seems to almost touch the floor as he stares at the scene in front of him. Hallen has tried but still can't help but making the same face too. The other children are also gaping around them

It's incredible! Who could think that you can find a ship this big in a cave!?

A proud laugh echoes the space as a tall woman with so many trinkets on her person strolls toward them. She rubs Fenan's blond hair, making a mess out of it while saying, "Beautiful, isn't it? She is the love of my life and she will be the one to take you to your new home, my Little Beans."

"All of us will be on that big ship!?" a child asks.

"Will us… Will we be locked in the lower decks?" An older child asks.

"You will only need to hide for about half a day while we are still within Tevinver's water." Mask walks to them. "But after that, you are free to wander on the upper decks as long as you like. Unless we discover strange ships coming near us, that is."

"Just so you little guys here know, this generous person here was the one who gave me this beauty. I had promised with my life to transfer all the rescued slaves to the Dales any time they request, so don't worry and just enjoy your trip. I, Captain Isabela, will give you the best sea trip you ever get."

"All right, that's enough, Isabela! You boast about your ship every single time so just give it a rest this time and move on, we need to get out of here fast!" Hawke shouts from her spot at the top of the boarding plank.

"Fine, fine. I'm coming to get you back to your precious family! If you are that thirsty for Fenris, I can help you with that so stop nagging." Isabela screams back but she is laughing without any malice.

As he stares blankly at the two adults, Hallen hears Mask and Zevran chuckle. Maybe this will be a nice trip like the captain said since everyone looks so relax.

xxXxx

This is not fun at all!

Hallen whimpers as he pukes over the rails. His head keeps spinning and it's possible that he will vomit all of his inside to the sea if this goes on.

They have been cooped up in the lower desk for hours and, by the time the door was opened by one of the sailors to announce that it was safe to come out now, Hallen has lost all of his excitement for the trip.

He had bolted out to the main deck and has been vomiting for half an hour or so. He isn't sure, but it seems long enough. Next to him, Fenan is doing the same thing and so do several others. Maybe all of them will die before they see the land!

Just as he is thinking so, Hallen hears Mask's chuckle from behind. When he turns around, he sees that she is carrying a big tray with several cups in it.

"Sorry for keep you waiting." Mask says, "but these potions are the most effective when freshly made so I couldn't prepare them beforehand for you."

Hallens takes a cup, smelling a faint blueberry scent from it…

After an hour or so after her offer, Hallen finds himself running around the ships, playing hide and seek with the other children. His head feels lighter than ever, and the waves with its fishy smell are no longer bothering him!

"Don't run too fast, you will fall!" An adult yell when Hallen runs inside but the man makes no attempt of stopping him.

He runs pass corridors and rooms filled with bedrolls. He discovers the kitchen where a big man is cooking on a strange stove surrounded by sand, but he doesn't get a chance to come in and see more when he hears children's giggles down the hall.

Hallen keeps running, trying to suppress his laughter along the way. He keeps running and running, knowing that there won't be any master who would beat him for daring to have fun. Mask has even told all the children to play as hard as they could and once lunch comes, she will have something good for them all. The thought carrying his feet even faster.

When he runs pass a room, he sees the slaves who have been moaning and worrying sitting inside, silently looking at the floor.

Maybe they're having seasick just like him before.

Hallen calls out, telling them to come upstairs to have the magical drinks that will make them feel better. He doesn't stay to hear their reply but quickly runs away to find a hiding spot. Fenan is not going to catch him!

xxXxx

"Fenan is a what?" Hallen asks.

"A true half-elf," Mask repeats, her hands part Fenan's hair to reveal his ears. "See, his ears are short but pointy. His eyes are big but not that much compared to elves', and his nose is only somewhat straight. But he is quite tall compared to normal full-blooded elven children of his age."

Hallen takes a hard look at his friend. He has gotten so used looking at the other boy that he doesn't realize that his friend does look a bit different than a normal elf.

"I thought he was just a bit unusual. We all thought humans and elves can only birth elf-blooded humans." Lori comments from her spot at the end of the table, her hands never stop her needlework.

"Well, human and elf bonding pairs are very rare, not to mention half-elves can usually pass off as either humans or elves, depending on how much they take on each parent, so it is normal for you to not know about it."

"So my dad was… really my dad?" Fenan's lips pressed into a thin line. "Some people said that maybe Mom was cheating on him with someone else, an elf,… and D-Dad just took pity on her."

"No, Fenan, look at me." Mask suddenly takes Fenan's face into her hands, forcing him to focus all of his attention on her. "Do not believe that. Your parents had to be truly in love with each other. That was the only way for you to be born as you are."

"The only way?" Hallen tilts his head.

"Yes, Hallen. It is the only way. True half-elves can only be born from soulmates who had fully bonded with each other. If they had not yet completed their link, he would be born as a full human." Mask then adds, "But even if he is to be human, doesn't the only thing matter is that his parents love him? Fenan, do you remember what your parents were like?"

"I…" the boy swallows. "They were kind. Dad always gave me the most food, even though he was really hungry. He often carried me on his big shoulders… a-and, he told me that he loved me every morning before he went to work…"

Tears start to gather in his eyes and he continues, "Dad and Mom, they were always together. He would help braid her hair, and she would bring him lunch while he was working at the dock. When the bad people came, Dad told Mom and me to run. H-he tried to stop them but they just killed him. And then Mom—"

Unable to stop, Fenan begins to wail. Tears streaming down his thin cheeks as he cries and cries. Mask reach out to hold him as Hallen presses himself against his friend, trying to comfort the boy.

"I'm so sorry that I made you remember it." Hallen hears Mask murmur. "But please, never forget that you _are_ loved and your existence is the proof of what your parents have shared with each other."

Sniffing, Hallen feels Fenan nod. Absentmindedly, he wonders if there are other half-elves out there who also get to know that they were born from love…

xxXxx

Playing with Zevran is really fun. But today, they have something even better! Mask and Hawke are teaching them to read Common, and Hallen has finally learned how to write his name!

His writing isn't as neat and clear as Mask's, but he thinks they look perfectly fine for a first learner like him. While the others are still struggling writing their own names, Hallen is in the process of learning how to write his loved ones'. So far, he is in the middle of spelling "Marcus".

Even Mask comments that he is a good student and perhaps, in the future, he could be the first to learn Elvhen among his peers.

"Mask, how long did it take you to learn Elvhen?" Fenan asks while he is sitting together with Mask, her right hand holding his as she tries to guide his pen stroke. The question pitches Hallen's interest, so he listens on

"It took me ten years," she replies but immediately adds when she sees Fenan's (and the other children's) horrified face, "but I was learning it all by myself. You all will have proper tutors, so I reckon it will be a year or two!"

A sigh of relief comes out from everyone's mouth before they all get back to their own work. Hallen, meanwhile, mulls over the thought that he would be able to read and write both Common and his mother's language in just two years.

The new goal prompts Hallen to ask Mask to teach him how to write in the old tongue. By the end of the evening, he finally knows how to write his mom's name in Elvish.

That night, when he goes to sleep, Hallen clutches in his hands the piece of paper that is thick with all names in both languages that he had learned, written over and over again by his arching hand which, two days ago, doesn't even know how to properly hold a pen.

He looks at Fenan who is dragging his index finger in a familiar pattern of the letter that Hallen had learned to be the name of Fenan's soulmate, a sweet and gentle elven name. They smile at each other and whisper the spelling of the words in the calming darkness.

xxXxx

He wakes up in the middle of the night upon hearing cries from the other rooms and ruckus on the top deck.

When he arrives upstairs, many people are already there and trying to restrain a couple of screaming men. Hallen recognizes them as the ones who had closed themselves off for not wanting to leave Tevinter in the first place.

From what he hears through the whispering of everyone watching, a couple more had already thrown themselves into the ocean, choosing to die because everything was too much for them.

It puzzles him that people would want to die just because they are free. Isn't freedom what every slave wants? Fenan certainly thinks so, too, because he asks Marcus but his big friend just pull both boys into a hug and says, "They have stayed as slaves for far too long… they saw no other choices."

Hallen and Fenan just glance at each other before nodding, and murmurs, "I understand."

But it seems that there is no use to lie because they hear Marcus exhale. "No, you don't, I'm happy that your spirits are still free enough to not understand it. But you will eventually do when you grow up. I pray that when that time comes, something like this won't happen anymore…"

Marcus and the other adults spend the rest of the night guarding and talking to the remaining people of the small group. Hallen doesn't know if they have changed their mind but during the next few nights, there are no attempts to kill themselves anymore, even if they still don't leave their room.

xxXxx

Hallen searches for Mask through the ship. She often works in her room most of the day, only comes out to teach everyone in the morning or playing with the children in the evening. Yet the sun is almost touching the horizontal already but there's still no sights of her.

At the end of the ship, Hallen's ears pick up her quiet voice and find his rescuer talking with Hawke and Zevran.

"So you don't feel strained at all?" Mask asks.

"No, I think when you and I first met, it was my first time being away from Fenris for such a long period so I wasn't accustomed to it. But eventually, my body adjusted so now I can be apart from him for months without any troubles." Hawke laughs.

"Same with my Dear duty forces her to travel a lot but the two of us has gotten used to it so much that, even without having physical contacts for half a year, Solona can still remain healthy." Zevran grins before adding, "Aside from the occasional frustration from the lack of intimacy, of course."

Hawke snorts at her in-law before turning to Mask again, "But you didn't know that? I thought you two have to travel away a lot apart from each other."

"Yes, physically. But he comes for me almost every night in the Fade…" Mask seems to be hesitant about something. "Perhaps I should tell him that we need some distance between us—both in this plane and the other. We have been together for so long that I sometimes do get worried about what would happen if, by chances, we cannot contact through dreams anymore."

"He will not be pleased with that arrangement." Zevran smirks.

"He will not. But he will understand. And I have my way to make persuade him." There is something strange in the way Mask says the last part but Hallen isn't quite sure. Adults can be really weird.

"True, true. All men have things they cannot say no to. For Fenris, I just need to have Betty and the twins siding with me and their father folds like wet paper in no time!"

"You have three more people on your side, of course, it wouldn't take much time. I only have myself and my Wolf is a stubborn old man." Mask pauses shortly before continuing, "But old age definitely has its advantages."

"Indeed, our great leader is a very easy-on-the-eyes elder," Zevran smiles… weirdly? "If you need help in that department, with him being so old and all, I could give you advices and supplies—"

The tattooed elf doesn't get to finish because Hawke quickly squats his arm. She rolls her eyes. "Way to destroy the mood, Zevran."

"Ahh, but we are in the exact mood!"

They all laugh before Mask turning her head to Hallen's direction, "Hallen, it's not polite to eavesdrop."

Wincing, the boy comes out from his hiding spot, not daring to look directly at Mask. "Sorry. I just wanted to find you. You said that you would play with us."

Mask chuckles. She pats his hair and then takes his hand. "My apologies, little one. Let's play then. For as long as you like."

Hallen grins, his mind completely forgets about Mask's conversation just now.

xxXxx

"Do you really have to go?" One of the children whines, pulling at Zevran's wrist. The shore is already in sight and when they finally land, Zevran will depart for Ferelden, which causes a great disappointment for many on the ship.

"I must, my little friend." He smiles sadly, rubbing her head. "I need to return to my family. But worry not, we will all meet again in the future once our new home is built. And I hope that you all will become friends with my little princess."

The children chorus their promises to play with Zevran's daughter. Some even demand that he will teach them how to fight once they meet again.

Hallen thinks that it's not a bad idea at all. The boy would love to learn how to use a dagger, and how to climb walls and roofs, too.

xxXxx

"Marcus, what's wrong? You don't look so good." Hallen tugs at the man's sleeve. His big friend is sweating and his eyes are constantly blinking as if Marcus can't really see. As Hallen looks around, he realizes that the other humans are in similar state—all are walking sluggishly or even have to hold onto their elven companions. He has been so obsessed with watching and discovering this strange land called the Crossroad ever since they walked through that big mirror that he didn't notice anything unusual about his companions at all.

"This realm was created only for the People, Hallen. Only elves can walk on it without any side effects." Mask explains as they arrive at a large empty space with so many beautiful colors and lights that shaped into flowers on the branches.

"No wonders," Marcus grumbles, dropping himself onto the floor to rest his back against a tree. "All the kids keep screaming about how wonderful this place is. But all I see is grey."

Another elven man resting nearby looks at Hawke and Mask, frowning. "You two don't feel tired? You are human, aren't you?"

Hawke smirks, "We are. But our souls are linked with our bondmates, who are elves, so we get to share some of the benefits of being one, but not all... In this place, we don't feel the strains, yet we still can't see the color like your guys. Half-elves can, though."

"I see." The man murmurs, "This soulmate stuff have a lot of things going on than I thought… How long until we leave this place, anyway?"

"Soon, about an hour. I've already sent news to our destination. They will be waiting for us."

At Mask's news, everyone cheers.

xxXxx

They walk on a long big road which, as Mask said, will lead them to the gate of their new temporary home. No one talk, the air is only filled with the sounds of footsteps; they are all too nervous.

Eventually, Hallen could see from afar a large mirror. But in front of it, there are people.

Mask still walks forward without slowing down so they all follow after her, trusting that she would not lead them to danger.

When they get closer enough for Hallen to take a clearer look, he sees that there is a man that stands out from the crowd before the gate.

He is elven and unusually taller than most elves Hallen has seen. He is completely bald and his clothing is simple with a pelt of fur wrapped over one shoulder. Yet there is something about him, something that makes him so different from the people around him. He is radiating authority even as his face is passive, but Hallen feels no fear, only a sense of awe and respect. This man is different from any Magisters Hallen has seen—he is not a normal man.

In just a few seconds, Hallen finally understands that this man in front of him is Fen'Harel. As he glances around, the young boy can see that the others have come to a similar conclusion.

As everyone is still wondering what they should, Mask simply steps toward the Dread Wolf while he does the same. The two meets into the middle of the space between the two crowds.

Fen'Harel tilts his head as he regarding Mask, and smiles.

"Welcome back, vhenan," he says. And pulls off her mask and hood.

Hallen has tried to imagine how Mask actually looks under her covering but it still surprises him for her to look so… normal. She is pretty but not as gorgeous or queenly as many of the noble mages in the Empire. She wears no rouges nor blushes and her dark hair just wrapped into a simple bun, not mentioning her plain traveling clothes and robe. And yet, because of that, there is something about her that, once again, reminds Hallen of his mother. Probably from how gentle she is looking at Fen'Harel.

Suddenly remembers back to the Evanuruis, Hallen's mind recognizes that the man has called Mask "vhenan". His mother had said that it's a term of endearment one would call their lover or spouse. But then, that would mean…

Just then, ignoring the murmurings of everyone, Fen'Harel reaches out to cup Mask' cheek. His eyes loving and full of joy.

Mask, in turn, presses again his hand. Her mouth stretches into a big smile as she says, "I'm home, my Wolf."

Their lips meet for a lingering kiss, the two is so absorbed with each other that it's almost like the world only consists of them. Hallen, meanwhile, sticks out his tongue and makes a disgusted noise because adults' kissing is _gross_!

That earns him a light whack to the back of the head by Rem. He yelps. It isn't that loud but Mask seems to hear it because she chuckles and let go of Fen'Harel.

"Sorry about that, Hallen." She smiles at him kindly, taking no offense at his rude reaction. "I believe it is time for me to properly introduce myself."

She looks all over the crowd that has following her these past few weeks and dips her head slightly. "I am Evelyn Trevelyan, Second-in-Command, and Bondmate of Fen'Harel. It is a pleasure to meet all of you."

Gasps and sounds of astonishment echoes all over the whole group. The old man who has asked "Mask" before comes forward.

"Trevelyan? Y-you are the Inquisitor!?"

Mas—No, Evelyn nods, she gives him a pinched smile, "Former Inquisitor, to be accurate. I had abandoned that title more than four years ago."

"Then all those rumors about you having an elven lover who was killed by him…?" someone asks.

"It was parts of our plan," Fen'Harel confirms. He takes Evelyn's hand into his as he explains, "Throughout the years, my bondmate had done everything to build and protect this entire organization. Several times, she has personally gone and save slaves like you and brought you here for a new life.

"There is no debt between us two you. If any of you does not want to fight, we shall not force you. If any of you wish to contribute, we shall welcome you with open arms. But as long as you are here, you are all freemen that can live for yourselves."

Everyone stares at him in silence, not knowing what to say or to react. Marcus and Rem the firsts to come forward. They go down on one knee, their backs straight and shoulders square. Both look almost like a warrior pleading to his lord.

Marcus is the first to begin. "My Lord, I was a slave but now that I am free, even if I couldn't fight, I can still build walls and plant seeds and even learn new things to help. So even though I am human, and a cripple one at that, would you and your people accept me?"

"And I," Rem speaks up, "I am just a former slave who has never even picked up a sword, I can only cook and make clothes. Useless that I am, I want to join in with your effort. So would you and everyone here take me, my Lord?"

Fen'Harel smiles. He extends out his hand in front of Marcus and Rem. He then says, "Never say that you are cripple or useless. It was small things done by servants and slaves like you that had built the victories and wonders of many great countries. Stand up and be proud of yourself. As long as you accept us to be your people and wish for this from your own heart, the People and I would be honored to have you here with us."

The two former slaves glance briefly at each other and smile before reaching out to take Fen'Harel's hands. They stand up, proud and confident, as if like they were reborn.

There is a moment of silence before someone else steps forward, a young elven man. He raises his voice, "Then please let me join your army, too, Lord Fen'Harel. I may not know much about Elvhenan or the roots of our people, but I want to make a home for myself and my friends. Please let me join!"

"Take me too! I can smith tools!" Someone exclaims.

"And I can carve things!"

"I can read and do calculations!"

It doesn't take long for everyone to chorus their desire to contribute. Each offers a skill of their own, from mundane things like cleaning to farming to fighting. Even Hallen and Fenan are shouting out that they can work too.

Fen'Harel and Lady Evelyn accept them all.

By the time Hallen has come done from the excitement, he finds himself being led by Lady Evelyn to somewhere along with the other children. When he tucks at her sleeve and ask, she smiles, replying that it will be his new home for now.

All the children are brought to a big building where a man name Itha greets them. He introduces himself the Hahren (apparently, it means 'elder.') of clan Adrihel. Itha explains that his clan and two others' main job is to take care of all orphans, humans and elves alike, and provide medicines and healing for the whole army.

Lady Evelyn then takes everyone to a large room where the healers are waiting. Hallen and his peers are carefully examined for any hidden sicknesses and wounds. Once it's done, they are led to another big dining room with so many foods waiting for them all the tables. There are also many children there who reveal themselves as former slaves just like Hallen's group. Quickly, everyone is settled down into their place on the table and the feast begins.

Hallen eats and eats, but he stops when he notices that Lady Evelyn announces that she must leave. All the children run to her, demanding that she stay a little longer. However, even as some of them cry and cling to her, the Lady can only stroke their hair, telling them that she will return but she cannot stay.

"You will come back, right?" Hallen whispers, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

"I will, I promise. And in return…" She kneels down to look at them. "Will you all promise to be good, play and study, and help your caretakers when you can?"

In unison, they all promise that they will show her how good they are when she comes back. But Hallen, Hallen will prove that he is the best out of them all. He will show that all of her effort to save him and his family was not a waste!

He declares that to Lady Evelyn, but she just shakes her head and says, "I only need you to be happy with yourself."

She gives him a kiss on the cheek, which prompts the rest to scream that she must do the same to them.

The Lady laughs, and kisses all of them.

xxXxx

Hallen quickly gets used to life in this valley. Hawke has left sometimes ago, returning to her family just like Zevran. Rem and Marcus and Lori all have their own job so they don't stay in the same building with Hallen at night, but they meet and eat together every day.

Each morning, Hallen wakes up with breakfast waiting for him and go to bed at night with a full stomach and a warm bed.

After the meal, they have classes where they can learn various subjects from language to math to history. He and Fenan can read Common now, or at least, slow but definitely better than before.

With the presence of the Rift, both of them has started to show sights of magic with the floor around the two boys often has ice covering them so they have an extra class to attend. Hallen is also thinking that maybe he could ask his caretakers to let him learn to fight in the training camp with the other bigger kids. But perhaps after he has finish language classes first.

Afterward studying, there are light chores where they help with the cleaning, cooking and taking care of the small games and poultries. There are no masters to beat them to work faster, and they can steal some snacks with only a few scolding from the adults. They can even play and laughing while working!

After lunch, there are a bit more chores where they often have to run around the valley to deliver small things, but once they are done, all the children can play and go anywhere they want. Hallen has learned that there is another orphanage on the other side of the valley whose many kids who would come to play during the evening.

Together, everyone explores the entire region, one part at a time. They are not allowed to go near the mage and headquarter buildings, plus the training ground, but everywhere else is a fair game.

Well, Hallen did try to sneak in but was discovered immediately. And after his punishment being having to eat Itha's cooking, which is the most horrible, disgusting, belly-rotting, tongue-numbing thing the boy has ever eaten, Hallen has sworn to never approach the camp until he was given permission…

Rem and Marcus are doing very well. Hallen's big human brother is always talking about what kind of plants he's growing and how crazy it is to be able to grow things that should have been extinct a long time ago. Meanwhile, Rem is learning to weave cloths and she obviously is having the best time of her life. His big sister can go on and on for hours on what kind of patterns she is working on and what color she could dye the threads.

Hallen is happy for them, but what makes him the most excited is that, even if they haven't announced it, he could see that there is something has happened between his two loved ones. They often shoot glances at each other, and when they hand over something to another, their fingers touch and linger just a tiny bit longer.

Of course, they act like there's nothing out of usual but everyone else could see it, even the usually dense Fenan. Most people are supportive, even the grumpy Lori, but there are still complains here and there that if Rem and Marcus get together, their child would definitely be a human and can't contribute to the People for its parents are not soulmates.

"What rubbish." Lori rolls her eyes as she plucks the chicken's feathers, lately, the old woman has started to test out her many new recipes she never had the chances to try out before. "Can't help because it being human? Then what the hell is Marcus doing here? And the other humans, too? Bah, idiotic, shallow, short-sighted fools."

Hallen agrees, trying to think about the fact that those people don't actually oppose Rem and Marcus getting together…

xxXxx

Lady Evelyn comes often. And Hallen trying to enjoy their time together as much as he can because aside from him, all the other kids want her attention, too. And just like him, they would try to learn so many new things just to show off to her.

Sometimes, Lord Fen'Harel comes along. The man is somewhat distant and a bit serious, Hallen must say but that doesn't mean the boy hate him. Fen'Harel doesn't play with them the same way as his bondmate but he would tell stories. He has magic that can create illusions to portrait all of his incredible tales so everyone could spend hours at a time just to hear him talk.

But what makes Hallen like Fen'Harel is how his presence seems to influence Lady Evelyn's mood. It's not that she isn't happy around the children but there is something more alive about her whenever the Dread Wolf is around.

Because of that, Hallen is very much welcome the presence of the leader and hope that the older man would come around more even when they had moved to their new home.

And most of all, the boy would even tolerance seeing the couple kissing each other. It is a big sacrifice for him because adult kissing is _yuck_! And those two kiss _a lot_!

xxXxx

Hallen tries to suppress his giggles as he hears Lady Evelyn footstep coming close. He is the last one, all of his friends had been caught but not him, he will come out victorious and—

"Got you!" The Lady exclaims as her arms wrap around him. Hallen shrieks and laughs as he wiggles in her hold but makes no real attempts to escape.

Later, when he has finally had his fills of game, Hallen steals the seat next to the Lady at the table where she gives him a big plate of her cooking.

He chomps greedily on the piece of fish, savoring its deliciousness as he listens to her stories about the Fade and Elvhenan. Eventually, a girl sitting opposite from them asks, "Will you come visit more often, Lady Evelyn?"

All the kids seem to have stopped whatever they are doing at the moment to hear her answer. Lady Evelyn doesn't even smile sadly this time, she just gives them a serious look and a soft answer, "I'm afraid I can only come around for another two months or so, Merra. After that, I will have to be away for quite some time."

Everyone runs to her and just like the first night he came here, they cry and beg for her to stay. But Hallen knows from her tone that she will not submit to their demand, so he only has one question for her, "Where will you go?"

There is something so different in her eyes when she looks at him, something that reminds him of fire and darkness.

"I will go with Fen'Harel for a war."

"What is war?" a very small child asks.

"A bad thing." The Lady says simply.

"But if you're going to do, it can't be that bad!" says another child. "You do only good things for us. You are a good person so you can't do bad things!"

"No, Johan. I'm not a good person." She shakes her head. "A good person does not wage war and kill countless people. However good my intention is or how many people I saved, there is no doubt what I currently do and will do are bad."

At her explanation, all the children become quiet. Even Hallen doesn't know what to say so he can only ask the next thing in his mind, "Will you come to visit us again?"

"I will, but not here. If we succeed, you all will be transferred to your new permanent home, and I will meet you there."

This time, her words get everyone into an excited mood again. But as his friends start asking Lady Evelyn about what they will have in their new home, all Hallen can think of is how sad she sounded when she explained everything to them.

xxXxx

He asks the adults about wars.

Each gives him a different answer. A few speak about glory but most tell him that it's indeed a bad and very sad thing but sometimes necessary.

Hallen thinks hard about their answer and recalls the sadness in Lady Evelyn's eyes.

If only he could stop the war and let her come back sooner…

He looks through the window down the center of the valley, where even in the middle of the night, faint sounds of training shouts and weapons can be heard.

Suddenly, something comes to his mind. He already wanted to learn how to fight, did he not? If he can fight, he could help Lady Evelyn with the war and she can come home!

That's it! It's so easy! Hallen is already the best student in his class and the caretakers even said that he is very strong and quick for his age. He may be still young but if he eats and practices enough, he will grow up fast!

Trying to calm down his excitement, Hallen flops back to his bed. He must sleep and wake up on time tomorrow. He will learn, will practice and take good care of himself.

Lady Evelyn will see. She won't be sad anymore once Hallen is there for her.

This war will end real soon!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I'm so so so sorry for disappearing for too long. I tried to write more but after having a mini nervous breakdown upon finding out that I couldn't go home yet, I just couldn't find the energy to do it faster. But the chapter is here!

This chapter is actually only half of the original one, but there were so many scenes and such, I've decided to cut it into two so it's easier to focus. The next chapter will be more than 5k words of hardcore smut.

And there is something I want to show you guys at the end of this update so read on!

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

* * *

The sounds of cheers and singing could be heard even when one is deep in the palace.

Solas lets out a sigh, sinking a little deeper into the steaming water. It is good that his soldiers are enjoying themselves but things are still far from over.

They are untrained, the old wolf reminds himself, they are not the warriors of Arlathan with hundreds of years of training and disciplines. They are children who had been either slaves or outcasts for most of their lives. Let them have a little fun, they deserve it—conquering a major city like Halmshiral is no small feat, after all.

Most of his soldiers had managed to follow his order of not indulging in pillaging and raping. Some of the ones that did so had been captured, and Evelyn has already launched an investigation to root out the remaining; and then, by publicly punishing those criminals, the common folks here will trust his force more while Solas would have a chance to reinforce disciplines among the troops.

At least mortal's celebrations don't usually last for a whole week at the minimum like in Arlathan. Tomorrow, they can already start to clean up the damage and compensate the citizens in the city. It will be busy, but the resentment of the people here can be kept in check instead of letting it fester too long.

Already feeling a little better at his conclusion, Solas's mood lightens even more considerable when he feels the presence at the door. He turns his head just in time for Evelyn to step into the bedroom, a tray of food in her hands.

"Feeling better, my Wolf?" She smiles, pleased that he has listened to her order and stay inside to unwind himself instead of going out to work as he had planned.

"Much better." Solas tilts his head. "Now that I had done what you wanted, shouldn't you also take a rest, vhenan?"

Just as he expected, Evelyn just shakes her head. "Not now, Solas, there are things I can do to reinforce our hold on this city within tonight." She then proceeds to list out several minor tasks that Solas knows very well could be handled by their subordinates. But of course, Evelyn being Evelyn, she has to do them herself.

This is just won't do. Solas licks his lips as he watches his bondmate arranging the dishes to the table with her back to him. His eyes trail along her slim neck.

Ah, how many days they had not intimated, and he is hungry. It is lucky for him that there are not that many things to do now since the rebuilding and restructuring the city has not started yet, and he has made sure to order his generals to handle the remaining business before Evelyn came here…

Silently stepping out of the tub, Solas ignores the droplets of water soaking into the carpet with each step he takes. He wraps his arms around his bondmate's waist, pressing his nose against her neck and takes a deep breath.

"Solas, you have to eat first." Evelyn sighs, fingers squeezing a wandering hand of his but makes no attempt to shrug him off.

"Please, vhenan. I need you." He deliberately lowers his voice, knowing that will have an effect on her. He adds a nibble on her earlobe for good measures, too.

It works. She relaxes against him, murmuring, "All right. However, you will eat, and sleep properly."

"Of course, as long as you agree to do it with me." Solas smirks, presses a kiss to where her neck and shoulder meet.

Evelyn slowly turns around to face him, cupping his cheek, she gives him a resigning smile. "You are so spoiled. What am I going to do with you?"

She kisses him, tenderly at first but soon turns hungry and demanding. Solas responds with equal eagerness. His hands roam all over her body, loosening the knots and buttons with great familiarity.

Evelyn turns both of them around to push him against the table, her fingernails rack against his skin, leaving behind burning sensations that he knows will soon appear on his back.

When they pull apart to breathe, there is a fire in her eyes that makes his body sing. Without a single word, his bondmate drops to her knees and takes him into her mouth.

xxXxx

Sated and boneless, Solas lets himself to be pampered by Evelyn. With his head pillowing on her thighs, her hands stroking his head, her eyes focus only on him, and her sweet lullaby luring him into a light sleep, he wants nothing else in this world than to remain here forever.

Reaching out to press an appreciating kiss against her soulmark, Solas takes in Evelyn's appearance. Hair tousled, lips red and swollen, every patch of skin from her neck down is covered with his marks…

She was so good to him. His beloved has let him release all of his desire for her with an equal passion—even if she did stop him in the middle of it just to make him eat. Nevertheless, he is very satisfied right now and… Hmm, there are still empty spots on her body, maybe he can—

"Really? You are insatiable." Evelyn rolls her eyes.

"I haven't said anything." He smiles innocently.

"Your face tells me everything I need to know." She taps the tip of his nose. "Seriously, just how did you manage yourself during your war with the Evanuris? Your libido rises with your stress and once you get it, you just want more."

"I couldn't feel anything."

Her hands stop instantly. "What?"

Solas lets out a tired sigh. "When the war first started, I just ignored my need. I did not want to get too close to anyone and compromise my resolve. I did not want to appear weak and needy either. And as the war went on, I reached a point where I just felt numb. I became a living doll, moving for a higher purpose than myself."

"Solas…" Evelyn tightens her hands around his fingers.

"I thought it was normal. But now I know, I was not well back then, I was not truly alive." He pulls her hand to rest it on his chest, letting her feel his heartbeats as he opens the gate for her to feel the emptiness that was his soul back then.

His bondmate gasps, her hand trembles lightly against his skin.

Solas gives her a reassuring smile. "But not anymore. I am alive now. With you, I feel everything and I could not control it. Once I have had a taste of the forbidden fruit, I couldn't stop myself from wanting more. And I am sorry that it bothers you so."

"No, no, no, Solas. Don't be sorry about that!" Evelyn quickly leans closer to him, hands holding his head to keep him looking straight at her.

"I was just joking. I did not realize all of these was that important to you…" She swallows, "I mean, this is important to me, too. The two of us being together like this. But I've never realized how big this could impact you. I'm sorry for thinking of you as being spoiled."

Chuckles, Solas weaves his fingers into the end of her hair. "Well, you are not wrong about me being spoiled. But that was your fault. You are always so good to me."

"Ahh, I have to. Else you would get grumpy all day." Evelyn laughs. Solas just huffs.

"Don't act as if you did not feel the same, emma lath." He retorts, fingers caressing the side of her thigh. "I've noticed the way you glance at me when you thought no one is looking. I know you want me, too, or you wouldn't let me touch you like that. Why do you repress yourself?"

She bites her lower lips before replying, "I feel… a bit guilty. We are taking the first steps to build a new homeland for our people and yet if I don't work I would only think about sex. It never happened to me before… well, before we got together, so…" Her jaw tightens, following by a long sigh. "I guess you and I are more similar than I thought."

Evelyn rubs the back of his ears, sending shivers down his spine. Her voice comes out huskier with her next words. "No, we are the same. And I always want you."

The effect is immediate. In an instant, Solas gets up and pull his lover into a searing kiss. The night is still young. And they have work for many days after tonight. So why not enjoying themselves a little more?

xxXxx

Work, work, work. There is nothing but work. Even with Evelyn and many, many Generals and Elders accompany him, Solas is still swimming in work. It has gotten so bad that even his sleep is for communicating with dreamer mages. It's been days since the last time he actually had a decent rest and a normal dream.

This world lacks the magic that could help him speed up a great many processes. There is no magic to rebuilt walls and put out fires automatically. The magic wards the mages can set up are too primitive to screen and filter everything on their own. They also have no golems to protect the water sources and supplying routes either.

Solas sighs. They need to prepare and ensure certain conditions first before they could open another Rift for Halamshiral. It is only then that they can reduce the workload of the whole army. Specialized tools from their original headquarter are coming but they would still take a while.

Evelyn has been trying hard to make peace with the people of Halamshiral by arranging for them to live and work as normal as possible, alongside proper compensations and funerals. But no amount of money and comfort could bring back the dead or ease the resentment and hatred half of the civilians here feel toward her. It does not help that she still hiding her identity—with her always covering in cloak and mask whenever she leaves the palace so most of the time, his Second-in-Command looks very suspicious to normal people.

Just the other day, he heard from Felassan that two children had thrown rocks at Evelyn, screaming that she killed their father, one of the guards at the main gate of Halamshiral. Of course, she made no attempts to punish them; instead, she gave out an order for the two boys to be educated in a good school while their mother received a fund to rebuild her home and her stall in the market.

Solas is not worried about her compassion to be her downfall. He knows surely that she has already arranged for those children to be monitored until adulthood. If they have the guts to openly fight her as children, they could do far more once they've grown up.

Pinching between his brows, Solas gets back to work, silently fuming over the fact that tonight, there probably won't be any sex either because both of them will go back only after midnight, exhausted and sleep deprived.

xxXxx

"What do you mean by 'Fenris Hawke tried to kill Abelas'?" Solas asks the human guard, raising an incredulous eyebrow at the small report in his hand.

"It's exactly as it sounds, my lord." The guard answers with a confused voice. "Apparently, the Hawkes' eldest daughter got lost in the palace so Commander Abelas helped her find her parents. I was standing near the gate when they met. Everything was going just fine and they talked. The next thing I saw, Fenris started to glow and stuck his hand into the Commander's chest while the Champion and her daughter trying to stop him."

"And Abelas asked that I do not pursue this matter?"

"Yes, my lord. He requested that you overlook this and said that he will settle it himself. Lady Evelyn has already accepted but I thought that perhaps you would want to know, too."

Solas thinks for a second before nodding. "Very well. Leave it be then. Make sure to report to me if this happens again."

The guard salutes him and leaves. Alone in the room, Solas ponders about what could possibly be the reason for Fenris to act like that. In the end, he decides that he would just ask Evelyn since she should have already found that out by now.

xxXxx

"We need to upgrade the weapons first. Their current power is too weak and our mages need better equipment." Solas says, trying to hold back some of the frustration in his voice. He and Evelyn have been going for hours through several schematics and plans to improve the army's morale. Both of them are completely exhausted which make the current topic even more of a headache because they couldn't settle together on a good solution.

Yet, judging from the way all the hahrens in the room flinches, Solas guesses he had not done a very good job to hide his mood.

Evelyn instantly fires back a tirade of words, "And what about our normal fighters, who comprised of more than half of our army? They need better protection than just light armors. If we pool all of our resources into the mages, what would happen if someone can dispel their magic or get close enough for melee?"

"Vhenan, that is what barriers are for. We have ancient techniques to create those shields, and our soldiers have enough firepower to attack from the above, too. If we can create more specialized magic, we can break through their weak points."

"We are lucky that in all of the previous battles, luck was on our side and we had the element of surprises. But not anymore, the world now knows what we are and they will fight a way to counter us—you know that better than me, Solas."

They go back and forth, countering each other's argument with their own.

"Eh, perhaps we should take a break or change the topic, my lord and lady." Itha smiles shakily as he chimes in. "We all should take it easy—"

"Don't interfere, Itha." Both Solas and Evelyn say without even looking at the young Keeper, but that is enough for him to shrink back into his seat. His colleagues are now pretending to look at other things or just filling out some minor paperwork in the meantime.

They keep going back and forth for a very long while. By the end of it, it almost escalates into a shouting match but fortunately, they only sleep with their back to each other that night.

Unsurprisingly, when the two wake up the next day, they find themselves in each other's arms. There are no words between them, but they apologize to each other once night comes again, and it takes another day to finally come up with an answer both of them (along with the First Enchanters and Keepers) can accept.

xxXxx

"Ohhh, Varic and Cassandra finally get married. How wonderful!" Evelyn giggles, spinning around the room with the missive in her hands. She and Solas are having a short lunch break and to cheer her up, Solas has delivered to her the newest information of their former comrades.

"I don't think you were this happy when we officially became bondmates," Solas says dryly. "And haven't they bonded two years ago? It was you who broke that news to me."

"But they are making it known, Solas. It's official! Official! It means they are in a church, exchanging vows and rings and have people throwing flowers at them. And I can't even be there to do that!"

Sipping his tea, Solas just silently watch Evelyn going on and on about the wonders of weddings. Suddenly, Solas realizes that he had never asked her about it.

"Evelyn." He speaks up. "Do you want a wedding for us?"

His love stops walking at his question.

"Pardon?"

"Do you want a proper ceremony for us?" He repeats more clearly this time. "We are bondmates, which already made us husband and wife in anything aside from a vow and a witness in a church. However, if you love weddings that much, I can prepare one for us."

She thinks for a bit before shaking her head. "No, I don't need it." She smiles. "As you said, we are already husband and wife, I don't need a celebration to prove that. And we need to save resources for our people now. It will make me happier to see them clothed and fed than having a whole event for myself."

 _Ever the practical Evelyn._

Solas signs, but still nods. He then beckons Evelyn to sit in his lap.

"If one day you decide to change your mind, don't be afraid to tell me."

"All right. But I think I won't ever change my mind about this." She pauses for a moment before giggling.

"Something funny?"

"Now that you mention it. We _are_ husband and wife! And yet I have never called you 'husband'." She grins. "Now that I have said it, I really like it."

"And calling you 'wife' isn't quite bad either." Solas returns with a smile of his own. "Indeed, I certainly like it. My wife."

"My Wolf, my husband… yes, I definitely love this more than a wedding." She hums satisfyingly, pressing herself closer to his.

Their foreheads touch, their lips murmuring endearments that they can give each other. One thing leads to another and before they both realize it, the couple finds themselves kissing and are preparing to rip each other's clothes off when a knock comes from behind the door.

More works to do…

xxXxx

"How is their progress, Ser Fenris?" Solas inquires, ignoring the way Fenris Hawke is glaring at him while simultaneously forcing himself not to bolt. The lyrium-tattooed elf has taken on the job as the trainer for the city guards and, so far, no complains have been made about his teaching. Except for a few comments about the man being so anti-social outside work, that is.

"Just 'Fenris' is enough," the elf grumbles, gestures over the soldiers who are practicing with the dummies. "They are doing adequately, but still have a lot to learn. They know how to fight, and how to spot dangers in the wilds, but they are out of their depth when it comes to guarding a city with walls and doors and hidden passages. I can show them how to spot threats from people, but it will be better than you send a few assassins to teach them more."

In his mind, Solas quickly chooses out a few available rogues that could be sent here for Fenris. Zevran would be the first since his bondmate has already left to supervises the reconstruction of the newest keep the Dread Wolf has given to the Grey Wardens. Young Bethany can help with babysitting her cousin Nehna while Zevran works here. Now, who else could be used? Ah, perhaps Abe—

As if he's reading Solas's thought, Fenris quickly adds, "Do not send that Abelas here, unless you want him to die!"

His threat is cheered by the twin boys playing nearby, who waving their toys swords and declaring that they will help their father gut Abelas like a fish.

Solas just decides to smile and nod, agreeing that he shouldn't send Mythal's loyal servant here just to be killed by overprotective family members. Maybe avoiding Bethany's father (and her little brothers) for about another 10 years would be good for Abelas.

xxXxx

"Lady Evelyn! Look! I can make winds!" Hallen shouts as he makes the tree branches above him shake around. The other children follow suits by showing off whatever achievement they have got before this visit from Evelyn.

"I am so proud of all of you!" Evelyn claps her hands before bending down to hoist up a little girl. She spins the child around in her arms, laughing and cheering.

Watching from the shadow, a bittersweet smile appears on Solas's lips. In moments like this, he cannot help to imagine that the child in her arm having dark hair, blue eyes, and short but pointy ears.

So close, and so far away, this little dream of theirs…

xxXxx

Their lips meet in a hungry kiss. Their hands pulling off each other's clothes in frantic movements. Solas will enjoy this very much, just how many days he has waited for a night where they can finally have enough time for each other. Evelyn must have felt the same because she had been tried to finish her own work the fastest she could today. And now, finally!

As he delves in for another deep kiss, Solas realizes Evelyn doesn't quite hold onto him as tight as before. He pulls away to check and find that she is already asleep.

He blinks, staring at his bondmate for a while to see if she would wake up. She doesn't, so he just signs in resignation and chuckles. Silently, he pulls the blanket over their bodies, grateful that they had already taken off all their clothes so he won't have to move her too much.

With Evelyn warm and peaceful in his arms, Solas presses his lips to her eyelid. He whispers, "I'll come to you right away."

Before sleep takes over him, an idea comes to his mind…

xxXxx

"Isn't this cheating?" Evelyn blinks, eyes glued to the enormous magnolia tree that, just some moments ago, was just a sapling.

"It is not. I just gave it a little push." Solas replies.

"No, it's definitely cheating. No tree could grow that fast with a 'little' push." Evelyn lightly shakes her head. She still smiles happily, hands stroking the rough bark. "But I love it. It's wonderful!"

Solas grins. It is absolutely beautiful, the flowers are in full bloom to the point that it seems like the entire tree is glowing. The lovely scent floating in the air is calming and the warm bark is inviting him to sit down with Evelyn and rest against the tree.

His bondmate, meanwhile, is murmuring to herself about what kind of rugs should she place here and how many pillows would it need. Then, she holds out her arms and makes some kind of funny gestures. Chuckling, Solas can guess that she is imagining how she would place an open tent here.

As he cannot wait to show her the next part of his gift, Solas turns Evelyn around, temporarily snapping her out of her giddiness. She is preparing to say her thank but he holds up a hand.

"No need to thank me yet, vhenan. There are more for you." He gives her a scroll. It's just a summary of the project but he knows it will be enough for her to understand everything.

"This is…" Evelyn's shine brightly as she takes in the content of the scroll.

"I have more details for you in our office. The meeting will happen three days from now. Will it be enough for you to prepare?" He tilts his head, asking but already knowing the answer.

"Of course!"

xxXxx

"We can do that, my Lord? You mean we can convert these halls into indoor gardens without glass walls?" Keeper Hawen asks in astonishment as she walks alongside Solas in one of the large halls of the Winter Palace. They and a couple more of hahrens are inspecting the conditions of the place their newest experiment will take place. Evelyn has been holding on to this project for a long time and Solas, in hope that it will help his bondmate relieve her stress as well as giving his subordinates an opportunity to try out the old magic, has saved some resources to push it forward.

"We can," Solas confirms Hawen's question. "As this is just an experimental state, and considering all of the lost knowledge, they will not yield as much as the ones Arlathan but it certainly will help us if our supplies from other regions get cut off. We can expand the scope of this project perhaps after a few years of testing or so."

"We will enchant the walls with runes to emulate sunlight and weathers." Evelyn continues for him. "And for the water, we can employ the apprentice mages. Of course, that is just a short-term solution. Once everything else has been established, we will build an official water system."

"I've already chosen a section of the main market and some other locations within the city to be converted. Each will be a different climate to provide us with a variety of crops and herbs." She looks over the Keeps. "You and your clans will responsible for them. I, too, will help you all. Let's all do our best."

"We shall not let you down, my Lady." Telahna, the healer, replies. The woman barely conceals her excitement as she and the Keepers colleagues bow to Evelyn. When the Keepers leave, chatting and already planning what they would do first, Solas and Evelyn remain behind to take a moment for themselves.

When he looks at her, he can see her shoulders have lightened up and there is a small joy dancing in her eyes as she observes around the room. No doubt, Evelyn is imagining how this place would look a few months from now.

Reaching out for his hand, his beloved places a kiss to his palm and lets him feel the warmth of her cheek. He cannot read her thoughts but the way she presses her face against the callouses on his hand is enough to let him know what she is feeling.

"Thank you, my Wolf."

Ahh, there is it—the sweet smile he loves so much. Truly, what he would not do to protect it forever.

Without a word, he pulls her into his embrace, feeling her warmth against his body. He takes a deep breath of her scent. These days, Evelyn doesn't have to fight so she can always wear her favorite perfume. He can still recall the old days where she would painstakingly take the scent off her skin whenever they have to travel outside Haven or Skyhold. Solas had realized long ago that Evelyn only uses it when she feels safe and doesn't have to fight or hunt anything; it pains him to know that soon, she will have to remove it.

Orlais is gathering their army to push back and eventually, both he and Evelyn will have to return to the battlefields. As fragile and short the times she would spend in these gardens would be, they will be a reminder for her that she is fighting to protect lives and not just to bring deaths.

xxXxx

"Dorian is now one of the leading candidates," Evelyn says suddenly next to him, her voice neutral and her face blank. She holds up a missive for him to read.

"I see." Solas nods. They both know what this means. Archon Radonis' appointed heir has been seriously injured after a failed assassination attempt, and while the man is still alive, his state of mind and body is clearly not in the best condition to inherit the title to put it very lightly. Radonis could choose some others, but none have enough skills nor influence to truly replace the original heir.

Dorian has worked tirelessly to build up his power over the years and now, with him being the leader of his faction within the empire, it is not a surprise that he is one of the best choices to replace Radonis.

"How much do you think he wants to change his homeland?" Solas's wife asks, but she obviously knows the same answer as him.

"Enough that he would agree to aid us in exchange for our own help, I reckon." Dorian is not the quite the type of men that like to employ dirty tricks at every turn, but so many years of playing in the Magisterium would definitely have hardened him enough to know when to make the hard choice for the greater good.

"Perhaps only when the situation is dire enough…" Her gaze turns far away.

"Or he would want to make a preemptive move before things turn to the worse. Tevinter's tradition of dabbling with blood magic will make it an ideal first target for Dirthamen and Falon'Din."

His remaining brethren will be severely weakened once they wake up and will need "nutrition" to regain their strength. What could be better than a country where its most powerful members—many of them who would do anything to save their skins—had a preference for blood arts and a large supply of slaves for "materials"? The fact that Solona and other Grey Warden Commanders can no longer contact with Weisshaupt is all but an indication that the fortress and Anderfels will eventually become a starting point for the two Old Gods to unleash their Darkspawns.

Dorian, whether he likes it or not, will have to make an agreement with them for his people to survive.

"We might need to speed things up for him to need help…" Evelyn murmurs. This time she doesn't bother to hide her disgust and sadness at the likelihood that they will have to resort to such method to achieve their goal—to assassinate certain members in the Magisterium and force their friend into the corner.

"Let's wait first, vhenan." Solas grabs her hands. He weaves their fingers together and she leans against him, her head rests on his shoulder. He repeats, "Let's wait, and see what will happen. There is still time and perhaps we might be lucky enough for him to need us first before we need to force our hands."

"All right…" She sighs. Her fingers squeeze his when she asks her next question, "What about Varric? Marian is still in contact with him and she has made sure to conceal her location. But I…"

"You want to see him?" He finishes for her and Evelyn confirms with a dip of her head. Solas exhales. He knows that she thinks about their friends every day and the burden of lying is continuing to build up in her.

Solas pulls away from her hand to card his finger through her hair. "We can find a way, I suppose." Solas muses. "The Free Marches are next to the Imperium, one way or another, Varric would need to prepare Kirkwall, too. Maybe we can even meet him before Dorian. With our Magister friend, once he knows, the Iron Bull would know."

"Perhaps…" Evelyn seems hesitant. "Perhaps we can convince Varric to suppose us first? He will do anything for Marian and her family, her choosing our side can influence him to at least stay quiet once we reveal ourselves to him? We can show him how our citizens can live with magic, the Fade, and spirits without enslaving anyone or using blood magic?"

Her words are a mix of hope and uncertainty, and he could understand them perfectly. However, there is a possibility that Varric will not accept their attempt to reconnect with him and instead choosing to tell the whole world. And even if he doesn't do that, if Cassandra finds out, it will still result in the same outcome.

Solas proceeds to tell Evelyn his thoughts and after a moment of considering, they both agree that when it is time, they will meet Dorian first because at least he doesn't constantly keep contacts with Bull, not mentioning that the Atlus will surely put the benefits of Tevinter before the laws of the Chantry.

For the moment, however, they will wait and see.

xxXxx

Solas hurriedly walks into their bedroom and closes the door. The next few weeks will be extremely busy as all the mages will open the second Grand Rift; so today, when they finally have an entire evening for themselves, he intends to make good use of it before being forced into abstinence by works again.

But to his disappointment, there is no sight of Evelyn in their room. Instead, he finds a note left by her. It read, _"I need to find something in the Vir Dirthara. I will come back soon."_

Bite back a disgruntled noise, Solas ignores his manners and just flop down ceremonial on the lounge to wait.

He waits and waits, but after an hour, he starts to lose patience. And more than that, he is starting to worry.

Opening their link, Solas can feel that Evelyn is well, but she is anxious about something. He frowns, wondering what could possibly be the reason for his bondmate to feel like this.

This emotion, if he has to put a word to it, would be "forbidden". She is doing something she knows is wrong, and yet there is a sliver of hope and confidence in it.

Before he knows it, he has already marched to his office where an eluvian that could lead directly to the Great Library is waiting.

The old wolf looks at the reflectionless mirror before letting out a long sigh.

"You will be the death of me one day, vhenan."

Truly, only her that could make him so worry in this way. If anything happens to her, if something like the Red Scales happens again—

 _Red and the smell of rust is covering her._

 _She leaned against the cold walls like a broken doll. Her eyes, slashed and covered in burns, aimlessly wandered to his direction._

 _Her right leg was mangled beyond recognition and he knew they would have no order choice but to amputate it. Her left arm was missing and her right one was broken. There were bruises and cuts around her neck._

 _He must have made a noise because she smiled at him._

 _He thought she has gone mad but then he realized… She almost never smiled but now she was smiling for his sake._

 _Even in pain, betrayed and mutilated, she was still trying to comfort him._

 _He could tell himself it was all for the sake of those more important than her but it was all a lie!_

 _This sin could never be forgiven..._

A poisonous bitterness flooding Solas's chest in a second before disappearing. Fearing for Evelyn, he checks her again but finds nothing. She is still carrying that emotion, but there is no apparent danger around her. There is only one way to find out.

Quickly, he steps through the eluvian and into the Crossroads.

* * *

A/N: I've been dying to show everyone this. I'm still in the process of planning a sequel for this fic called "A Forgotten Story" but there are certain scenes that I've already had in mind. This fanart is one of them, drawn by my super talented little sister!

You can find it by passing this on imgur: /DnBWUax


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

* * *

Solas walks through the broken remnants of Vir Dithara. The silence of death and destruction is pronounced with each step he takes.

In a quiet moment like this, all the pleasures he has from having the Crossroads and the Great Library under his controls simply vanish, leaving behind a heavy darkness that wraps about his body until his ears drown in sounds of non-existent screams and cries.

When he first returned to this place after his long sleep, he had a breakdown upon witnessing the memories of those left behind in this place. Even if the souls had long departed to the Void, all of their final impressions upon this world cannot be erased, especially in a place where knowledge and memories are meant to be recorded with the help of the Fade and the spirits. All the hatred, sorrows and resentment were aimed at him

As a result, he does not like to come here unless there are things to be done. But today, he has another reason to venture into this place, and fortunately for him, his bond with her allows him to locate her easily through all the floating buildings.

Solas's smile quickly falters when he realizes Evelyn is in one of the oldest archives. Hasten his pace, he goes through the gateway that leads to a large hall.

He hates this particular section of Great Library. It doesn't offer much power in term of war and destruction but it holds stories and secrets that bring pains in other ways. Love rituals that end with the casters losing everything; healing magic that can grow back limbs and even resurrect the dead but gradually eat away the livings until it was too late; illusion spells that can fool even those who are well acquainted with the Fade and trap their victims beyond death.

This is not a place he wants Evelyn to wander around. While he does trust his beloved to not fall for their tricks—as the ancient "miracles" have ways to convince a person to use them—Solas prefers that she not come in contact with those things in the first place.

When he finally reaches Evelyn, Solas finds her reading intensely into a book with her back to him. Too intensely for his peace of mind.

Silently, he walks close to her and whispers, "Vhenan."

She yelps, but Solas is ready to catch her by the shoulders and steady her.

"Solas! You scared me!" She breathes out before chuckling. "Ah, I disappeared too long on you, didn't I?"

"Indeed." He smiles, turning her around to brush his lips against hers. He jokes, knowing that it would have an effect on her. They know each other too well to lie by now. "What had caught your attention to the point that you forgot about your poor bondmate?"

The effect is immediate, Evelyn's smile falters. Biting her lips, she holds out the still opened book.

Solas's heart drops when he recognizes the page. This is not the kind of ritual that turns a person into a living dead nor does it kill the user. But its effects are all the same.

 _I should have burnt this accursed thing long ago._

"Evelyn…" he is unsure of what to ask her.

"I have already memorized it." She answers for him. There is a little bit of guilt in her tone but her eyes are full of defiance.

"Vhenan, do you have any ideas what this is?" He bites out, unable to contain his anger and panic.

"It's a sealing spell. Stronger than what Ameridan had done. Stronger than even your prison for the Creators. The kind that could put even a god into complete oblivion. It is something we can use if our war against your brethren fails."

"And the price one has to pay for it is enormous," Solas growls. "They are sealed within the prison together with their victim. Not asleep like Ameridan but completely aware. All the magic that could leak out from the victim will be absorbed by the caster, giving that person agony for all eternity just to ensure the victim cannot escape in any way. And the worst part…"

He takes in a deep breath, tries not to think about how it could happen to Evelyn. Taking the book away from her and throws it on the desk nearby, he continues.

"This book does not record that part but the worst consequence is that the people who know the caster will gradually forget everything. All the memories concerning the one who performed the spell will eventually be erased so no one could ever find the seal and break it, and the prison is already inescapable in the first place. Once you've performed it, there will be no way out for you."

His words seem to have gone through Evelyn when a flash of fear appears in her eyes. But as always, she quickly regains her composure.

"I… did not know that. But, even if it is true, shouldn't the victory against Falon'Din and Dirthamen worth the—'

"Not if it cost me you." He cuts in. "Evelyn, another requirement for this ritual is a powerful mage that could rival a noble or even a royal of Arlathan. On our side, there are only a few with that kind of power, including me and you. And I know you would never let someone else sacrifice themselves if you can help it."

"Solas…"

"You've changed me, Evelyn. I am not the same man as I was before and if I lost you…" He looks straight at her, hands gripping her wrist to put her palms against his chest. "If I lost you, I do not know how I would change. Do you still remember what you discuss with Dorian back then about what can happen to a surviving bondmate if they can live through Bond Sickness? Their personality will be twisted and become obsessive with something that can help them to live on.

"I was still myself when I destroyed my old home, what do you think will happen to this world if I can no longer remain sane? Especially if I cannot remember you anymore? So please, do not push me to that point, vhenan."

What Solas had told his bondmate _is_ the truth and there are worse things he can think of to stop her from ever using that magic. It is a low move, to use the life of others to persuade her. But if mortal men such as Alexis and Loghain could do so many damages like that then what could stop a being from the Fade with thousands of years of power like the Dread Wolf to destroy and distort the world to utter ruin beyond reparation?

Evelyn must have realized that too because she grimly nods and replies with a small voice. "I won't use it then."

Taking her face into his hands, he demands, "Promise me, vhenan. I need to hear your words that you would never use that spell."

Her jaw tightens lightly, but she eventually faces him again. Her eyes open bright and clear with his reflection in them.

"I promise, I will never use it. I will not sacrifice myself for it."

He would prefer that she would never sacrifice herself for anything but this is good enough for now. Exhales in relief, Solas presses a kiss to her forehead as he pulls her tight against himself.

"Ar lath ma, vhenan." He murmurs into her hair.

"I love you, too, my Wolf. Always." She returns his embrace with the same intensity. Solas then leads his bondmate to an old stone bench nearby and lets her sit in his lap.

"My apologies for my outburst, Evelyn," he begins, "but I just don't want to lose you. I've seen what this magic could do… and I don't want the same fate falls upon you."

Her eyebrows raise at the revelation. "Someone had done it before? Ah, it makes sense now, since you mentioned that you know about a side effect that hasn't been recorded."

"Yes." He nods, "I was one of the few who witnessed it. And I am the only one who knows, or more correctly, remembers about the last consequence. But even so, I couldn't fully escape its effect. I remember that someone had performed the spell to lock away a powerful being, but that is all. Everything else about that person and the seal is only a blank in my case and with other people, it was false memories."

"You didn't try to investigate it?"

"If someone had to resort to giving themselves up to such a fate just to stop something, they probably would not want anyone to interfere with it afterward. So now all I can do is to make sure no one else would have to endure it.

"Not to mention, if I tamper with the seal, it could make Falon'Din and Dirthamen remember everything and possibly gaining an ally from the one who had been locked away. I would rather not give them more power."

Evelyn sighs, nesting herself against his chest. "I understand now. That person… if they had to do it, perhaps it was because they couldn't see any other choices. That makes me glad that I have you."

"Oh, how so?"

"When I am desperate and trying to do something dangerous, I know you will be there to help me. You will stop me from hurting myself." Evelyn giggles. "Even if I'm sure you would scold me for being bad afterward."

"Of course I have to. I cannot just stand there and let you think that harming yourself is all right."

"I know." She looks knowingly at him before tapping his nose. "Because I would do the same for you, too.

"And I am glad that you do so." He catches her hands to give her fingers a kiss. "So, on another topic, may I know why you decided to visit this particular part of the library in the first place?"

"Well, I was actually searching for some other, more mundane topics." She laughs, looking somewhat embarrassing. "But some were displaced to other areas so I went for them. Before I knew it, I was here."

"And what kind of topics was that?" He smirks, already has an inkling of what she wanted.

"Uhm… fetishes and roleplays?" She smiles shyly at him, with excitement in her blue eyes.

"That?" Solas barks out a laugh. "Vhenan, if you want to know about that, you could have asked me!"

"You were so busy. And I was worried if I mention that to you, it would distract you. I planned to just do some research first and then come back and talk to you right away. I want something special to make up for our lack of intimacy these past months."

"I see." Solas lifts her chin up. He growls, unable to stop the desire and hunger from his voice. "Tell me, what kinds of roleplays would you like?"

"… Master and slave? With me being the latter?"

A series of thoughts and emotions run through Solas. What an unexpected request, and yet not quite so at the same time. He is someone who can only relax when he has the full control of everything; meanwhile, Evelyn always wants to get go of all responsibility and just to enjoy herself.

They have played bondage before but it usually only ropes, some toys, and lighthearted orders. He did not push for more because he is content with what they had but… The images of Evelyn on her knees, completely submitted to him and lets him do everything he wants to her overwhelm his mind.

A gentle hand brushes his cheek, yet when Solas looks at his beloved, he is taken back by the sheer intensity of her gaze. All the shyness and hesitance before had disappeared. She knows that he wants it, too.

"We will need to go over everything before we start it," says Solas.

"I know."

Evelyn moves to sit astride of him with her hands on his jaw and neck. The look on her face makes his breaths slow down as he grips her waist.

When they kiss, it feels like they haven't done so for many days. Tongues entwine, fingers clawing at clothes and flesh, eyes close to feel more than see. It is only when they need to breathe that they part, reluctantly.

Their foreheads rest against each other's. The two of them have been gone from the palace for quite a while already, they should come back now. But…

"Just a little bit, husband?" Evelyn whispers. She has learned the habit of calling him "husband" whenever she wants all of his attention and Solas can say that it is very effective against him.

Solas nods. "Just a little bit."

Even if their intimacy here is short, it gives them some comforts to wait for the next time.

In the following days, Solas uses his very few spare times to prepare and talk with Evelyn what she would like to do. They discuss of how much she could take and what she would willing to try.

In the end, they choose a night a month from now on to clear out their schedule.

xxXxx

"So those are clamps for…" Evelyn picks up one from the pair. It's the first time she sees these particular items.

"They will go to your chest." Solas finishes for her. "I will need you to try these first and then adjust them so they don't hurt you too much."

"Right now?"

"If you want."

"All right. We still have another half an hour for lunch." Evelyn nods, hands quickly loosen the front of her shirt and her breasts band for her husband to put one on.

He does it slow and gentle, but she still grimaces. "Maybe less tight than this. But I like the weight."

"I see." He takes notes, quickly remove the clamp and sooth the sore nub with his thumb. Solas then shows her a box with several dildos and plug in it, each with different shapes and sizes.

Evelyn thinks for a bit and chooses out three plugs. "I like your fingers better but these will do in the case you want to surprise me." She smirks in return to Solas's amused look.

Just right then, Loranil opens the door. "My lord, my lady, here is a report fooorrrr…"

He trails off as his eyes land on the box with the unmentionable toys and Evelyn with her shirt still opened…

"I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!" And promptly shut the door back.

The couple just sighs.

"We need to learn to lock the office door," Evelyn suggests.

"Or teach him to knock. But I agreed."

xxXxx

"What about hot wax?" He asks while they are lying in bed, sleep is slowly taking over them. Their bodies are exhausted after a whole day of walking around the city and outside it, having to check and approved all the newly installed magic wards.

"No. I don't like the sensation when it's on my finger, I don't think I will like it to be on my body either." Evelyn yawns, snuggles closer against Solas's warm body.

"Just hands as usual then." He tucks away a strand of hair from her face

"Paddle is okay, but yes, just hands are enough for me, and I like to have you soothe me right afterward."

Solas laughs. "Of course, I also prefer to use my hands anyway."

"That trick with electricity that you have, I think it'd be okay too."

"Noted."

xxXxx

"I don't like shackles, too heavy." Evelyn holds the item up and down to make a point. "Just normal robes, or silk, is enough."

"Ropes then. I will need to prepare them so they don't rub you raw."

"Say, just how did you do all these things anyway? We are both drowning in works. Just where do you get the time to collect all those toys and tools, _and_ then prepare them?"

"I have my way." He answers as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "When one is determined enough, there will always be a way."

Evelyn just stares at him and blinks.

xxXxx

"We'll have you blindfolded then," Solas concludes as he passes another scroll for Evelyn to check. "Would you want me to block out sounds for you, too?"

"No, I like your voice," Evelyn confesses, hand never stops writing all the numbers they had calculated. "I love to hear you taking leads in many things."

"I know." Her husband smiles. He puts down the quill to lean his face on his hand. His next words come out much huskier. "I will make sure to put it to good use."

"I also love it when you wither beneath me and begging me for release." She adds with an equally smug look. "I love it when you're completely helpless against me and will take anything I give you."

Solas blinks but quickly recovers. "Perhaps that can be saved for after we have done with this one?"

Evelyn tries not to laugh at his eagerness and give him her brightest, most excited smile instead. "Definitely!"

xxXxx

Her eyes snap open and blink at the dark room. She knows it is near morning but the sun obviously has not risen yet, so normally, she would sleep in just a little more.

But not today. Tonight will be that time and Evelyn will not allow anyone or anything to interrupt her time with Solas! Today's work must be finished as soon as possible!

"Wake up, my lazy Wolf! It's finally here!" She yanks the blanket away then shakes her bondmate awake. Despite his protest, Solas still grouchily sits up and allows Evelyn to pull him to the bathroom.

"Who is the more eager one now…?" He mumbles along the way.

xxXxx

"Again, what is our safeword?" asks Solas.

"Sapphire blue." Evelyn answers.

"And what to do when you can't say it?"

"Snap my fingers twice." They have been going over what he can do to her and what is her limit. Solas has a lot of experience in these kinds of things so Evelyn knows that he would stop right away when he realizes she can't go on anymore, but it still necessary for them to establish safe word first in the case he has any misjudgments.

"Is the binding too tight?" Evelyn's bondmate rubs the enchanted silk that is tying Evelyn forearms together behind her back.

"I can still wiggle just a little bit, is that okay?" She tests her bond to show him.

"That is good." Solas confirms with one corner of his lips curls up.

She can feel his gaze wandering over her naked flesh as she knees on the floor. Evelyn trembles in anticipation. They have been preparing this night for a whole week and now here they are, with no one will interrupt them and all of their necessities had been taken care of; but Solas is taking his sweet time to check the knot. Is this part of the play? Is he trying to torment her?

Her displeasure must have shown on her face because Solas suddenly laughs. Weaving his finger into her loose hair, he hoists her up so their lips almost touching.

"Be patient, my pet." She shivers at the name and waits, but despite the closeness, he doesn't kiss her. Instead, with a wave of his finger, a screen of black smoke materializes to wrap upon her eyes.

Before her vision is completely covered in darkness, the last thing she sees his face. Arrogant and full of expectation.

She hears, "I know you will not let me down, my precious slave."

Gently laying her down on the carpeted floor, he departs without a word. Evelyn listens until the sounds of the door being opened and then closed to conclude that he has really left.

The room is strangely quiet now that she cannot see anymore. With this being the first time she is blindfolded without Solas presenting, there is a sense of disquiet and uneasiness that keeps rising each minute with her being so vulnerable right now.

Evelyn feels the silk rope digs into her skin as she struggles to keep herself breath normally.

Her other senses are becoming too keen. She can feel the light prickling from the flooring and the cool air seeping into her skin with each moment.

Magnolia, books, spices, fabrics, and wood—all and the familiar smell of this room is too clear. Were they this strong before?

How long has she been waiting? It's hard to tell with all of this darkness.

What did he think when he made her stay here? How should she act for him?

She wants to get up and calls for Solas. She wants his touches. And yet…

Didn't he tell her to be patient? He has called her "precious" and he has laid her down so gently.

He trusted her to play her role. And her role now is to be a slave for him. To obey his every wish and fulfill his expectation.

Yes. It doesn't matter what they were before, right now, she is just his slave. She has willingly given herself to him and now she is nothing without him.

He is her master, after all.

What will her master do when he comes back? Would he order her to serve him immediately while she is still bounded? Or would he tease her until she begs and cries for him?

The thoughts of submitting to his will and receiving his praises make way for something inside her. Something sweet and desperate.

She recalls the way his fingertips had glided upon her skin before. Oh, how Evelyn wishes to be able to press herself against his hand for more. But she is a good slave so she will only take what he would give her and nothing more.

Her master is merciful and kind; he would not treat her badly. Not too much. But even the pains he brings her is exquisite, and even if she does not think so, she would eventually do.

The wetness between her legs is becoming apparent. What should she do now? She can't stop herself from yearning for him, but he has not given her permission yet!

Breaths are heavy. She waits and waits and waits…

… Until the cricks of the door signaling the arrival of someone.

Evelyn holds her breath until a familiar voice reaches her ears.

"Have you waited long, my slave?"

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He places her down gently onto the bed before pulling out from her. A small gasp escapes her lips from the emptiness and the fluid that trickle out, but a careful hand placing on her rear soon takes her away from them.

A coldness made by magic seeps into Evelyn's flesh, sooth away the stings. She moves her head to glance back and see _him_ there, looking at her with love and reverence.

 _Ah… I've missed you._

Evelyn smiles. She has had her fun with her Master; but now, she wants her husband.

She then tries to flip her tired body around but Solas is quick to assist before she could actually put any real effort into it. So she decides to use her strength to pull him down for a kiss instead.

Her bondmate chuckles. "Did I go too far?"

"Did you hear me say our safe word or snap my fingers?" She wraps her arms tighter around his neck. "It was absolutely amazing. I definitely want to do that again!"

"Now?" He smirks.

"Not now. But can you guess what I want right now?" She makes a suggestive face. "Here is a hint. It's something you also want too."

Solas answers without delay, "A hot bath, a good massage, and a good sleep?"

"Correct!" Her grin turns into laughter as he scoops her up and carries her away. It lasts all the way to the bathroom door.

xxXxx

As it turns out, having a great pampering session after being tied up in a heavy sex roleplay is not enough to stop her body from feeling sore the next day.

Still worth it, though. Very worth it. Especially when Solas promises that he will let her have her way with him the next time they play again.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I am so sorry for taking this long to update. Life was crazy for me and I lost most of my creative juice to my job.

This chapter was both easy and hard to write for me. I was planning for it to be around 4000 words but somehow the plot expanded and now it has 10000 words.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

* * *

"Thank you, Lord Fen'harel, Lady Evelyn. Orlanna has told me about the wonderful house you have given her and my mother." Feynriel bows respectfully before Solas.

"It is just a small reward for your hard work," the Great Wolf rumbles back, "More will be waiting for you when you return. We have already prepared a position for teaching in the general school for you."

Evelyn takes that moment to perk up from her spot on his head. She, being as careful as always, has taken on the form of a tabby cat with a white chest. She chimes in, her tail flicking in excitement. "The children there, both humans and elves, are very eager to meet you."

The younger elf's eyes brighten at that and Solas has to smile. Being a child stranding between humans and elves, he would find delight in a place where both races can accept each other and him.

"Still," Evelyn continues, "are you certain you want to remain in Tevinter for another month? The situation there could be escalated at any moment now and you don't have the influence to shield yourself. However, we could send more people there to protect you if you really need it."

"I will not do anything dangerous, my lady." Feynriel just smiles. "I just need to prepare more before departing. Dorian will need everything to help him, and I want to make sure that my 'death' will not cause too much impact on his work. Beside… There are a few extra things concerning my mentor's death that I need to take care of. There are still leftovers that need to be finished."

Ah, Solas has thought that the younger elf has already decided to just finish off the culprits who killed … but it seems that the boy will not just stop at killing them.

"Very well," said the Dread Wolf, "you may do what you want."

Evelyn adds, "Be careful, Feynriel. We will see you again soon."

"Of course, my lord, my lady." The elf bows. "My deepest gratitude. I will make sure to use this opportunity to bring more great news to you."

Feynriel flickers out of the Fade, leaving the wolf and his bondmate behind.

Evelyn finally sighs. "I worry about him. Revenge can make people lose sights and reckless."

Solas rumbles back, "Don't be. He may have a vengeance to seek but his family is waiting for him, you have even said that a new life and career is already laid out for him to come back. He has too much to be careless now."

"I know, but it doesn't hurt to be more prepared. I will send him some helpers." Evelyn jumps off from his head to land gracefully on the ground.

Solas must say that her cat form is quite adorable, especially with her big blue eyes that always seem to dilate to a near full. Back when they were in Skyhold, his lessons for Evelyn has mostly been concerning of manipulating the Fade around her but not herself, so it wasn't often for her to shapeshift.

But nowadays, when Evelyn needs to leave the safe areas within the Dream plane to venture to the more unfamiliar places, she always turns into this form to avoid being detected by non-friendly mages.

Even now, when he is with her and shielding her from any unwanted attention, she still maintains her cover. Evelyn has explained to him that being this close to the Empire is too dangerous not to shapeshift but Solas knows that his bondmate has another plan for it. After all, these appearances of them are great for a game of hide-and-seek.

She wants to play in the Fade more often these days because soon her daytime will be nothing of work and stress. And he cannot be there for her until nighttime.

"Instead of worrying about work, how about you pay attention to your bondmate?" He distracts her with the question before giving her a long, playful lick. His big tongue almost shoves her to the side but she has gotten used to this to stay on her balance. Evelyn pays back with several light swats on his snout, the fur of her left side is all wet and sticking out as she giggles.

When Evelyn finally stops, she bumps her head against his much bigger one. Her emotions are now lighter and less clouded.

"Play with me?" She purrs, her raspy tongue laps at his nose.

"Of course." He nuzzles into her tiny neck.

Together, they walk into the mist that leads to a forest in summer.

xxXxx

Solas blinks at the dark canopy of their bed. The room is covering the dim light of the rising sun which signals this is the time they wake up. The air is cold, which means outside is even colder as he has cast heat magic before they slept.

Feeling a certain part of his body is quite awake than others, he huffs in annoyance. His game with Evelyn in the Fade has turned quite erotic near the end once they turned back into their real forms and usually, if they manage to finish it in their dream, nothing will happen to their physical body. But this time, they played for too long and was automatically awake before they could get to the last part, so all of his pending lust goes straight into his real body.

Looking down to the still sleeping Evelyn, Solas becomes more aware of how her soft body is pressing against his side with her head pillowing on his shoulder. One of her hands is splaying over his bared chest. The same hand that would leave marks on his back whenever they make love.

He turns his gaze to her slightly opened lips. Soft and inviting, but if he kisses her now he may lose control and she has not given him permission to have her body while she is sleeping.

Sighing, Solas shifts to his side to hug Evelyn closer to himself. He doesn't have to wait long because his heart slowly opens her eyes. She blinks blearily before finally focusing her attention to him. A smile blossoms on her lips.

"Good morning, Solas. How are you feeling? that was quite an interruption, wasn't it?" Her cheeks tint pink. She presses her hips against his, knowing what it will do to his body.

Groaning, he gives her an apologetic smile, "Yes, it was quite sudden."

"Let me help." His bondmate pushes herself up to hover over him. "Let me take care of you."

He doesn't get a chance to find a reply because Evelyn already upon him with a searing kiss.

When his wife finally releases his lips, she gives him a triumphant grin. "Do you want me?"

"Yes," he breathes, "Always."

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When he cups her cheek, and the act earns him a tender smile. Her arms tighten around his neck. Their foreheads touch as they nuzzle each other.

"Good morning, my heart." He hums.

xxXxx

He combs her hair lovingly, pressing a kiss here and there to the silky locks. Breakfast has been brought into their room, but instead of having just enough time to eat and then leave to start their day as usual, the couple can take it slow to share another quiet morning.

Two weeks ago, they both had rearranged their work schedules to give each other as much time as they can. Morning meetings are pushed back to an hour late, afternoon supervisions only happen on certain days, evening report writing is halved and given to the First Enchanters, senior mages and Elders. Each morning, he would give her a different hairstyle that the women of Arlathan used to have and each evening, she would make him a traditional elvhen dish that she learned from the elven maids. And finally at night, they would talk about anything and share everything until it is time for them to depart to the Fade.

In three days, Evelyn will leave for a three-month-long operation. If everything goes according to plans, there will only a single battle. This fight will be short, but nonetheless extremely important for them to set up a foundation to guard their borders against the Orlesians.

It will be a strike that will push back Orlais for at least a year, giving them time to consolidate the Dales' birth as the New Elvhenan.

However, for that plan of them to work, an entire community must become bait, and Evelyn will go incognito to oversee everything behind the scene with two other elders, a Keeper and a First Enchanter accompany her. Once the right moment comes, Solas will personally lead the main cavalry.

Everything has been planned out, and now they just need to follow it. But first, they need to finish breakfast and start the day soon.

xxXxx

The morning business seems to have started well, Solas thinks as he looks at the sheer amount of magic stones in the chamber, pilling up to the ceiling. With the correct arrangement, they could collapse a small mountain with a single trigger, and it is exactly what they will need.

"All the runes had been finished, my lord and lady." Harrion, the First Enchanter who co-controls this project sweeps his hand over the entire room. "They will explode in chain with each other upon your signal, but if something happens and one of these goes off on its own, it will not affect the other one."

Several mages, elves and humans alike step forward. Each presents an individual stone that seemingly

"Now you can start to transfer them." Saemi, the Keeper of clan Levira reports, she gestures over the large chart on the wall. "We have even invented a new type of ritual circle so you can install them with shorter time and greater quantity in each attempt."

This couple of human First Enchanter and evlen Elder is another successful example of soulmates between the two races. Their first meeting has ended with a big argument due to their teaching style but over the years, they have bonded and created the special unit of magic users who specialize in enchanting and weaponizing runes and potions.

And now, another fruit of their labor is finally here—an entire arsenal of explosive that will decapitate the largest army Empress Selene has managed to gather after the fall of the Dales.

"You all have done a wonderful job." Evelyn smiles. "Please begin to pack up those stones, we will leave according to our schedule three days from now. A final briefing will be held on the day before the departure so please make sure to attend."

She then turns to Harrion, a teasing smile appears on her lips. "Tomorrow, we two will need a separate meeting to go over what needs to be done. Will that be all right with you, Uncle Harry?"

Harrion snickers, "Of course, my dear Niece."

"Do explain thoroughly, Lady Evelyn." Saemi chimes in, smirking. "My bondmate is an air-headed that needs to be monitored at all times. You won't believe how many times I have to tell him to stop dropping his tasks to do other things just because he thinks they are more interesting."

"I will keep that in mind." Evelyn smiles.

Saemi's husband harrumphs, "Hey, woman, don't act like you are the responsible one here? Who is the one that constantly stops you from destroying this building? Me! Who stops you from burning down an entire testing side? Also me! Don't you dare to badmouth me with other people when I haven't done so to you!"

"Oh, Mythal! Look at the human sprouting lies left and right! Wasn't it you who insulting me to your entire group the first time we met?" Saemi rolls her eyes, her hand waves dismissively.

"We weren't bondmates back then so it doesn't count."

The near middle-age couple continues to bicker but since Solas and Evelyn have gotten used to their antics, they make no attempts to intervene.

Solas smiles. Harrion, the older human mage will be one of the two elders accompany Evelyn. In his case, he will disguise as her uncle. Saemi was supposed to be the other companion but due to the discovery of her pregnancy, the position has been given to another Keeper.

Even so, Solas is not quite certain that being with child would actually hinder the woman—given that she is still very active in testing out her experiments and destroying the labs in the progress much to the chagrin of her First and Second, along with the apprentice Circle mages.

Deciding that their meeting can finish, Solas take his wife's hand and leads her out after giving a slight dip of his head toward the pair of (affectionately) bickering soulmates. It is a pity that they have to end this so soon when Evelyn seems to have a great amusement in observing the other couple but another meeting is waiting for them.

The carriage takes them to another district, where a white building with the insignia of the Special Healing Unit.

Solas cannot say that he looks forward to this particular meeting but it is necessary. Evelyn agrees with him, even if her hand is now clinging tightly to his as they walk toward the solemn healers standing in front of the main door.

xxXxx

The group walks through the hallway with several open doors. Each room contains several beds with various patients and spirits floating around. Most people in those rooms look well enough which proves that the development of new healing techniques and the research of the revival of old Elvhen healing magics is going well.

However, there are things that the knowledge of his old world does not have and it gnaws at his guilt. That rotten feeling only amplifies when they come near their destination. A separate floor where the constant wailings of anguish, fear, and hatred are the norm.

Just as the couple steps into the first room of the floor, a vase goes flying at them.

Solas is fast enough to pull Evelyn behind him while simultaneously erect a barrier around them. The vase impacts with the transparent shield and shatters into small pieces.

"No, no, no!" A screaming young elven man struggles desperately against the hold of three young healers, the sunburst brand is still so clear on his forehead. "I can't stay here, I won't do magic, I promise! Sir Lawrence will hurt me! Please, I'll be good, just let me go!"

"Calm down, Rohan!" One of the healers pleads, trying to keep his charge still without hurting him further. "There's no Templars here. No one here will hurt you. Please stay calm!"

The other cured Tranquil in the room are hurdling together in one corner. Their faces are wet with tears. Some of them are covering their ears with their trembling hands as they whimpering.

Beside him, Evelyn is preparing to lend a hand but before she could step forward, a spirit flies through the door toward the struggling group. The stillness presenting around it lets Solas know it is a Spirit of Tranquil so he pulls Evelyn back and let the being does its job.

The spirit flings itself at Rohan, its arms wrap around him into a gentle embrace. Immediately, the young man ceases his outburst enough that he simply drops down to his knees.

Rohan shakes and cries, all the will to fight in him disappears, leaving behind a broken shell drowning in fear and despair. He thrashes sluggishly in the embrace, seemingly too tired to actually put forces into it and yet too hurt to be still. Tranquil tries to calm him down in vain—panic starts to radiate from it.

"I cannot do more." It says in a gentle male voice. "If I continue to tranquilize him like this, it may cause him to lose his ability to control himself in the future."

"S-save m-me." Rohan coughs out the words between bouts of sobs and gasps for breath. "Ma-make it s-stop."

Evelyn squirms out of Solas's hold to run forward. She pulls both the spirit and the former Tranquil into her arms, cooing soft words of comfort into his ears.

The young man still cries and weeps, but he eventually stops his thrashing. And it just enough for Evelyn casts a sleeping spell on him.

Rohan slacks in the arms of Tranquil who gives him to the healers. It stands up and nods to Solas's bondmate. "Thank you. He is not truly calm at the moment but that was enough for him to get rest. I shall go to his dream and help him get used to the Fade."

The spirit flickers away into the Fade, leaving behind a quiet Evelyn who slowly stands up. Her face is blank, there are no tears but Solas can notice the way her breathing is a little deeper than normal.

Solas steps up to stand next to her and together, they smile at the other patients in the room, who are now looking at the couple with unsure and apprehensive expression.

"Greetings," Solas smiles. "I am glad that we can finally meet you all."

xxXxx

The barrier he cast around this balcony is doing a good job of keeping the heat in. And there is enough sunlight to brighten the place. Solas pours a generous amount of hot milk into the tea as he tries to take in as much of the pleasant space around him as possible.

Most of the Winter Palace is using the same style of Orlesian decoration as before due to budgets being focused on the military and governing the changing political and economic system. However, the main rooms where most businesses are conducted in and the couple's own personal spaces had been changed to be covered in carpets and murals that would reflect the culture and spirit of his people.

For example, this particular balcony with short stone rails that overlook Evelyn's little garden has been converted into a little sanctuary for the two of them. A roof expands over their heads while the floor they sit on is covered with a thick, colorful carpet that radiating enchanted with warmth magic. Some of the smaller branches of the magnolia tree he grew for Evelyn are so close to the rails that one can just sit on the carpet and still be able to reach for them. Around the couple are various embroidered pillows and a few colorful quilts made by Evelyn in different motifs and stories.

A few dishes of food are spread in the center of the carpet, accompanied by a boiling kettle of water on a small hot stove. Evelyn is sitting with her back against the wall and her legs stretching out. Her thick cloak has been replaced with a shawl and her hair is down. The sunlight that shines into their little corner casts a shadow upon the upper half of her face.

It would be a truly serene picture, if not for the blank look on his love's face.

Her life within the Circle, basically being raised by the Tranquil themselves when other mages ostracized her, has given Evelyn a unique view on the situation that even he cannot understand.

Just as he thinks to that part, Evelyn opens her mouth. "You still remember Maria, right?"

He nods, Maria was a Tranquil whom Evelyn would mention now and then. Evelyn has always been reluctant to reveal more about the woman other than the fact that she was the closet thing his bondmate had for a mother figure during her years in the Tower.

"She was a teenager when I first came to the Tower." Evelyn begins, "Just like everyone else, she didn't talk to me. But she never threw curses at me or told me to leave whenever I happened to be alone in the same room as her. Sometimes, she would even help me with my chores because I was so small and unused to labor."

Evelyn's eyes look into the empty air, distant and glassy. Solas stays silent, not wanting to interrupt her.

"She was so beautiful that a Templar named Jon took a liking to her. She refused him so he turned her into a Tranquil. She couldn't say 'no' afterward."

Solas grimaces at that. Tranquil on some levels are even worse than slaves because at least slaves can be taught to think or still have a will of their own to find an escape. Not all slaves would reach a level where they simply are an empty shell. The same cannot be said for the Tranquil.

Evelyn continues, "One night when I was ten, I ventured to the library to search for a book I forgot. I discovered Jon raping her in a corner of the place, one hand strangling Maria's throat why the other keep punching her face if she just breathed too deep.

"I screamed. It was the first time I felt such rage. I pushed the bastard away from Maria and was so angry, I was preparing to burn him to death, consequences be damned. I only managed to scar his hands before Maria stopped me."

Solas rises an eyebrow. A Tranquil wouldn't do something like that. Usually, they would just stand still until they receive the next order. Evelyn just gives him a look.

"She looks at me with her battered face and empty eyes and said, 'Don't. They will kill you afterward.' She kept holding onto me so I could only curse at the Templar. I invoked your name and promised that he would wish for death if he ever touched her again.

"The man ran away so Maria took me back to my room. She didn't let go of my hand throughout all the walk and when I was finally be put to bed, she has said 'Thank you.'"

"What happened after that?" asks Solas.

"I wrote a letter to my parents the next morning right after I woke up. I told them everything. I was so angry that I didn't care whether they would do something about it or not, I just wanted to vent my frustration. But once I calmed down, I realized that by directly attacked a Templar, I could warrant my death sentence.

"Yet it never came. That Templar did look at me with ill intent in his eyes afterward but before anything could happen, just a month after that horrible night, Jon was found dead. Falling down a stair was the cause, at least that was what they said but there were whispers about him being bludgeoned to death instead. The funny thing was that the Templar who found Jon's body was a Bayart, a distant relative of my family. That cousin of mine was soon transferred to another Circle and the last thing I heard from him was that after the Mage-Templar war, he quitted and become a Captain instead."

This revelation gives Solas a pause. He knows that Evelyn's parents are famous for their strict-bearing and ruthless dealings with anything they consider as rule-breaking. A piece of particular information he gathered is that Bann Trevelyan had secretly ordered three of his nephews to be killed for raping female elves, a crime that most humans would rather ignore.

All of the Trevelyan's children were raised with the strictest standards. They are either Templars, Seekers, or Scholars if they don't inherit or marry other Nobles. It was simply no surprise that they would immediately deliver Evelyn to the Circle of Ostwick the moment her magic appeared. And yet…

No sane, proper Andrastian nobles would give resources to a mage to research on an Elvhen disaster god, especially when said "evil" god is the soulmate of the mage. And no sane nobles would have a relative of them assassinated a Templar just because a child told them about his crime.

There are too many contradictories in the way Bann Trevelyan and his wife act.

Realizing that he is getting off tracks, Solas turns his attention back to Evelyn. "What about Maria? What happened to her?"

Evelyn gives him a strained smile, "She returned to her job like nothing had happened. No complains, no crying or depressions—just as a Tranquil should be. But I noticed that I have more treats than the other mages—cakes, sweets, fruits, cream— if the others had one, I would have two, even three. And whenever I asked for tea to get me through my hours in the library, she always made a special recipe that only I got to taste. When it was my turn to do kitchen duties, it was her and the other kitchen staff who taught me how to cook and sew.

"I became used to be around the Tranquil and thus, spending most of my time among them than with other normal people. It hurt to look at them and yet they were the only ones who would accept me. I could still recall the first time I bled, I was scared until Maria and the other Tranquil came and help me clean up.

"But, Solas, do you know that many female Tranquil are sterilized? One of the jobs for a Circle mage healer is actually helping with permanent contraception."

Solas's eyes widen in horror. He could understand right away her implication. Can't have a "toy" getting pregnant and outs the culprit, can't have a mage giving birth to more mages either. His lips press into a thin line in disgust.

Evelyn plays with the fringes of her shawl, sighing. "When the Annulment came, the Templars gathered all of the older mages like me into the dining hall but before they could attack, I threw an explosive flask and that gave us mages an opening to retaliate.

"Maria was the one who gave it to me. This is just my guess but perhaps the Templars had no qualms to talk about their plan in front of her, thinking that by just giving her an order of not to talk they would be safe.

"And yes, Maria didn't say anything about the Annulment. But she somehow obtained that flask and gave it to me, saying that I should guard myself."

"Evelyn…"

"Even in her state, Maria was still managed to give me more care and love than anyone else in that place. Because of her, I could see that Tranquil are not just walking corpses. They have a will of their own, even if it could be so easily written over by others."

Pulling her knees against her chest, Evelyn looks at him and yet it feels like she is not seeing him at all. "Maria… After I escaped the dining hall, I ran to the floor where the children were and found her there. She and another Tranquil had been struck down by three Templars for standing between them and the children. It was the first time I let my rage fully out and I burnt two of them alive while turning the blood of the last one into ice and shattered him to pieces. They were my first kills."

Her eyes turn blank like a Tranquil. And so, Solas cannot sit still anymore. He pulls Evelyn to him, bundling her into his arms. His hand rubs comfortable circles on her back. Evelyn presses her nose against the crook of his neck, her voice slightly muffled in a monotonous tone, "I left the Circle wanting to bring down the Veil in hope of seeing miracles and wonders exists once more. But more than that, I don't want to see another 'Maria'. I don't want to see any sunburst brand on the forehead of any mages. I fight and fight so that one day the Tranquil can be cured…"

Evelyn's hold around him tightens, her nail digging into his back and shoulder almost painful. "We can take over a land and make it our own. And yet we cannot ease the pain of those who are suffering. We can heal the body but we cannot touch the soul without negative effects. All we can do is wait…"

A sob. "It's frustrating… Too frustrating…"

Solas pulls back a little to see her face. There is no tears, only a deep scowl on her face accompanying by blood-shot eyes. It hurt to see her like this, knowing that he was the source of all the pains she feels. He had thought that the Veil only hurt his people but he was wrong, and it was only after meeting Evelyn that he had realized the severity of his actions.

The moment Evelyn sees his own face, her expression turns apologetic.

"I'm sorry." She cups his face. "I shouldn't talk about those things and upset you like this."

So that is the reason she never talked more about her old caretaker until now. Why didn't he recognize all the signs sooner? Evelyn never keeps any secrets from him, unless it is something that she knows will trouble him. Any time she refuses to say something, it's always because she wants to protect him.

Giving Evelyn a reassuring smile, Solas shakes his head. "Don't be. Do not say sorry for sharing everything with me. If anything, it should be I who need to apologize. I've given you my words that we will save all Tranquil and yet…"

He presses his forehead against her, murmuring. "I will push for more funds and resources to go to the healing department. It will speed up the research so please, I'm so sorry about this, but could you wait just a bit more?"

"You will do that? Didn't you want to push for the reconstruction of all departments' facilities first?"

"I can still do it, they will just process a little slower so don't you worry about it." He strokes the skin beneath her eyes. Solas smiles a little when Evelyn leans into his touch.

"Thank you." Her words come out barely a whisper but the way those thin fingers clench at his shirt speaks enough of everything she feels.

Solas holds his wife for a long while until he sees that her breathing and heartbeats have returned to normal.

"Now then," He pulls away a bit to hand her the tea, not forgetting to pull more heat to warm it up. "Drink this, then eat. It has been a long morning for you."

He emphasizes by holding out a plate with slides of bread cover with vegetable mix. Evelyn gives him a resigning smile and takes a piece.

Looking at her slowly chew on her food, Solas starts to form a plan that would ease her stress at least for today.

The first part would be their training session in this mid-afternoon. He has started teaching Evelyn how to use knives and short blades for a while now. Solas had lived for so long that he had picked up almost every common weapon. He, of course, still favors his staff the most and would not call himself an expert on everything else but he does know enough to teach the basics. And since it was Evelyn who asked him to be her teacher, he simply couldn't refuse.

And now he has found another benefit in this job other than just giving Evelyn another mean to protect herself.

xxXxx

"Focus, Evelyn! Don't just wave your knife randomly. Observe my movements and then attack!" Solas shouts as he slaps on her hand hard enough for her to almost drop her weapon.

He watches his wife tightens her grip on the knife while her other hand reaches for his right arm, planning to keep him in place.

As usual, Solas quickly disarms her and in a blink of an eye, he already has his arm around her neck. She grits her teeth, struggling to escape but fails.

"Evelyn, you need to stop seeing your blade as a staff that can cause damages with just a blunt hit." Solas lets go of her while explaining. His voice even. "Arm for the open parts and make every movement count. You can't take many direct hits to yourself up-close, so you must make sure that you can hurt your opponent in just a few movements to give yourself time to get away."

It's obvious how frustrated Evelyn is with the way she is staring at the blade in her hand but Solas must say that he is a little relief. The more she focuses and exhaust herself into this lesson, the less energy she will give to the event this morning.

"Do you want to try again?" He asks, already knowing her answer.

His beloved looks at him and walks back. She gets into her pose, her eyes burn with more life than the listless look during lunch.

"Thank you, my love." Evelyn smiles after the words and launches toward him.

xxXxx

They are walking on the top floor of the city's outer wall, after another inspection of the magic ward. Everything is going so well that the two of them actually ended their last task of the day early and get some time for a stroll slowly for their own pleasure before dinner.

They discuss missions and various reports and when the topics of the day run out, as usual, they switch to talk about their personal life.

"You have never made love in the morning before?" Evelyn asks in astonishment.

The snow have started to come two weeks ago, creating a white blanket over the city. But on the walls such as here, fire runes have been applied to ensure the grounds don't become too slippery. The winds are strong out and they blow the loose strands of Evelyn's hair against her face.

"In the traditional way of 'sleeping together then wake up and do it'? No." Solas shakes his head. "I did not trust most of my lovers enough to actually sleeping with them after the act. Usually, I just went back to my room after I've finished. Once in a very long while, if I were enthusiastic and trusting enough to stay until morning then yes, there was sex. But even those were just sex—fucking—not making love, vhenan. There was never enough trust to sleep together all night. It wasn't until you that I get to enjoy it in the way you mean."

He has emphasized by using the word "fucking" but he decides to make it even clearer by pushing a lock of hair behind his bondmate's ear and then gives her tender kiss that ends with a light nip. "There are so new things I have experienced ever since you chose to be with me. And I am happy that I get to enjoy them with you and no one else."

The fun he had back then was good. He enjoyed all the benefits his position as Mythal's Champion could give him—women, power, influence, wealth, it gave him the ability to do anything he wanted for himself and for others. But in the end, when he was in his bed at night, there was always a silence that nothing could fill up. Solas can still remember how he would walk the empty halls of his castle at night, unsure of where to go or what to do until he decided to just return to the Fade like always.

Evelyn weaves her fingers with his, signaling for him to stop walking. She presses his hand against her cheek and hums, her eyes close in a way that she is thinking about something very pleasant.

When she finally opens her eyes, she blushes but still speaks out her words so clearly, "Will you make love to me as I sleep? On the day that I will leave?"

He laughs, "Did you get that idea today or before that?"

"I have been thinking about it for a while but this morning … well, you looked at me so lustful. I just cannot stop wondering what it would be like for you to have complete control of my body."

"I assume there is more." He grins with half-lidded eyes. His hand tilts her chin up.

"I want you to remember everything, and then show it to me in the Fade. I want to see everything." She bites her bottom lip at the last part. "Another memory for our little collection?"

Solas grins like a wolf finally catches his prey. They have started to use the Fade to relive their moments of intimacy for a while now and he must agree that there are always more fun things to be added. He pulls Evelyn flush against his front, snaking his arms around her like vines.

"Something funny?" Evelyn tilts her head at him.

"Oh how you have changed, my wife. I can still remember how shy and innocent you were back when we first had each other." He gently sways her in his embrace, his nose nudges against her cheekbone. Her hot breaths fanning his face. "Look how vulgar you are now, seducing a man like this."

"Wasn't it you who corrupt me, husband?" She whispers with laughter in her voice, hands reach up to capture his face. The coldness from her skin seeps into his flesh. "Remember that time when you took me on that balcony? During a ball, no less? How about the several times you want me to suck you off in our office? And how about the nights where you had me to call you Master and done unspeakable things to my body? I was an innocent girl once until you painted me black."

"Indeed, it was I who tainted you." With a hard yank, he pulls her off her feet only to be dipped backward so he can loom over her. "You are the most beautiful when you see only me and know only what I can give you. I have dyed you black so that you can only be mine."

They stare at each other…

… And both burst into uncontainable laughter. The two clings to one another and laugh until it becomes too much and they have to stop.

"I cannot believe we actually say something that corny! 'Painted black'? Oh, Maker, that one comes straight out from those romance novels Cassandra has!" Evelyn crackles, wiping at the tears on the corner of her eye.

"They are as bad as the erotic novels Varric wrote!" Solas agrees as he tries to calm himself down and to not drop Evelyn who is leaning against him.

She is finally laughing. Solas feels pride surges through his chest. It is quite embarrassing to say those corny words but it makes Evelyn laugh so he considers it a win. In fact, he would not mind doing it again at all.

Yanking her arm up, Solas spins Evelyn around on her legs, making her giggle. He talks about all the things he could and already done to her in a voice that he often used to seduce women in his younger days.

That only makes Evelyn laugh even harder.

xxXxx

Luke has spent most of his life in a small city living with a pair of shitty parents who sold his little sister Mara to the Circle the moment her magic appeared. Their family was poor and when he wasn't working his ass off for some staled bread, he would go and play with the kids in the elven ghetto because what's the point of hating their pointy ears when both he and them are both living a shitty life?

So when the call of Fen'Harel came for all elves to leave and follow him, not mentioning Mara's actually came to him and ask if he wants to live with her, Luke just packed everything up and left. The battles were hard and he only helped with resupplying weapons and rations in the beginning, but eventually, he learned to fight and joined the front line.

Now, he is working as a tower guard to Capital of the New Elvhenan kingdom, Luke must say that his life is pretty good. His sister is happy, there are no parents to beat the siblings up, their stomachs are full, they are clothed and everyday he gets to watch all the fun stuff magic can do—the spirits still occasionally freak him out, though. But overall, he is pretty content with his life.

Not now, though, not when he is guarding his post in such cold weather and there is a sickeningly sweet couple flirting with each other on the top of the wall for all to see. When he first heard of the Dread Wolf and what the man could do, Luke has thought he must be a hard-ass who is all gloomy and dangerous. But after several times seeing what their leader is like in the company of his bondmate, the guard would actually prefer him to be a dangerous god.

Maker! Looks how they dance around in each other arms in their own little world, flaunting their happiness around! Argh, so envious! Fuck those two!

Luke glances aside to his partner of the shift, Evin. He asks, "Hey, did you hear what they talk about?"

Evin exhales, eyes narrow, his pointed ears twitch twice. "Enough that I wish I'm deaf. Oh Creators, do they have to discuss that in the open?"

"What did they say?"

"Long short story, they have a _very_ vibrant sex life. I wish I could forget that…"

"Urgh."

The two guards lapse into silence before Luke speaks up again, "I want a girlfriend."

"Same here…" Evin wrinkles his nose a bit before asking, "Hey, want to get a drink after this shift?"

"Sounds good to me."

Silence comes again as the two men watching their bosses on the wall start to kiss—no, more like devouring each other's face and—

Wait. WAIT!

Maker's breath! Are they dry-humping each other?! Are they actually doing it here!?

"Those two should get a room!" Exclaims Luke follows by a groan of frustration.

Evin snorts. "Yeah, tell them that and they will fire both of us. Or send us to latrine duty."

"Ugh, this is torture!"

"…Agreed."

xxXxx

The next day, Solas receives a list of complaints from several soldiers, guards, and other personnel who _strongly suggest_ that he and Evelyn should move their activities to somewhere more private.

He can only groan and remind himself that it was him and his bondmate who gave the order that all upper ranks personnel must receive and listen to opinions from lower ranks, regardless of occupations.

Itha, who is in the same room with him, just give a wry smile. "Well, at least they do actually use the suggestion box as you want, right, my lord?"

Solas just glares at him.

xxXxx

This morning is even colder, Solas thinks. He weaves more heat into the air, hands rub against Evelyn's bare back as she slumbers in his arms.

Today is the day and as they have agreed, he has left the Fade much sooner than her. But he doesn't want to make love to his bondmate just yet. The room is still dark, and there are much time for him to enjoy his love.

Let go of her, Solas props himself up to observe her face.

When she sleeps, Evelyn looks much younger and far more innocent than she actually is; and it reminds him that she _is_ young, at least when compared to him. Not only that, he knows that a part of her will never outgrow that little girl with empty eyes and stony expression.

It isn't the first time he does this, but he once again wonders what Evelyn would be like had she been born as a normal human—no magic, no soulmate. Perhaps, with what she had described of her life before the Circle, she would grow up to be perfect lady that could marry any nobles or royals she want. Or maybe she would become a scholar who contributes to the good of the world and be loved by all.

But no, she is his now. _His_ , and no one else. Body, heart and soul and even the control of her own self had he ever die before his time—she had given him all of those and now, she gives him the permission to touch her body when she is in her most vulnerable state, and there is no one else will ever have that privilege. Such a thought sends a delicious shiver down his spine.

What could he do to repay her? What could he give her that would even compare to what she had done for him? What could he do to make her laugh and never have to remember all the sorrow in her life? Solas's mind racks through all the things they had done together, his hand mindlessly pulls down the front of Evelyn's nightgown to expose her chest.

His fingertips trace along the long, red, angry scar between her breasts. As he had expected years ago, it does not fade away or even change color. All the other scars on her body have healed and faded a bit with his help but not this one.

He presses his lips to it and then a line up to where her neck meets her jaw. His hands map out her body, knowing exactly where should be touched to make her skin flush and her breathing a bit quicker.

Solas smiles, even in deep sleep, she still reacts to his love.

 _So warm and soft._

Kisses soon turns into licks. Long lecherous licks then turns into light bites. That animal in him that only want to feast upon her flesh but a more rational part of him reminds Solas to savor her gift properly.

Leaving behind a trail of wet kisses, he slots himself between her legs and arrive at her opening. Solas quickly removes her underwear and nuzzles against her mound. He needs to prepare her carefully since they did not do it last night, as he needed time to perform maintenance on her prosthetic arm while she wanted to have a longer sleep.

 **(AO3)**

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A thin sheen of sweat coats their skin as they lay together trying to catch their breaths. Solas looks at Evelyn to see satisfaction and happiness glow in her eyes and it lights up his heart. They curl into each other, hands cupping cheeks and noses almost touching.

"This is certainly not a bad way to wake up!" Evelyn declares softly.

Solas's mouth turns into a crooked smile. He weaves his hand into her hair. "Then we can do this any time you like."

"You really spoil me, you know?" His wife sighs in content. She wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes. The lower part of her body is pressing hard against his. "How can I repay you now?"

She pulls him into a kiss. He does not know how long it last but by the time they finally part, he is hard again with her finger teasing his tip.

Evelyn turns around in his arms to lay on her stomach. She props herself up on one elbow and spreads her behind with the free hand.

"Come to me, my love." The look on her face takes all thoughts out of his head. Solas quickly gets on top of his wife, fully preparing to penetrate her when several knocks on the door come from behind the door.

"My Lady, your group is waiting! Is anything wrong in there?"

Solas pales.

 _Shit…_

xxXxx

It was humiliating.

Solas drags himself back into their bedroom. The two of them have been so busied with each other that they have completely forgotten that Evelyn was supposed to leave early.

After the servant came calling for Evelyn, the couple had to scramble all over the places to dress themselves. Evelyn had attempted to at least make tea for breakfast but in the end, she only managed to stuff a piece of bread into her mouth while Solas helping her to lace her boots.

They had practically run through the palace to find her unit waiting for her at the destinated yard.

Itha was there to see her go and he had given the couple a look that said, "Seriously!?"

The old Wolf wipes a hand over his face as he lays down on the couch. He has unconsciously wanting to prolong his time with Evelyn to the point that he forgot his duty, such a thing…

Even during his wilder day when he drowned himself in pleasure, Solas would always push them aside when he received missions from Mythal. Quitting duties for fun was something he only has done during his time as an adolescent before he became the Champion of Arlathan.

A chuckle slips out of his mouth.

Only her, only Evelyn could make him act like this. Only she could make him forget everything else. And knowing Evelyn, she must be now blaming herself for embarrassing him and will work even harder at her role.

 _Tonight, I need to reassure her. It was my fault as much as hers._

Solas concludes. He reaches for a piece of cheese but stops when he notices a cup full of liquid sitting next to the tray.

She has forgotten to drink her tea. Such a waste. Without thinking, Solas takes a sip from the cup—

—and immediately spits it out when he realizes it's Evelyn's _contraceptive tea_.

Mentally cursing, Solas pours himself a big cup of water to clear his mouth. This tea is an ordinary one that most women use so he's never thought much about it before. It has almost no smell and he has only acquainted with its after-flavor whenever he kisses Evelyn at the beginning of each week. He didn't know the actual taste of that tea could be this _vile_. Spirits, his mouth is going numb even after he has washed it! It feels like his stomach is starting to hurt, too! Is this what women have to endure just to avoid pregnancy?

Exhaling in annoyance, Solas resumes eating his breakfast, mentally noting to himself that he needs to do create a new potion so his bondmate won't have to drink that thing again. No, he can just perform birth control magic on himself from now on so Evelyn doesn't need to bother with this anymore. It has been thousands of years since the last time he'd done so but it is time to get back the old habit.

 _Really, I should have done it from the beginning instead of leaving Evelyn to deal with it alone all these years. What kind of bondmate am I to be this irresponsible?_

Solas thinks as he steps into his office. A scowl comes to his face when he sees the tower of paper he needs to look before starting the meeting this afternoon. Today work is mainly about distributions of tax and loans for newly establish communities so he will be very busy.

Hahh… Already, he wants to have his beloved with him.

xxXxx

Evelyn has ceased to contact him in the Fade. Everything was fine for two months, but three weeks ago, she simply starts to send spirits to relay her messages to him. Apparently, the reason is that she is very busy with the preparation.

But Solas knows better than to believe such an obvious lie. She is hiding something. And from the look on Felassan's face, he knows Solas has already expecting some honest answers.

"Speak," The Dread Wolf says simply. "What is it that makes my bondmate avoiding me?"

Felassan sighs, "Please, my lord, please keep calm after this."

Solas quirks an eyebrow at the warning but when the next words come out of his subordinate's mouth, all of his calmness and rationality just disappear.

The dream shatters into pieces and before he could even let the full situation sink in, Solas has already ordered the entire army to move faster in the dark of the night.

In his anger and worry, a small part of his brain concludes that they will not need any contraceptive for the next six months. But only if he gets to her first before she does something foolish that that might bring irreplaceable damages.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I... have no excuses. I got myself into Fire Emblem: Three Houses and now cannot get out of it until I finish all 4 routes. This chapter was also too long so I procrastinated in my writing. But I cannot let you all wait any longer so I divided this chapter into two. The plot in this chapter focuses more on world-building so there isn't much romance in it, even so, I hope you will like it.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

* * *

"Hey, fix this before the day after tomorrow, will ya! These 're more important than your toys so don' be late." Some guy Ghilen doesn't bother to recognize throws a bunch of shovels and pickaxes to the ground next to him. He just gives it one glance before grumbling, the hand he is using to hammer the wheel speeds up to vent out his frustration.

"Ghilen do this, Ghilen do that. And boom! Ghilen do everything." Ghilen makes a face as he mimics what he'd been hearing for the last two months since he came here, his long ears twitch and jerk in great annoyance against his blond hair. "Fucking hell, are all the metal workers in this place that incompetent that they have to shove all the work onto me!? I'm an inventor, not a Creators-damned smith! And my inventions are not toys!"

"Shut the hell up, Ghi!" His bondmate, Hans, shouts from the other end of the room. He doesn't stop his foot from turning the grinding wheel and neither his hands cease their precision in moving the blade at the right angles. "Finish that thing and get to the next patch already or I'll burn your drawings!"

"You wouldn't dare." Ghilen gasps before growling.

"I would if you force me to eat stale bread tonight again. I want cheese, I want some proper soup with real vegetables in it instead of just weed boiling in water!"

"Take that back, you asshole! It was a traditional recipe of my people!"

"Well, your traditional recipe sucks!" The dark-haired man pauses, before adding, "Or maybe it's just you, with all those weeds and tree barks you put in that pot."

"Well, you should have stopped me from buying that drill. We could have some money left to eat. You know well that I tend to act impulsively!" It was a good drill, expensive but good, and can do all the small little holes easily. It even came with a free compass as a bonus! But now, Ghilen is regretting choosing it instead of giving his love proper food.

"How could I?! You were so happy to have it and—" Hans hesitates and then sighing. "Forget it. It's okay… I can eat just bread another night. Better than nothing."

"Hans…" Ghilen thinks he's going to cry but Hans hates it when he does that so he just returns to his work with a new fever. "I'll work longer today. We can have that onion pottage you like so much. I'll work harder for you, vhenan!"

"Idiot…" Hans blushes, the redness reaches even to his ears. "Don't just say that in broad daylight like this…"

Suddenly, Ghilen is reminded clearly that it had been days since they last intimated. And with the light from the furnace shining on Hans's bare upper body. The elf licks his lips and once again thanks to the whoever above there for having blessed him with a soulmate with such a body. Ohh, look at those muscles!

"W—what are you looking at, you pervert?!" The brunette sputters, trying to cover his chest in vain. "Cut it out, we are in public place!"

"What? I'm just appreciating my bondmate, what's wrong with that?" Ghilen grins, revealing all of his teeth.

"Have you no shame, you perverted elf!?"

"When it comes to you? No. An—"

"A-am I come at a bad time?" A soft voice from the door draws the attention of both men.

 _Oh shit…_

A young woman stands there with wide eyes and face as red as her hair that drowning out all the freckles on her face. One of her feet is placed far back from the other indicating that she's planning to run away. Her hands, which hold a big basket, is pressing against her mouth to stop herself from screaming in embarrassment.

"Nononono. It's okay, Elaine. You can stay!" Hans quickly stands up, reaching for his shirt to put it on in record speed.

"Yes! It's nothing at all!" Ghilen stands up and walks to her. He tries his best to conceal his embarrassment but fails somewhat. "What can we do for you?"

He asks, yet he already has an inkling of what she will say and can't help but feel great anticipation for it.

"Uhm, I made more food than planned. And Uncle will eat with his friends today." The red-head human girl smiles shyly. Her thick eyebrows smoothed out into a gentle expression. "Would you two like some? There should be enough for even dinner."

In just a split of a second, both his and Hans's arms are wrapped around the young woman, squeezing the life out of her until she squeaks. "Ca-can't b-breath!"

When they let her go, Elaine giggles and opens the basket for them to look. Ghilen can feel his mouth water upon at the first wisp of a heavenly scent. He can see bread, freshly baked from the look of it, a big covered bowl with half a small cheese wheel.

In just a few minutes, the two men are now sitting on a low bench, stuffing food into their mouth like no tomorrow.

It's so good, so good. The bread is still warm and mixed with fragrant herbs. The soup is made from potatoes, carrots, and parsnips that cooked until soft enough to melt on their tongue. The cheese is being grilled by Elaine on a small fire and she would expertly place small gooey globs on the pieces of bread for the two men once she's done.

Elaine has to be one of the best cooks Ghilen ever met in his life. But then again, most cooks he knows were from dingy taverns and stalls in the ghetto so maybe his standard is a bit low. Nevertheless, he is so very grateful to Mythal, that the two of them has met Elaine in the forest that day.

Serious, when the two of them were on the verge of passing out from hunger and thirst, it was Mythal's blessing that Elaine stumbled upon them.

"E'lan, 'tis so gud." Ghilen exclaims as much as he could with his stuffed mouth.

"It's nothing. This's just a small gift for saving my life." Elaine smiles, pouring another cup of water for him to wash the food down. "In fact, I think feeding you two for a whole year wouldn't be enough to reward the two heroes attacking a big, mean black bear!"

The elf winces as his friend keeps gushing over their "feat". To be honest, at that time, he and Hans didn't think much aside from not wanting the beast to come near their savior, so they ended up trying to make stupid noises just distract the bear. And spirits helped them, but it actually worked! The bear actually walked quickly away and left the couple who dropped on their knees, unable to believe that they were both still alive.

And that was how they ended up here, in this mining village in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by mountains and forests.

As lovely as the view around here is, both Ghilen and Hans want to move to a proper city, maybe even Halamshiral, which had been renamed as Tualarthan, the new Capital of Elvhenan. But to go such a long journey will need money, and they have spent all of what they had to go from North-West Orlean to this border, so for now, the couple have to stay here to earn the fund for the next trip.

Or at least that is the plan. This village turned out the be specialized in mining a certain type of metal that can act as a conductor for minor magic rituals, which means there are many people who had witnessed the minor revolution of technology in the Capital that come here for businesses. And that means Ghilen ends up having too many new ideas for his inventions and uses up the fund for all the tools…

But he is so close, there is so much information he had gathered that allowed him to complete his drawings, and now he just needs to finish this particular design to prove for all. Then, he could sell this pattern for money, or could even find a sponsor that will take him and Hans to a city and pitch even more ideas!

Yes, he needs to focus a more, just a little more and he could give Hans everything, and they will not harass them any longe—

"Ghi, Ghi, do you hear me?" His love's voice pulls him out of his trance. With a shake of his head, Ghilen can see the worried look on Hans's and Elaine's face.

"Ehm, hear you loud and clear?" The elf makes a silly, confused face, the one he knows that will distract Hans.

"Hahh, got into one of your calculating and designing trance again?" Hans huffs, reaching out to pinch Ghilen's cheek affectionately. "At least stop doing that in front of our friend."

"Sorry, El." The elven inventor scratches his head, which only earns a laugh from Elaine.

"No worries, but speaking of design, how is your project?" She looks over to the big pile that is covered with a large cloth.

"Oh, pretty well, I think I can finish it within next week!" Exciting at the chance to show off his invention, Ghilen runs up to the pile to pull off the cloth, revealing the thing he has dubbed "Artificial Wings" or "Artwings" for short!

"Just called it wings, or flying machine." Hans waves his hands with a snort. "None of that of your lame names, please."

Ignore his very rude bondmate, Ghilen starts to explain all the details and changes he had added to the machine. Through all that time, Elaine listens with such a focus that it gives him a big boost in confidence, not as much as Hans's, of course, but definitely more than most people who had seen his works.

When he finishes, Elaine claps her hands with a big smile on her face while Hans has a proud expression and a thumb up!

"You're a genius, Ghilen!" The young woman exclaims, "This machine could help scientists track and observe the land for exploration, help messengers to pass cliffs and mountains in shorter times, it can even be used to pass ropes between low and high areas for construction! This can bring so many benefits to everyone!"

Well, all the things Elaine just listed certainly in line with what he has in mind for this little creation but he knows better. Shaking his head, Ghilen sighs. "I think if anyone decides to mass-produce this thing, they would most likely use it as a weapon. Like, maybe the attach a mage to it, fly above and drop fireballs down or something."

"It doesn't have to be like that, I'm sure that people can see your creation is better to serve the public outside of war." Elaine protests, there is a hint of sadness in her voice. "Not all inventions have to be used for fighting, Ghilen."

"I wish, El, I really do." Hans sits down next to the girl, patting her shoulder gently. "But throughout all the way I and Ghilen traveled to get here, all the smiths and inventors we managed to meet were applying to join Empress Celene's army as researchers for her fight against Fen'Harel. And if the Dread Wolf is as old and wise as they say, he would know that he needs to do the same."

Elaine opens her mouth, "I kn—"

"Hey, Elaine, Harry needs you in the mine." Doshiel, an elf with Mythal marking, speaks up from the door. His posture relaxes as he leans against the wooden pole.

"Something happened?" Elaine asks but stands up nonetheless.

"Just some calculations need an extra hand. You know how he is, not gonna accept anyone outside his group."

"Right, I see." She turns to smile at the pair. "Sorry, I've to go now. After you finished the food, remember to return the basket in front of my house as usual."

Just like that, she departs, leaving behind the men who now munch slowly on their lunch instead of shoving it into their mouth like before.

"I think El is right, Ghi," Hans says evenly. "You could pitch this machine as something else instead of for the war."

"I know, but it'll be much slower to get a sponsor for that. And I want to get it as fast as I can." The elf reaches out to cup his lover's face. "I will do right for you, I promise. Once this is done, they won't be able to insult you anymore. I will prove to them that we are not useless, that there's nothing wrong with us."

"You know I don't care about it." Hans laughs through his nose as he leans into the touch. "I just want you to be happy, doing all of your silly inventions every day and makes me create the parts for you. That's all I want."

Ghilen makes a noise but doesn't try to refute Hans's words. His beloved maybe doesn't want confrontation, but Ghilen is different. He wants to do something, anything to change this. Even if it will be futile in the end, he has to do something. Just like when he saved Elaine, he couldn't just sit there when he could do something, even if he'll cost his life.

His face must have been too serious because Hans suddenly changes the topic. "Elaine is really busy, huh? She has to go into the mine a lot."

"Well, apparently, they just found a large deposit in one of the tunnels so they need more tools to deliver into there. I can hear they work even in the middle of the night."

"That's a lot of hard work. You think the Capital is preparing for something?"

"Who knows." Ghilen puts the remaining food into the basket before standing up and stretches himself. "Let's get back to work. I did promise to work hard today, right, fenor?"

"Damn right, you did, love."

xxXxx

Ghilen and Hans watch as people pile the crates onto the railed trolleys. From what they heard, the newly-discovered deposit is laying in the parts with huge hard stock so people need more tools for both digging and building the scaffolds above their head.

"That's a lot of crates." Hans comments, then taking a gulp from his waterskin.

"I think that's too many just for the first stage of exacting the ores." Ghilen frowns, remembers how he'd asked Elaine about the mine's structures. It wasn't for anything specific, he just wanted to know. And from what he heard, the inside of the mine is apparently quite normal with average sizes all around…

Which is why he finds the number of tools being transported inside are a bit too many. If feels like the mine is much bigger than what he knows… oh wait, Elaine only told him how big the tunnels are, but not how long. Maybe the mine is way longer than what he expected, Ghilen muses as he turns to look at the big trolleys carrying dirt, rock and such are being pushed out of the entrance. Yes, maybe, but no, why does he still have that feeling that he needs to ask more about the mine, because he's so damn curiou—

"IS THAT MILK ROOTS!?" Ghilen shrieks as he sprints forward like a mad man and then launches himself at one trolley containing several white roots. He grabs a few tubes in his hands, inspecting them before throwing his arms up and dances. "SPIRITS BLESSES ME! I'M SAVED!"

"What is that weirdo doing?" one human man asks.

"No ideas, he's crazy." An elf replies with a scoff. "You saw all the stuff he made in the workshop?"

"Oh yeah, crazy." Nods another elf. "That idiot spends too many times on those useless things. Why can't he just focus on his damn job, he's already useless with his soulmate." At his words, some of the humans and elves around them voice their agreement or just pretend not notice.

With that, the old rage inside Ghilen almost explodes outward. He trembles, hugging to roots to his chest to stop himself from lashing out. Not again, he will not let the same thing happens again to Hans.

"Ghi!" He hears Hans shouts and then feeling his beloved's arms around his smaller body. "You okay?"

"He's fine." The elf who has insulted Ghilen waves his hand in a dismissive gesture.

Hans snaps at him. "He doesn't look fine, you asshole! Seriously, why did we do that you people keep picking on us?"

"You two should go back and finish what we gave you. It's not like you have children to worry about so there'd be plenty of time for wo—"

"For what?" Elaine appears out of nowhere just a few steps away from them. Her eyes narrow and hard. "You all have time to taunt someone like this, shouldn't you all be working right now? We need to finish section C tonight, and I do remember that your group volunteered to work on that."

The group of humans and elves actually look ashamed. They murmur apologies—to Elaine, not Ghilen and Hans—before leaving. Exhaling with a shake of her head, the human woman runs to the couple, her face full of worry.

"Are you okay, Ghilen, Hans?" She asks. "I'm so sorry. They shouldn't have treated you two like that."

The blond shallows, he puts on a brave face and laughs, "Oh, absolutely, I'm fine. My skin is super thick!"

Hans even chimes in, "Yes, it's okay, we are good. Nothing too bad at all!"

A strange look appears on Elaine's face. To distract her, the inventor quickly holds out the roots in his arms. "El, can I have these, please, please?"

"Uhm, sure. But for what?" She tilts her head. "You want to make bottle corks?"

"No, no, you see, these roots are pretty flexible because of the sap in them. If I exact it out, then cook with additional ingredients at the right temperature, I can make parts for cushioning and special belts. Those, through different methods of cooking, can have different rigidness and flexibility and endurance. There are endless potentials for these, this is white gold!"

Just as he hopes, Elaine's eyes brighten up and her mouth opens into an around "o". "Really? You can do that! I want to see it. How did you even discover just an intricate thing?!"

"Eh? Hahaha, would you actually believe me if I said it was a complete accident? I just wanted to test if the sap can be eaten. Then I just added stuff from here and there because I was bored. Then Hans 'accidentally'"—he glares at his lover who pretends to be innocent—"add more things into it and boom, we had it!"

That makes her laugh. "Now I really want to see it. I want to see how you make this material. Will you show them to me?"

Even without the hopeful look in her eyes, Ghilen would still want to show everything to her. And with Elaine being so eager, he is extremely happy to do it.

"Ghi, Ghi, stop there. El still have work to do!" Hans muses his blond hair and laughs. "Remember? She needs to work tonight."

The elvhen inventor immediately deflates but can't deny it. Elaine _is_ busy. Sighing, he mumbles, "Sorry…"

Looking at her, he can see the obvious disappointment follows by resignation. Elaine gives him a weak smile. "Another day then?"

"Another day." Ghilen nods. Suddenly, he realizes that her face is somewhat redder than usual. He attempts to reach out to touch her forehead but stops himself just in time. Instead, he chooses to ask, "El, are you sick? Why is your face red?"

"Ah, no. It's nothing… I was just staying in the sun for too long. You know, redhead and all that!" Elaine grins.

"All right." Ghilen agrees, not quite believing it but decides to not push it. He takes Hans's into his hand and dips his head slightly at El. "Well then, guess we have to go now. Thanks for the roots, Elaine."

"Yes, thanks, with these, Ghi won't have to spend hours just to fix a single part anymore." Hans smiles. "So be sure to come over more often, El. My idiotic husband will love to give you a lecture."

"You bet I will!"

xxXxx

"You're still working?" Elaine peeks in from the doorway. Her hair looks a little messy and her eyes have dark circles around them. She looks like she didn't have a good sleep last night, or maybe the few past nights given that Ghilen hadn't seen her for three whole days.

"Yeah, just fixing some joints. They need to be thicker." The inventor grins, gestures for the woman to come and sit down. Once she does, and had made a great effort of not disturbing Hans who's passing out on the bench, Ghilen hands her his big mug of ale and asks, "You've been busy?"

"Hmm, it's sure it." El rotates her shoulders, looking so tired Ghilen has to wonder why she doesn't just go home and sleep now. She seems to catch what he's thinking so she gives him a small smile. "I just want to check on you two. You will finish this soon?"

"The end of this week, that's for sure."

"I'm looking forward to it." Elaine tries to smile but abruptly presses a hand to her mouth instead. She makes several gagging sounds before making a big swallow follows by a deep breath.

"Are you sick?" It's hard to see her complexion with the light source being the red hot furnace, but Ghilen can see the way sweat clam thick to her skin and red hair in such a short time.

"I'm… fine. Just a stomach bug. Don't worry."

If he remembered hard—and his ability to memorize thing is definitely one of his strong points—he could recall how healthy she looked more than two months ago when they first met, but comparing back then to know, Elaine looks like she hasn't been eating well, she looks a bit thinner and from how he remembers her appearance 3 days ago, she is paler, too.

"You're sure?"

"Obviously. If I'm sick, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to and is sleeping at home already." Elaine laughs, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture before adding, "and Doshiel would not even allow me to come near the mine."

The mention of Doshiel reminds Ghilen of a question he's been wanting to ask for a while now. Doshiel is strange, to say the least, he often hangs around Elaine but the inventor is never quite sure what is the man's job around here. That elf has Mythal marking but the way he speaks is quite different from the normal Dalish.

But most unusual of all is how he always seems to take care of Elaine—he helps her deliver things around the village, reminds her to eat or to sleep. Once, Ghilen even saw him carrying Elaine back home when she fell asleep due to fatigue. But never once did he see Doshiel acting affectionate to Elaine in a way that a lover would—no kissing, hugging, touching or anything—strictly professional, one could say.

"Say, Elaine… uhm, is Doshiel… your lover?" Ghilen inquires slowly, not sure how to make his question sound natural.

His friend's eyes widen for a second before she laughs into her hand. "Is that what it looks like? I guess it does! So funny"

Ghilen patiently waits until Elaine calms down. She breathes in before replying normally, "I love someone else. Doshiel is an acquaintance of his so he stays around and cares for me while my love's away."

"Oh". There is a disappointment growing in Ghilen's heart at Elaine's words. He has hoped… has wanted that there'd be another human-elf couple around here, with one part of the pair to be someone who could understand him… like Elaine…

"You know, the man I love is an elf, too. He's my bondmate, just like you and Hans." Elaine pulls back her sleeve to reveal a soulmark with the name 'Fen' written in red ink.

There's a pause that makes Ghilen look up to see her eyes fill with understanding. She leans her cheek against her the cradle of her arms, pulling her legs even closer to herself. She smiles. "My love is a scholar, you can say. He loves to learn and search for new knowledge just like you. I think he'll like you."

Just one look into her eyes and he understands, she knows it too—the fear, the hurt comes from the painful words people throw at them, the need to seek out people just like them. His case is different from Elaine's, with her and her lover being female and male and all, but he is glad, so glad. He is happy that he can finally meet someone who understands.

"I'd like to meet him some days." A big smile splits on his face.

"He'll come in another two weeks or so. I'll definitely introduce your two."

"I can't wai—"

"Elaine, shouldn't you go to bed already?" A voice appears so suddenly that it makes Ghilen almost drop his hammer. Once again, at the doorway stands Doshiel with his nonchalant stand against the pole. But this time, standing next to him is Elaine's uncle, Harry. Damn, it's been days since Ghilen last saw the old man.

"Yes, yes, what did I say about overworking yourself, child?" The uncle crosses his arms, talking with a stern voice. "I will not accept you dying before me!"

"Uncle, stop exaggerating it. It was only a couple of nights, and I did get some sleep!"

"Oh yes, because getting into bed past midnight and wake up before dawn is a full sleep" Harry snorts, waving his hand to call his niece over. "Come, let's go home. I'll make you my special tea. You'll sleep well until noon."

"What? No!" Exclaims Elaine, but she still walks over to him. "Then I'm not going home. Who's gonna take care of those crates? You?!"

"Hush, girl. Don't talk to your elders that way. I'm only saying this for your own good."

Doshiel finally speaks up when he sees her hesitation to leave. "Harry is right, Ellie. You need to rest, don't forget we need to deliver the cargos soon, the customers will reward us greatly for them."

There is a strange glint in Elaine's eyes that comes and goes within seconds. She then turns to Ghilen and smiles. "I guess I have to go now. Sorry."

"No problems, I'll see you later then, El." The elf waves his goodbye. Just like that, he watches as the thee people depart until the light of their lantern fades away into the dark completely.

Ghilen works for a short while more until his shoulders couldn't bear with it anymore. As he helps his bondmate get into their bed and then slip into it himself, the last thing in his mind as Hans holds him isn't about his projects but the joy of meeting other people who could understand him.

xxXxx

 _Calm yourself, Ghilen. You can do this. Yes, you can do this… Oh no, I can't do this!_

The elf moans in his head He tries to keep his face as cheerful as possible but couldn't. Not with the crowd watching him. Some of them are curious, but most are smirking or laughing at him as they point at his invention. Words that predicting failure and condescending giggle surrounding him.

A hand wraps around his—Hans' hand, warm and strong and full of trust in him. A shadow falls over them which, by looking up, reveals to be Elaine with a confident smile.

"Shall we start?" She asks.

"All right!" Ghilen stands up and walks beneath the hovering large wings with a long rope attached to it. His goal is to carry the end of the thing to the other mountain top, connecting the two sides. This will be proof that shows hows how this machine will have actual application in the real world and he cannot fail.

With his bondmate and El's help, he secures himself into the wooden frame. All the joints of his limbs are padded with the rubber covers that will absorb most external impacts into them. Even his head is protected by a helmet that stuffed with both cotton and rubber.

The wing's fabric had been sealed with resin and rubber solution, which was also used on the wood. To be honest, Ghilen would prefer to have a metal frame instead, but he simply doesn't have money for it so he had to settle for the strongest and most flexible wood he could find around here.

He nods to Hans and Elaine as he gets into position. The elf tests the control bar for the last time before sucking in a deep breath.

Then he runs, as fast as he can to the end of the cliff. The strong winds, typical of these kinds of high terrain, help to carry him forward so easily despite the heavy construction on his back.

He reaches the edge.

And then Ghilen flies.

The cold airs splatter against his face but he tries to keep his eyes open to see the world becomes even bigger than it already is.

One end of the rope that tied to a rock is still attached to his hip, weight the wings down but he feels so free. He's weightless, soaring in the air like a bird. And with a press with enough force from his upper body, he could swirl around like one, too.

Ghilen laughs like a child. Funny, really, given that he already flew like this quite a few times before for testing. Maybe because this is the first time he flies this far and high, maybe because there are so many people watching him this time instead of just Hans. Either way, he can't stop laughing or howling. Even the suddenly strong winds here and there that wobble his wing isn't enough to damper his joy.

He can see the other side coming closer. Trying to keep balance, Ghilen takes the prepared rope into his arm. It's simple in theory—throw it down the slope or into one of the trees, detach the rest of the rope from his person, then land. Or just land, but that's not very safe since such long strand can tangle and yank him back at the worst moment... Oh well, throw then.

He spins the rope to get the momentum and prepares to throw.

Only for an enormous gust of wind comes from now where throw his wing in the opposite direction.

"Arghhh!"

The elf screams as he tries to control the balance in vain. The ropes that threaten to tangle and pull him down isn't helping at all. He struggles in the air, hands fumble over the knots to release the thick strand that still stuck to him.

Another gush pushes him back white a distance just as Ghilen removes the rope from his person. He grunts but holds tightly onto his control bar, forcing the wing to get back into a balancing position while turning it around. He cannot continue his quest, not without killing himself or at least maiming his body from a fall this high.

Straining himself to fly back, Ghilen has to fight against the extremely unpredictable way the air now moving.

"Fuck my life. This can't get any worse," he groans. And just like that, the spirits decide to jinx him with the sound of broken wood. Ghilen looks to the side to see that one of the main struts had been broken under the strain.

"Shit shit shit shit shit."

Ghilen pushes for the wing to up to maintain a height that will leave him without time to land into a proper surface.

Several more struts break as the result. So Ghilen has to scream, "ARGHHHH!"

He let himself be carried away by whatever his wing has left for him.

As he gets closer to the flat surface where people are running away all over the place like ants, the elf yells on the top of his lungs, "Outta the way. Outta the way!"

He can't truly comprehend everything afterward. All he thinks he saw in a flash are wood and splinters, and then darkness and pain.

"GHILEN!"

"GHI! ARE YOU OKAY?"

The elf vaguely hears two voices calling for him but he can't focus much on them. His whole body is in pain and somehow frozen in one place with something heavy on top of him. There are sounds ringing in his ears that everything else is muffled.

Ghilen feels movements near him and then somehow his back and legs become lighter. Hands grabbing at him to turn him around.

"Don't move him too much. Let me check him first." He hears a feminine voice says. "Cut to the head but not deep. It's okay, the blood makes it look worse than it actually is."

"Shit. I think the left arm is broken." Another voice, Hans's voice, comes to Ghilen's ears. The elf groans, trying to move in his bondmate's arms but the latter stops him with a gentle coo, "Shhh, don't move, love. Stay still, it's gonna be okay."

"You! get me two straight sticks and bandages. You there, get me hot water!" The female voice, which Ghilen can now recognize to be Elaine's order. He's never heard such an authority coming from her before.

"Y-yes, my la—Elaine!" Voices shouting around Ghilen follow by the thumbing of running footsteps. He opens his eyes to witness the worried look on Elaine's face and the absolute agony on Hans's.

"Hans… sorry… I-I failed…"

That's the last thing he manages to say before darkness once again takes over his vision.

xxXxx

They are laughing. He tries to ignore them but their laughter still grates into his ears. He had spent three days at the healer's house with Hans hovering around non-stop. Even Elaine, busy as she is, still coming over twice a day to bring the two of them food. She had even helped paid for the fee which only making Ghilen even more depressed. All of his love and his friend's hope was all for naught. He's failed so spectacularly that even the two of them are being laughed at or at least receiving mocking looks.

Now, Ghilen's walking home with Hans by his side. They're both trying to block out the sneering but the dark look on his human bondmate clearly shows that they've failed miserably.

"Fucking idiot doesn't know his place. Can't do his job. Keep wasting materials making junks," someone behind him says.

"He wants to use his machines to replace magic! Can't you believe that fucker? We've fought to get this land and he wants to deny our rights to use magic!?"

"Can't even have children. What's the point of being bondmates then?"

Hans sucks in a breath with his head lowers down. And that is all Ghilen could take.

"SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS!" The elf turns around to scream at everyone he sees. "What did we do that you've to torment us like this? Huh? I only want to invent things, what's wrong with that? Did I still from you people to make my stuff?

"I've never asked from any of you anything for free. I worked and paid for all my materials and parts. I've never boasted that my creations are better than magic. I don't even want to replace magic or anything. Why do you have to accuse me of things I didn't do?

"And why are you fuckers keep picking on Hans? Has he ever done anything to you? Whatever we do in our house isn't your damn business! Did I ask you to eardrop on us? If you have any problem with me then just say it. DON'T PULL MY HUSBAND INTO THIS, YOU BASTARDS!"

He's now panting with sweat covering his most likely red face. The ringing in his ear is so overwhelming that it can only be overshadowed by his need to resort to violence to calm his rage. His rant has stopped the sneering and whisperings, but it doesn't stop the condescending or disgusted looks. Even his beloved Hans is standing there with mouth gaping, stunted by the whole outburst.

Gritting his teeth, Ghilen sprints around, leaving behind Hans who calling out after him.

The inventor keeps running until he reaches his workshop. All of his creations are still there, waiting to be finished—a handpump that can replace the heavy crank of a wheel, a bowl with a box with water that can flush away all wastes, metal frame on 3 wheels to replace horses, those are just some of his works. He had even design trivial trinkets like a hand-crank box that can make music or little wings that can twist in the air. There are so many designs that still on papers but he's planned to make them in the future. But now, what's the point?

He can continue to make things, but if no one wants to use them then what's the point? If Ghilen cannot make Hans happy then what's the reason for him to go on now?

He grabs a vase full of oil and throws it against the wall. It breaks into dozen pieces, oil splattering against the wood.

More things are thrown and destroyed. Crashing and breaking noises fill the space but they do nothing to quell his despair.

"Ghi, what the fuck? Stop it! Stop!"

Hans runs into the room. He grips at Ghilen's wrists but somehow, despite the human being the stronger one of the two, the elf still manages to evade the restraining attempt.

"Let go, Hans!"

"You calm down first!"

"Are you crazy? You put all your mind into these works!"

"I don't care! I don't want to see them anymore. These are all trash!" He throws a wooden puzzle into the hearth. The flame quickly consumes the toy and blazes even hotter.

The couple keeps struggling against each other. More objects are being thrown against the wall and into the fire. At some point, Ghilen realizes that he is crying, his cheeks wet with salty water.

Elaine rushes through the door. "Please calm down. We can talk this through!" She tries to placate him with soft words but it only agitates him even more. He thrashes and throws and cries until the hold of Hans becomes too much.

Once again, he falls asleep in exhaustion.

xxXxx

"How is he?" Ghilen vaguely hears Elaine ask. It's hard to tell when all he sees are darkness and the sounds are muffled.

"Tired. Sleeping…" A tender hand cards through his hair. "It's better this way, I think, better than him attacking people like the last time."

"Last time?"

"You don't think we just uprooted and left our childhood home to gamble our chance in a new country, do you?" Hans sounds almost amused if it isn't for the bitterness hides in his voice. "No, there's no peace in that place. And after what my husband had done, I don't people there will ever leave us alone."

"What did he do, may I ask?" Comes a quiet question.

"Some elves harassed him because my father—his mentor—gave him half of the shop when he died. I owned the other half so we could be had a life for ourselves, not going to be hungry but not enough to help others either, so people in the alienage didn't like it. Thinking we were selfish for not helping 'family'. Funny, because Ghilen's an orphan." Hans signs. "Then they heard about how human and elf soulmates can make half-elves and…"

He goes silent for a bit before continues. "The humans didn't like either, thinking I'm a traitor for marrying a 'knife-ear' instead of just keeping Ghi as a bed-warmer so they went out of their way to sabotage our business.

"A group of those attacked me in our workshop. They… they tried to cut my hands so Ghi threw boiling oil at them. We ran away, abandoned almost everything that night. We only sneaked back to gather the most valuable things and run. Ghi's been obsessed with giving me a better life since then."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. We're not sorry for falling in love. Hell, even if he isn't my soulmate, I'd still choose him and go through everything. I don't regret any of these. It's just… I wish I've been stronger for him. I hate fighting, but if I was, I don't know, more aggressive maybe, I could have scared those people off. I…"

Ghilen feels Hans's moves the hand on his shoulder away to wrap both arms around his smaller body. His vhenan whispers, "I really envy you, El."

"Why?"

"Your bondmate is elven, but everyone here respects and listens to you. You don't have to worry anyone attacks you and…" His voice becomes even quieter. "...You can have children. You can make little half-elves that people will love because they can 'contribute' to elven people. You can—well, you don't have people telling you your love is a waste."

"I-I don't know what to say, Hans."

"'s not your fault, I know. I just… shit, I'm sorry, I guess I'm just tired…" Hans trails off against. Soon, there're sobs. The same angry sounds Ghilen'd heard that night. "The way people act toward you, El, is that how couples like us will be treated in this new country? Can I… can I and Ghi be accepted just like that? Even though we can't have children?"

Fighting against his fatigue, the elf drags his body to wake up. His heavy arm reaches up to wipe the tears from his beloved's eyes.

"Don't cry, Hans. You don't look handsome when you cry." Ghilen grins, though he'd guess that his smile's looking pretty strained right now. "I love it when you laugh."

"Stupid. Don't say it like that when we're being serious here." Hans chides. Yet he's smiling even with a wet face. "And I'll smile when you're not mad anymore. Don't just throw all those works away. They're important to me, too."

Ghilen snaps bitterly, "But what use keeping them? I-It's not like I can continue them anymore. No one wants to sponsor or use them aside from us!"

"That's wrong." Elaine abruptly speaks. "There are potential people who need your designs. The matter is simply getting you out of here to a wider, more open-minded audience."

She stands up and steps in front of them. "My lover works directly to Lord Fen'Harel. Our government is looking for as many talented individuals as possible, in all fields. Of course, magic is the main focus but the High Commander also wants to expand our strength in mechanical engineering to help those without magic."

She smiles. "If you agree, I can bring you two to Tuarlathan. After a test—which I believe you two can pass easily based on what I heard—you will receive funds and assistants for your projects!"

"What?" Ghilen's only reaction is to stare. Shit, he isn't 25 yet and already has hearing trouble. At least he doesn't drop his mouth to the ground like Hans's doing right now.

"Oh? Okay, guess this is too sudden then. Let me repeat: if you want, I have connections that can bring you two to the Capital, you'll get your chance to continue your passion there if you're determined enough." Elaine rests her fists on her hips, looking extremely proud as she explains.

"Is this a joke?" Hans narrows his eyes.

"No. I don't joke with these kinds of matters." Their female friend gives both of them a pointed look.

"What's the catch?" Hans's brows pinch together. Ghilen has to agree—there's no way something this good could come to them so easily.

Elaine nods with her hand extends out. With each word, she holds up a finger, lips pouting as she counts. "You must show results, and it's must be something practical that can serve the mass. When you first start, they'll allow you a year before you present your first state. If you pass, you can receive more time and funds. But if you fail, they'll pull all sponsorships out. Of course, in the case that you do show potential but results aren't up-to-pair, they can keep you but assign an officer who'll oversee everything and report back to the higher-ups.

"Also, no bringing your work to public places either, that needs permissions; no discussing your work outside of your division building; and most importantly, no experiment on people unless it's been tested on non-human subjects first and the people must volunteer for it—but the supervisors will intervene if you go too far. That's the basic rules. I heard that there're more but just remember those for now."

She smiles at the two men. "So, what do you think? My love will come in another week so please give us your answer by then."

"Yes!" Both Hans and Ghilen shout as they stand up.

"That is fast." Elaine purses her lips, which is stretching into a grin." You don't think that I'm scamming you two or something?"

"You're our friend, we believe you." Replies Ghilen.

"And any offer is still better than the state we're in. Maker witnesses me but even if you're a demon, I'll still take your offer."

"I'm not interested in your soul." The human girl deadpans before chuckles. "Ghilen, your creations can bring so many sustainable benefits for everyone in the long term. I look forward to seeing what you will do with this offer."

"What we'll do? We'll show you all the things my inventions can do that beyond your wildest imagination." Ghilen declares. His chest puffs up in a show of bravado. The thought of how fortune has come to him and give him a chance to prove himself once more pushes away the cloud in his head, making him stronger, braver and more determined than ever.

"Great. I think you two can start to work on something to show my bondmate now. Don't prepare something grand, make something that can work and is practical. Show him that you have ideas that can help people outside of war. I know that's what you like to do so show it to him."

"Of course." Comes the unison declares of the couple.

xxXxx

"Hey, vhenan, we have any milk roots left?" Ghilen calls while his hand still squeezing the white root to extract the sticky substance. It's hard to work with just one hand but he manages.

"These are the last ones." Hans put down a small tub which only half filled up.

"We'll need more."

"Wait until tomorrow then. I'll go ask El."

The elf hums, thinking for a while before declaring, "Let's go gather them by ourselves. No needs to bother Elaine, you know she's busy."

"Go into the mine? Are you nuts? The last time we hanged out there they were angry at us. If we go there, they'll kick our asses."

"But it'll be fun. Just you and me, sneaking into forbidden places and then escape with the treasure, just like when we're young."

"No. Stop being stupid."

"Please."

"No."

"Please, my love. Won't you just spoil me this one time?" Ghilen opens his eyes bigger and tries to get as many tears out as he can.

"No way, I let you get your way everyday. Not this time. Nuh-uh."

Hans looks conflicted, good, now Ghilen just needs another push. He pouts his lips, eyes blink to get the wetness out. Then adds in a few sniffles.

"No." Hans glares at him.

xxXxx

"I'm a fucking idiot," Hans repeats as they walk in the darkness. The moon is bright enough tonight to not using a torch.

"Spoiling me isn't stupid." Ghilen thinks it's pretty romantic, too, even if his love just keeps grumbling all the way.

"We're walking into a place people warned us not to. That's the definition of stupid. We should go bac—"

"Hey, we're here." Ghilen cheerfully whispers as the mine's opening comes to sight. There's only one guy guarding it but he's snoozing, what luck!

Hans groans but nevertheless, the couple still sneaks into the large tunnel.

It's lit just enough so the pair can detect shadows walking toward them here and there just in time to hideaway. Eventually, they reach the spot where Ghilen has come before to get the roots with Elaine's permission.

"Hm, these roots are a bit old. Not enough sap." Hans makes a point by cut into one tube to show how the liquid comes out too little for their liking.

Ghilen frowns. They need a lot of sap and their bags can only carry a certain amount of these roots. And it's not like they can just come in and out of this mine like it's their house...

"All right. We need to go in deeper, there should be something fresher down there."

"What? No!" Hans mouths, but Ghilen already walks quickly into the tunnel. His husband sighs before following him. Together makes sure to leave marks on the wall so they could find the way out later.

They walk and gather the fresh roots along the way. These are much better than what they've expected but so few in between that by the time the two have gathered two full bags, they're already deep inside a dark place lit with small torches.

As Hans gazes into the darkness far into the path, Ghilen notes with a gulp that it's way too eerie here. He murmurs to his human, "Let's go back, this's enough."

"All right." Hans nods. But the moments they're turning around. They heard a voice comes from one of the rooms a bit deep into the dark. The light shines so brightly from it within the dim light.

"Pillar 50 is done. We still have a dozen left." A female voice, somewhat deep and confident speaks up. "I want pillar 51 to 56 done before tomorrow night. Make sure to rotate shifts more often, they will need it."

"Of course, my lady." A male voice answers, which Ghilen recognizes it's Harry's.

"Who's that woman?" Hans whispers.

Ghilen just shakes his head. His curiosity gets the better of him so before he knows it, the elf already presses forward to hear better. There's something about that woman's voice that tickles his mind.

"Ghi, what's the hell you're doing." Hans snarls as quiet as he can while reaching out to grab Ghilen's shirt to yank him back.

The sudden movement causes the elf to reflexively propel himself forward, pulling Hans with him. They land into a heave on the ground. Ghilen tries to get up but it's hard with the poor lighting—or the lack of thereof—and a human on his back.

"Who's there?"

And of course, that alerts the ones they were ear-dropping on. The first one to come out of the room is Harry. The middle-aged man's eyebrows rise to his hairline when he sees them.

He frowns and turns to the doorway. "I think you should see this."

The two men brace themselves for whomever it is going to beat the living shit out of them. The shadow the woman cast on the wall is getting bigger and—

"Elaine?"

* * *

 **A/N:** My HC is that the elves tend to not look kindly at same-sex marriages due to their much urgent need of maintaining their already dwindling population. Having non-serious homosexual relationships is okay but at the end of the day, most elves would be expected to do 'what is right' for their community.

In this verse, after Solas had spread everywhere the news of how hetero human-elf bondmates can produce half-elves who can make more elves under the right conditions, the opinions of this kind of love in elven groups have become more positive even if it's for more practical reasons rather than because people truly accepting it. The same cannot be said for same-sex bondmates since they cannot have biological children. Ghilen also has it worse because he prefers to use machines and technologies than magic.


End file.
